Read Online Going in Circles by Pamela Ribon - Free Book Online Page B

needs some attention. One of the buttons on his shirtfront is undone, and I practically have to sit on my hands to keep from walking over there and fixing it. It’s not like his skin’s exposed—he’s wearing a T-shirt underneath—but it makes me feel like I’ve rushed him, that he doesn’t have time for me. That I’m in the way.
    Dr. Hemphill hitches his pants at the knee as he crosses his legs and asks, “So, Charlotte. What brings you to therapy?”
    His casual tone is off-putting. Do people come to therapywith a chummy vibe? Isn’t this serious business, the delving into life crises and behavior patterns? Shouldn’t he have more of a solemn tone? At least appropriately solemn enough for someone who feels desperate and lost enough to seek help?
Seek!
That’s the word we use! A word we use for blind people, for the starving, for refugees. Seeking is urgent! I am at such a low place in my life that I’m actually seeking the advice of someone on how to simply
be.
So it would be nice if he treated this meeting with a bit of gravity.
    It occurs to Charlotte Goodman at this moment that perhaps she shouldn’t worry so much about the audition, as she’s crazy enough without having to embellish even the slightest bit.
    â€œI thought I told you on the phone why I’m here,” I say to Dr. Hemphill.
    He leans over on one elbow, pulling at the back of his curls with his hand. “I know you’re struggling with decisions about your marriage,” he says. “But that has to do with a third party, someone who isn’t here. I meant what specifically about yourself brought you here?”
    â€œWell, Doctor,” I begin.
    â€œCall me Gary,” he says.
    First of all, that’s not a doctor’s name.
Gary
is the name of the guy at the pet store, the one who keeps trying to talk you into buying that electric litter box. I need this man in front of me to be a doctor all the time. I’d rather call him Dr. Doctor. “Dr. Doctor, MD.” I want this to feel as medical as possible. It already bothers me that he looks like anybody else.
    â€œWell,
Doctor,
” I say firmly, letting Gary know exactly what kind of relationship we’re going to have. “I guess I don’t know, then.”
    He nods. Maybe that was the right answer. “Why don’t you start by telling me why you left your husband?”
    â€œBecause he left me first.”
    â€œAnd what was that like?”
    â€œWhen he left me, or I left him?”
    â€œYour choice.”
    So I tell him.

9.
    Charlotte Goodman spent her final night in her marital house packing and alone.
    Matthew didn’t want to be a witness to her exodus and had wisely chosen to go to a poker game with some friends. Before he left, as he stood at the door with his hand still grasping the knob, he said as a good-bye, “I’m going to stay at Pete’s tonight. I don’t want to see tomorrow.”
    It was their last moment together, in their home as husband and wife, for at least a while and possibly forever. Charlotte found herself rubbing her wedding band inside her palm with her thumb.
    He had given her this ring in front of the restaurant where they’d had their first date. It had all gone so wrong for Matthew, his proposal. The restaurant had been closed for repairs, they’d gotten rear-ended as they were parking the car, and a hungry Charlotte had become grumpy and bickering, intentionally antagonistic with every new topic Matthew started. He was trying to get her to be quiet long enough so he could drop to one knee. Finally he realized the gesture would shut her up. And it did. Until she said yes.
    As Charlotte watched her husband stand in the doorway,ready to leave for not the first time but perhaps the last, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t truly happening, that this was happening to other people, that she was playing a part in a