alongside him in the guest room. But still he had crept away from the dinner early, three glasses of wine and two rapidly quaffed beers under his belt behind the two whiskeys, and collapsed on the edge of the bumpy futon. He slept so heavily he did not even register her presence when she came in later, and in the morning he got up stealthily, leaving her fast asleep with her back turned to him. He rinsed his face, brushed his teeth with toothpaste on a finger, and kissed Casey’s forehead before he left, stopping at a gas station to chase three aspirin with a can of V8.
He was glad of the shock. He would not like to see Susan get comfortable with his gesture, adjust to it easily. He wanted her to recognize this as a private venture whose meaning was locked up to her and out of sight, a gesture belonging solely to him.
He drove home and packed a suitcase with a few changes of casual clothing, a shaving kit and some work boots. All he had for sneakers were worn-out Converse hightops, probably fifteen years old. He packed his passport, which he was relieved to see was still good, a phone card, a cheap camera. The dog regarded him patiently as he ordered the items in the case; he felt a stab of affection or regret, hard to say which.
But Susan would take good care of the dog, he did not need to worry. In fact the dog would probably be right here, watching calmly and every so often blinking, as she and her boyfriend thrashed and moaned on the bed.
Would the dog observe a moving tableau, slow and graceful with soft shadows and a gentle light—and therefore chilling to Hal if he saw it himself? With the dog as his proxy, would he have a connection to this? Or maybe the dog would see a labored, awkward contact, something Hal could watch with contempt or disgust, almost entirely unmoved. Would a dog perceive any difference?
Dogs had the habit of watching when you did it. Cats, not so much. Dogs were bigger perverts.
Foraging in the hall closet, he found outdoor supplies left over from camping trips taken in the seventies: a windbreaker, a small bottle of iodine, a safety blanket, a bandage and a lighter. Who knew where he would have to go? It could be anywhere. And he could buy what he needed when he knew what that was, but it pleased him to think he might have an urgent need for these simple objects—objects that in his house, in his disused closet, seemed both commonplace and completely irrelevant. It signaled the possibility of a great departure from his life’s routine.
After that he drank water and black coffee, popped some more aspirin, pet the dog on the head once or twice, heaved the suitcase into the back seat of the rental car and drove to work.
•
H e was standing over his deck, parceling out files into separate piles, when Rodriguez came in and asked him where he was going.
“It’s so sudden,” said Rodriguez. “Like, ¿qu é pasa, hombre? ”
“Family matter. Helping my wife with a problem,” said Hal.
“But like where you headed?”
“Central America. Her employer went down there and now no one can find him. I’m going down to see if I can suss out what happened.”
“Holy shit,” said Rodriguez.
“Yeah well,” said Hal, and picked up a pile. “Here you go. And this stack here is Linda’s. Can you ask her to come in and see me?”
“Oh, man. You gave me all the TDAs, didn’t you.”
“Do your worst.”
“Huh. Going down south , ” said Rodriguez, lingering. “You da man .”
“The man. Yes.”
“Palm trees, margaritas, all the sexy señoritas . . . you need a sidekick? Hey! I got vacation days coming too.”
“Thanks for the offer. Think I’ll try flying solo this time.”
“Send us a postcard, homes.”
“Will do.”
He called Casey to say goodbye. He would not talk to her about what he had overheard. She said again that she was glad he was going, that she admired him for following through on what was clearly an irrational impulse.
“I just wouldn’t have
He was glad of the shock. He would not like to see Susan get comfortable with his gesture, adjust to it easily. He wanted her to recognize this as a private venture whose meaning was locked up to her and out of sight, a gesture belonging solely to him.
He drove home and packed a suitcase with a few changes of casual clothing, a shaving kit and some work boots. All he had for sneakers were worn-out Converse hightops, probably fifteen years old. He packed his passport, which he was relieved to see was still good, a phone card, a cheap camera. The dog regarded him patiently as he ordered the items in the case; he felt a stab of affection or regret, hard to say which.
But Susan would take good care of the dog, he did not need to worry. In fact the dog would probably be right here, watching calmly and every so often blinking, as she and her boyfriend thrashed and moaned on the bed.
Would the dog observe a moving tableau, slow and graceful with soft shadows and a gentle light—and therefore chilling to Hal if he saw it himself? With the dog as his proxy, would he have a connection to this? Or maybe the dog would see a labored, awkward contact, something Hal could watch with contempt or disgust, almost entirely unmoved. Would a dog perceive any difference?
Dogs had the habit of watching when you did it. Cats, not so much. Dogs were bigger perverts.
Foraging in the hall closet, he found outdoor supplies left over from camping trips taken in the seventies: a windbreaker, a small bottle of iodine, a safety blanket, a bandage and a lighter. Who knew where he would have to go? It could be anywhere. And he could buy what he needed when he knew what that was, but it pleased him to think he might have an urgent need for these simple objects—objects that in his house, in his disused closet, seemed both commonplace and completely irrelevant. It signaled the possibility of a great departure from his life’s routine.
After that he drank water and black coffee, popped some more aspirin, pet the dog on the head once or twice, heaved the suitcase into the back seat of the rental car and drove to work.
•
H e was standing over his deck, parceling out files into separate piles, when Rodriguez came in and asked him where he was going.
“It’s so sudden,” said Rodriguez. “Like, ¿qu é pasa, hombre? ”
“Family matter. Helping my wife with a problem,” said Hal.
“But like where you headed?”
“Central America. Her employer went down there and now no one can find him. I’m going down to see if I can suss out what happened.”
“Holy shit,” said Rodriguez.
“Yeah well,” said Hal, and picked up a pile. “Here you go. And this stack here is Linda’s. Can you ask her to come in and see me?”
“Oh, man. You gave me all the TDAs, didn’t you.”
“Do your worst.”
“Huh. Going down south , ” said Rodriguez, lingering. “You da man .”
“The man. Yes.”
“Palm trees, margaritas, all the sexy señoritas . . . you need a sidekick? Hey! I got vacation days coming too.”
“Thanks for the offer. Think I’ll try flying solo this time.”
“Send us a postcard, homes.”
“Will do.”
He called Casey to say goodbye. He would not talk to her about what he had overheard. She said again that she was glad he was going, that she admired him for following through on what was clearly an irrational impulse.
“I just wouldn’t have
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