Read Online Get Even by Amanda Heath - Free Book Online Page B

next and I flip him over. I straddle his thighs and hold his wrists over his head. “How about I tie you up and ride you.” I swirl my hips against the erection tenting his slacks. “Ride you all night long.” I bend over and bring my face close to his, watching the way his green eyes flare with heat and his mouth tightens. “Without letting you come? Would you like that Tatum?”
    Instead of answering, he raises his face closer to mine and kisses me. It’s not soft, his kiss. I can count on four fingers how many times Tate has kissed me softly. My hands instantly let go of his wrists and bring them down to his short hair. The kiss might be hard, but he doesn’t use his tongue. I know him, better than he knows himself. He’d never have sex with me, not right after Sarah died. Hell, he could have stopped me from kicking him out earlier, the first time I did it, I took him by surprise because I’d never gotten that aggressive with him.
    He rolls me over, his lips leaving mine while his hands plant themselves next to my head on either side. “Just stop, Farah. Just stop.”
    I close my eyes and drop my hands. I can feel his eyes looking at me, feeling me out for any cracks. He’ll be looking for a way in, even if he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. “Get off me. Just…leave.”
    “No,” he growls and I feel his hands touch my face. “You’re hurting. You can’t even begin to understand how that makes me feel.” His nose swipes down my face, leaving a trail of wetness from the tears my eyes can’t keep in. “I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t here. I’m so sorry I left, baby.”
    I choke on the word, the endearment I haven’t heard since long before he left. I wrap my arms around his neck and push my face into his chest. No way do I forgive him. No way will I accept his apologies. But I will accept comfort from his arms because they are the last place I felt safe, other than Sarah’s.
    I fall asleep on his chest after his rolls onto his back, taking me with him.
     
    ***
     
    When I wake up he’s already awake and running his fingers through the ends of my hair. “Why did you come here last night?” I ask groggily.
    He stops playing with my hair once I speak. “I kept seeing your face when you came down those stairs yesterday. I knew it would gut me, seeing you again. But I didn’t expect that. I thought someone had ripped out my heart when I wasn’t looking.”
    I sit up, shrugging his arms away. “You should leave,” I tell him, no emotion whatsoever in my voice. I want him to leave. God, do I want him to leave.
    I don’t wait for an answer. I get off the bed and head for the door. “Farah,” he states. I freeze and let out a deep breath. Then I turn to face him. Seeing him in the daylight is worse. God he’s so fucking handsome. “Why don’t you just lay back down? Let’s talk about things.”
    I shake my head. “No. I’m done talking to you.” And I mean that. I didn’t even know I needed him last night until I was in his arms. I’m done with that though. I’m done being weak where he’s concerned. I went through enough the first time he left. I’d die if I got attached again and he left. I’m lonely enough without the ghost of him too.
    That’s one of the reasons I wish he would go. Sarah has been standing in the corner of my room since I opened my eyes. I don’t trust myself around other people right now. I’ll probably keep looking at her and someone will want to know what I’m looking at. Hell, I’ll probably end up talking to her at some point. Really don’t need anyone around for that.
    “Farah.” I’m getting real tired of him saying my name like that. Like I’m just supposed to do what he wants and pretend everything is okay. Well it’s not fucking okay, alright? “I don’t think you should be alone right now. I know Pops is here, but I don’t trust you to go hang out with him.”
    I raise both brows at that. Then I feel my anger taking over, replacing the