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Authors: Justin Robinson
Tags: Humor, Fiction, detective, thriller, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery, Murder, Noir, Occult, conspiracy
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buck.
    The bar was chintzy wood, scratched and dented, with red plastic seat covers on the stools. It was a dive that earned its status mostly honestly, and it was a good enough place to wait it out where the cops wouldn’t bother me. Sort of ironic considering who I’d called.
    Joel wasn’t a cop. She worked as a records keeper, keeping an eye on the LAPD for the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. She wasn’t what you’d call inconspicuous, but because of diversity requirements and the fact that she did her job well, she was practically impossible to fire. She was impossible to promote, too, but considering the Golden Dawn wanted her exactly where she was, that wasn’t a problem.
    We knew each other from way back and were pretty friendly. After one job where we had to stay up all night calling this one whistleblower every twenty minutes, she had come out to me. My response was something along the lines of, “Yeah, and...?” I came out that night as a Farscape fan, which actually is a lifestyle choice.
    Joel knew me as Jack Rizzo, a philosophy dropout whose choice of reading material had been deemed questionable by NYU. A seeker of truth, Rizzo had later been fired by the LA Times for a series of pieces on the mystical roots of Boy Scout merit badges. He was a man in need of direction, which the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn was only too happy to provide, in exchange for running some errands.
    I drank cheap whiskey and waited. Halfway into my first, I realized this thing was going to take longer than I wanted it to, so I made a phone call.
    “Blank Books,” Khaali said.
    “I really should have thought that name through. It’s Bob.”
    “Are you all right?”
    “I’m fine, but this is going to take a little longer than I thought. Could you do me a favor? I need you to feed my salamanders.”
    “Those horrible creatures?”
    “Yeah. There’s frozen bloodworms in the fridge. If you could just give them two cubes a day...”
    “Bloodworms?” She was horrified.
    “Yeah. Don’t worry, it’s mosquito larvae. You’re doing the world a favor.”
    “Okay. Where is your spare key?”
    “Look in the turtle out front. Thanks, Khaali. If I don’t see you, good luck on the exam.”
    “Thank you. I hope this turns out well.”
    “Me too.”
    I hung up the phone right as Joel came in out of the windy night, fixing her hair. I got up from the table, grinning. She’d finally done it. She was a little taller than me, with broad shoulders and big hands. The hormones and surgery had softened her face, and the modest skirt and blouse suited her. She looked comfortable for the first time since I’d known her.
    “Joel,” I said. She came over and hugged me. “You look fantastic.”
    “Actually, it’s Lara now,” she said.
    “Lara, you look fantastic.”
    She appraised me. “So you do, Jack. Apart from the nose.”
    “Actually, it’s Bob now,” I said.
    “When did that happen?” she asked, sitting down at the table and putting her briefcase on the chair next to her. She raised a hand to signal the waitress.
    “Turns out I had a more complicated professional life than I might have let on in our previous association.”
    She raised an eyebrow. The waitress stopped by our table and, without turning, Lara said, “Seven and seven. And get him another round on me.” When the waitress scampered off, Lara said, “More complicated, hmm? I go away for a little while, and when I come back, you’ve vanished. Word around the campfire is there was some big shit going down right around that time.”
    I nodded.
    The waitress was approaching the table, and though I was positive there was no way Lara could see the woman from her angle, she opened her purse, set a couple bills on the table, and kept talking. “And then you call me out of the clear blue asking for a couple files.”
    “Could you get them?”
    “Who are you asking?”
    “Right, sorry.”
    “What happened to you?” she asked, gesturing at the

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