Read Online God bless you, Dr. Kevorkian by Kurt Vonnegut - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kurt Vonnegut
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one.
So when my own time comes to join the choir 10
invisible or whatever, God forbid, I hope someone will say,
up in Heaven now." Who really knows? I could have dreamed all this.
My epitaph in any case? "Everything was beautiful. Nothing hurt." I will have gotten off so light, whatever the heck it is that was going on. Humanists, having received no credible information about any sort of God, are content to serve as well as they can, the only abstraction with which they have some familiarity: their communities. They don't have to join the
to be one.
Yes, and this booklet of my conversations with the dead-and-buried was created in the hope that it would earn a little bit of
for me, but for the
National Public Radio Station WNYC in downtown Manhattan. WNYC enhances the informed wit and 11
wisdom of its community and mine. It does what no commercial radio or TV station can afford to do any more. WNYC satisfies the people's right to contrasted with, as abject slaves of high-roller publicists and advertisers, keeping the public vacantly diverted and entertained.
Whereas formal religions surely comfort many members of the WNYC staff, that staff's collective effect on its community is
ideal so
Earthbound and unmajestic that I never capitalize it. As I have used it here, "humanist" is nothing more
'
supernatural than a handy synonym for "good citizenship and common decency." I wish one and all long and happy
no matter what
may become of them afterwards. Use sunscreen!
Don't smoke cigarettes.
12
Cigars, however, are good for
There is even a
magazine celebrating their
with male role
models,
actors, rich guys with trophy
on its covers. Why not the surgeon general? Cigars, of course, are made of trail mix, of crushed cashews and Granola and raisins, soaked in maple syrup and dried in the
Why not eat one tonight at bedtime? Firearms are also good for you. Ask Charlton Heston, who once played Moses. Gunpowder has zero fat and zero cholesterol. That goes for dumdums, too. Ask your senator or senatrix or congressperson if guns, like cigars, aren't good for you. My late Uncle Alex
my father's kid brother,
a Harvard-educated life insurance agent in Indianapolis who was well read and wise, was a humanist like all the rest of the family. What Uncle Alex found particularly 13
objectionable about human beings in general was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. He himself did his best to acknowledge it when times were sweet. We could be
lemonade in
the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, "If this isn't nice, what is?"
I myself say that out loud at times of easy, natural bliss: "If this isn't nice, what is?" Perhaps others can also make use of that heirloom from Uncle I find
it really cheers me up to keep score out loud that way. OK, now let's have some fun. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about women. Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything. 14
What do men want? They want a lot of and
they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them. Why are so many people getting divorced today? It's because most of us don't have extended families It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.
A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The
Kennedys.
But most of
if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the
The groom gets
one more
but it's a
The woman gets one
more person to talk to about everything, but it's a When a couple has an argument, they may think it's about money or power or sex, or how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this:
"You are not enough
I met a man in Nigeria
So when my own time comes to join the choir 10
invisible or whatever, God forbid, I hope someone will say,
up in Heaven now." Who really knows? I could have dreamed all this.
My epitaph in any case? "Everything was beautiful. Nothing hurt." I will have gotten off so light, whatever the heck it is that was going on. Humanists, having received no credible information about any sort of God, are content to serve as well as they can, the only abstraction with which they have some familiarity: their communities. They don't have to join the
to be one.
Yes, and this booklet of my conversations with the dead-and-buried was created in the hope that it would earn a little bit of
for me, but for the
National Public Radio Station WNYC in downtown Manhattan. WNYC enhances the informed wit and 11
wisdom of its community and mine. It does what no commercial radio or TV station can afford to do any more. WNYC satisfies the people's right to contrasted with, as abject slaves of high-roller publicists and advertisers, keeping the public vacantly diverted and entertained.
Whereas formal religions surely comfort many members of the WNYC staff, that staff's collective effect on its community is
ideal so
Earthbound and unmajestic that I never capitalize it. As I have used it here, "humanist" is nothing more
'
supernatural than a handy synonym for "good citizenship and common decency." I wish one and all long and happy
no matter what
may become of them afterwards. Use sunscreen!
Don't smoke cigarettes.
12
Cigars, however, are good for
There is even a
magazine celebrating their
with male role
models,
actors, rich guys with trophy
on its covers. Why not the surgeon general? Cigars, of course, are made of trail mix, of crushed cashews and Granola and raisins, soaked in maple syrup and dried in the
Why not eat one tonight at bedtime? Firearms are also good for you. Ask Charlton Heston, who once played Moses. Gunpowder has zero fat and zero cholesterol. That goes for dumdums, too. Ask your senator or senatrix or congressperson if guns, like cigars, aren't good for you. My late Uncle Alex
my father's kid brother,
a Harvard-educated life insurance agent in Indianapolis who was well read and wise, was a humanist like all the rest of the family. What Uncle Alex found particularly 13
objectionable about human beings in general was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. He himself did his best to acknowledge it when times were sweet. We could be
lemonade in
the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, "If this isn't nice, what is?"
I myself say that out loud at times of easy, natural bliss: "If this isn't nice, what is?" Perhaps others can also make use of that heirloom from Uncle I find
it really cheers me up to keep score out loud that way. OK, now let's have some fun. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about women. Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything. 14
What do men want? They want a lot of and
they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them. Why are so many people getting divorced today? It's because most of us don't have extended families It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.
A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The
Kennedys.
But most of
if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the
The groom gets
one more
but it's a
The woman gets one
more person to talk to about everything, but it's a When a couple has an argument, they may think it's about money or power or sex, or how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this:
"You are not enough
I met a man in Nigeria
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