Read Online Girl Called Karen by Karen McConnell, Eileen Brand - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Karen McConnell, Eileen Brand
Ads: Link
get out of the house immediately as, totally unaware of the very real danger, I carefully gathered food and clothing for my babies.
That first night, as I sat in my new home, I was more despairing than I had ever been in my life. But after making myself a cup of tea, I thought, “No, this is not where I belong. I can make a difference. I can make my life matter.”
I began to create a plan. First I looked at the positives. The exterior of the little house was attractive, and the great big yard was lovely. I would enjoy the yard and fix up the house. As to the rest of my life, I knew that I had to be patient. When my boys got a little older, I would go back to school. As I examined those things that had worked for me in the past, I knew that education was the key to getting ahead, that having fun and enjoying the now would sustain me, and that viewing the present living arrangement as a temporary growth opportunity would provide me with a positive perspective. Life would improve. I had already learned some of the techniques of reframing (which I’ll discuss at length later), so I knew how I could keep improving my performance at whatever I tried to do.
Our son David arrived when Rick was in his terrible two’s. Daniel was born eleven months after David, so I had three exceptionally lively little ones at home.
My brother, David, came to live with us when he turned fifteen.
Somewhere along the way, I quit ironing for pin money and got a job at the Betty Crocker Division of General Mills, Inc.
The best thing that Dick and I managed to do was to produce our three healthy sons. Some of my insecurities from my father’s desertion affected them much more than I realized. I never wanted them to think that I would leave them, and I said so often. I didn’t learn until they were grown that my words were frightening, instead of reassuring.
In spite of everything, they have become fine men, and I am very proud of them.
I haven’t included most of the bleak times. The greatest disappointments occurred with romantic relationships. My early abandon-ment and the sexual abuse certainly shaped my view of men and romantic love. My first marriage to my children’s father was a union of two people with opposite values and conflicting goals. He was the feisty marine, home from Korea. He seemed much older than the other boys and was obviously attractive to all the girls. At first I felt that I didn’t deserve his attention. Before and after we married, he spoke so scathingly of everything I did that I actually began to feel that I deserved his disdain.It was not a good feeling. He never expressed affection, but was crushing with his criticism. He withheld sex as a means of controlling me. When I finally sought to end the marriage, I was astonished to learn that he was devastated.
In the end, all that Dick and I had in common was our three sons. I will spare you the unhappy details of the breakup of the marriage. Suffice it to say that we were divorced in 1973.
By the time of the divorce, my life was wrapped up in my sons and my work at the plant. I had been hired for the production line and then (to Dick’s displeasure) was promoted to supervisor. I was the second woman at all the plants of the company to become a supervisor.
My second husband was Scott Skutt. That marriage was based on pure fantasy. The man I fell in love with did not exist. I thought that he was understanding and poetic. He was, in fact, very good looking, soft spoken, aware of world issues, and sensitive to people’s feelings. What I didn’t know when we married was that he was also homosexual and entirely conflicted about his sexuality.
I married Scott in 1975. Less than a year later, we were divorced, and I was saddled with a humongous debt on my credit card that Scott had incurred in extravagant gifts for me and my sons and the lavish entertainment of a homosexual lover.
The demise of this union shattered me. Not only hadI failed again, but my rival was
That first night, as I sat in my new home, I was more despairing than I had ever been in my life. But after making myself a cup of tea, I thought, “No, this is not where I belong. I can make a difference. I can make my life matter.”
I began to create a plan. First I looked at the positives. The exterior of the little house was attractive, and the great big yard was lovely. I would enjoy the yard and fix up the house. As to the rest of my life, I knew that I had to be patient. When my boys got a little older, I would go back to school. As I examined those things that had worked for me in the past, I knew that education was the key to getting ahead, that having fun and enjoying the now would sustain me, and that viewing the present living arrangement as a temporary growth opportunity would provide me with a positive perspective. Life would improve. I had already learned some of the techniques of reframing (which I’ll discuss at length later), so I knew how I could keep improving my performance at whatever I tried to do.
Our son David arrived when Rick was in his terrible two’s. Daniel was born eleven months after David, so I had three exceptionally lively little ones at home.
My brother, David, came to live with us when he turned fifteen.
Somewhere along the way, I quit ironing for pin money and got a job at the Betty Crocker Division of General Mills, Inc.
The best thing that Dick and I managed to do was to produce our three healthy sons. Some of my insecurities from my father’s desertion affected them much more than I realized. I never wanted them to think that I would leave them, and I said so often. I didn’t learn until they were grown that my words were frightening, instead of reassuring.
In spite of everything, they have become fine men, and I am very proud of them.
I haven’t included most of the bleak times. The greatest disappointments occurred with romantic relationships. My early abandon-ment and the sexual abuse certainly shaped my view of men and romantic love. My first marriage to my children’s father was a union of two people with opposite values and conflicting goals. He was the feisty marine, home from Korea. He seemed much older than the other boys and was obviously attractive to all the girls. At first I felt that I didn’t deserve his attention. Before and after we married, he spoke so scathingly of everything I did that I actually began to feel that I deserved his disdain.It was not a good feeling. He never expressed affection, but was crushing with his criticism. He withheld sex as a means of controlling me. When I finally sought to end the marriage, I was astonished to learn that he was devastated.
In the end, all that Dick and I had in common was our three sons. I will spare you the unhappy details of the breakup of the marriage. Suffice it to say that we were divorced in 1973.
By the time of the divorce, my life was wrapped up in my sons and my work at the plant. I had been hired for the production line and then (to Dick’s displeasure) was promoted to supervisor. I was the second woman at all the plants of the company to become a supervisor.
My second husband was Scott Skutt. That marriage was based on pure fantasy. The man I fell in love with did not exist. I thought that he was understanding and poetic. He was, in fact, very good looking, soft spoken, aware of world issues, and sensitive to people’s feelings. What I didn’t know when we married was that he was also homosexual and entirely conflicted about his sexuality.
I married Scott in 1975. Less than a year later, we were divorced, and I was saddled with a humongous debt on my credit card that Scott had incurred in extravagant gifts for me and my sons and the lavish entertainment of a homosexual lover.
The demise of this union shattered me. Not only hadI failed again, but my rival was
Similar Books
![Praetorian Series [3] A Hunter and His Legion](https://fs.dianahicksbooks.com/559646/thumbs/152x264/praetorian-series-3-a-hunter-and-his-legion.jpg)
