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Authors: Susan Howatch
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My moment came to receive the sacrament. Erasing all thought of my commission I focused my mind on the spiritual reality confronting me and it was not until I had returned to my seat that I allowed myself to think again of Jardine. I vowed to remember that my first duty was not to the Archbishop of Canterbury. I asked for the strength to overcome my weaknesses. And at the conclusion of the service I let the familiar prayer of Christ echo in my mind: Let thy will, not mine, be done.
Lang’s will immediately became as unimportant as my own. I felt comforted, and rising to my feet at last I left the chapel to find Gerald Harvey hovering in the side-aisle.
‘Waiting for the Bishop?’ I enquired with a smile.
‘No, for you.’
I was impressed by this courtesy and at once I felt guilty that I had written him off as ineffectual. ‘How nice of you,’ I said. ‘Sorry I’ve kept you hanging about.’
‘Oh, you mustn’t apologize for taking extra time for prayer!’ said Harvey shocked. He was so young and ingenuous that he made me feel old and world-weary. ‘How did you like the service?’
I paid the Bishop a suitable compliment and was glad I did not have to be insincere for the sake of politeness. We walked through the porch on to the sward. Beyond the wall of the churchyard the houses of the Close basked in the sun and a horse was drawing a milk-cart slowly along the North Walk. I could hear the birds singing in the cedar tree nearby.
‘I must confess the Bishop intrigues me,’ I said idly at last. ‘What would you say was the fundamental nature of his belief? God-centred? Christ-centred? Rooted in the Trinity?’
‘Well, it’s all those things,’ said Harvey, ‘but I suppose he’s fundamentally Christocentric. He has an overriding belief not just in Christ’s compassion and forgiveness but in Christ’s honesty and truth, and that’s why he can’t bear hypocrisy – he sees it as a re-enactment of the Pharisees’ behaviour in the Gospels and he feels called to attack it just as Our Lord did.’ He shot me a shy glance. ‘Please forgive him for last night,’ he said rapidly. ‘He didn’t mean to hurt you. He just misjudged your sincerity – I think he suspected you’d only adopted your point of view out of loyalty to Dr Lang and of course he was wrong, but anyone can make a mistake, can’t they, and he really is the most wonderful man, absolutely the best, believe me.’
I realized belatedly that he had sought my company in order to defend his hero, and I knew I should signal that I was willing to be convinced of Jardine’s heroic qualities. I said with interest, ‘He’s been good to you?’
‘That’s an understatement!’ In his enthusiasm Harvey became confidential. ‘When I was at the Cathedral School at Radbury my parents died and Dr Jardine – he was Dean of Radbury then – simply took me over, paid my school fees, had me to stay in the holidays – and it wasn’t as if I was one of those appealing children who look like angels and win all the prizes. Then later when I wanted to be ordained I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to pass the exams but Dr Jardine just said, “Nonsense, of course you can!” and when he offered to coach me in his spare time I knew he really believed I could do it. I’d never have passed if it hadn’t been for him, and afterwards when he asked me to be his chaplain … Well, you can imagine how I felt! Of course I was terrified I’d be no good and in fact I’m sure he could get someone better, but I try very hard and I seem to muddle through somehow.’
‘I’m sure you do very well.’ It was impossible not to be touched by his honesty, and suddenly I knew why he had appealed to Jardine.
Meanwhile our conversation had taken us through the palace gateway and I was rapidly framing some questions which would take advantage of his confidential mood. ‘Tell me about life at the palace,’ I said. ‘Miss Christie evidently has an important
My moment came to receive the sacrament. Erasing all thought of my commission I focused my mind on the spiritual reality confronting me and it was not until I had returned to my seat that I allowed myself to think again of Jardine. I vowed to remember that my first duty was not to the Archbishop of Canterbury. I asked for the strength to overcome my weaknesses. And at the conclusion of the service I let the familiar prayer of Christ echo in my mind: Let thy will, not mine, be done.
Lang’s will immediately became as unimportant as my own. I felt comforted, and rising to my feet at last I left the chapel to find Gerald Harvey hovering in the side-aisle.
‘Waiting for the Bishop?’ I enquired with a smile.
‘No, for you.’
I was impressed by this courtesy and at once I felt guilty that I had written him off as ineffectual. ‘How nice of you,’ I said. ‘Sorry I’ve kept you hanging about.’
‘Oh, you mustn’t apologize for taking extra time for prayer!’ said Harvey shocked. He was so young and ingenuous that he made me feel old and world-weary. ‘How did you like the service?’
I paid the Bishop a suitable compliment and was glad I did not have to be insincere for the sake of politeness. We walked through the porch on to the sward. Beyond the wall of the churchyard the houses of the Close basked in the sun and a horse was drawing a milk-cart slowly along the North Walk. I could hear the birds singing in the cedar tree nearby.
‘I must confess the Bishop intrigues me,’ I said idly at last. ‘What would you say was the fundamental nature of his belief? God-centred? Christ-centred? Rooted in the Trinity?’
‘Well, it’s all those things,’ said Harvey, ‘but I suppose he’s fundamentally Christocentric. He has an overriding belief not just in Christ’s compassion and forgiveness but in Christ’s honesty and truth, and that’s why he can’t bear hypocrisy – he sees it as a re-enactment of the Pharisees’ behaviour in the Gospels and he feels called to attack it just as Our Lord did.’ He shot me a shy glance. ‘Please forgive him for last night,’ he said rapidly. ‘He didn’t mean to hurt you. He just misjudged your sincerity – I think he suspected you’d only adopted your point of view out of loyalty to Dr Lang and of course he was wrong, but anyone can make a mistake, can’t they, and he really is the most wonderful man, absolutely the best, believe me.’
I realized belatedly that he had sought my company in order to defend his hero, and I knew I should signal that I was willing to be convinced of Jardine’s heroic qualities. I said with interest, ‘He’s been good to you?’
‘That’s an understatement!’ In his enthusiasm Harvey became confidential. ‘When I was at the Cathedral School at Radbury my parents died and Dr Jardine – he was Dean of Radbury then – simply took me over, paid my school fees, had me to stay in the holidays – and it wasn’t as if I was one of those appealing children who look like angels and win all the prizes. Then later when I wanted to be ordained I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to pass the exams but Dr Jardine just said, “Nonsense, of course you can!” and when he offered to coach me in his spare time I knew he really believed I could do it. I’d never have passed if it hadn’t been for him, and afterwards when he asked me to be his chaplain … Well, you can imagine how I felt! Of course I was terrified I’d be no good and in fact I’m sure he could get someone better, but I try very hard and I seem to muddle through somehow.’
‘I’m sure you do very well.’ It was impossible not to be touched by his honesty, and suddenly I knew why he had appealed to Jardine.
Meanwhile our conversation had taken us through the palace gateway and I was rapidly framing some questions which would take advantage of his confidential mood. ‘Tell me about life at the palace,’ I said. ‘Miss Christie evidently has an important
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