Read Online Garth of Tregillis by Henrietta Reid - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Henrietta Reid
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wasn’t laboured and careful: rather it was an untidy scrawl that slanted wildly across the paper as though the writer were driven by overwhelming distress and somehow, as I held it in my hand, it was as though from that letter, written so long ago, emanated some of the emotion that had gripped its writer.
I felt my heart beat fast with excitement as I read, Darling, darling Garth, Oh, how can you be so cruel? You know so well that even a kind glance from you will make me happy for the day, yet lately you have been so cold and distant. You have eyes only for Armanell. Oh, I know she is very beautiful and compared to her I am just your silly, loving, mousy little cousin, but I do love you, Garth. Remember that! So much more than Armanell does or can. If I were older I could make you love me. I’d know how to. I realize that in your eyes I am gauche and awkward and a nuisance, but when you went riding with Armanell today I only wanted to follow on Toby. I shouldn’t have made up on you or anything, or made a nuisance of myself. Anyway, Toby is too fat to gallop. But to send me home was too unkind. You were so cross and disdainful and really I didn’t mean to spy. I just wanted to see you—to keep you in sight, even although you had eyes only for Armanell. I know I won’t sleep tonight, because I am too heartbroken. Why are you not kinder to me? I cannot help loving you: that is my great misfortune. Oh, I know people smile and say,
“She will grow out of it” because I am young, but I know in my heart I shall love you till the day I die. I know you are reading this book, because I have watched you leave it on your chair: so after dinner tonight when you come into the library you will find this letter. Do please smile at me tonight and I shall know that we are friends again.
Your heartbroken and loving
Little Diana.’
I let the sheet of paper flutter from my fingers. I felt utterly shattered. The emotion was so raw and revealing. It was such a mixture of childishness and pathos. ‘Toby is too fat to gallop’, and the poignancy of ‘I shall love you till the day I die’. And so she had! I realized that now. Was this the quiet, reserved Diana I had known, whose life had seemed like a tidy work-box, each article in its appointed place? How little I had known her! Or rather, how little she had allowed me to know her. She had been hiding her fierce love for her cousin Garth, as one keeps a shameful secret, her pride rebelling against making public the fact that her love was unrequited. At that moment I felt a fierce dislike well up for the man who had caused her such anguish.
I closed my eyes. I could almost picture the scene on the moor: the child trotting frantically after her handsome cousin and the beautiful Armanell, only to be summarily dismissed with contempt when Garth had detected her. No doubt his companion had been gratified, I decided, then realized that subconsciously, ever since I had heard of Armanell I had disliked and suspected her. But my feelings were vague and nebulous. They had nothing of the intensity of dislike I felt for Garth Seaton. Diana had been right in describing her love for him as a misfortune. To care for such a man would be a calamity. But Diana’s love had turned to hate—or had it? Was it never more perhaps than a fierce and overwhelming jealousy of Armanell, the girl, she had suspected, was to take over her old home as Garth’s bride? Had this been what had driven her to suspect Garth had contrived her father’s death?
I let the book slip from my fingers. I was confused and doubtful.
It was difficult to adjust myself to this new concept of Diana Seaton. It was as though this revelation had taken away the cornerstone of my confidence. I was no longer sure of anything.
CHAPTER FOUR
I GAVE a start as the door opened suddenly and Mrs. Kinnefer bustled into the room. She appeared to be in what for her was a state of agitation. Her face was pink and her manner extremely formal.
I felt my heart beat fast with excitement as I read, Darling, darling Garth, Oh, how can you be so cruel? You know so well that even a kind glance from you will make me happy for the day, yet lately you have been so cold and distant. You have eyes only for Armanell. Oh, I know she is very beautiful and compared to her I am just your silly, loving, mousy little cousin, but I do love you, Garth. Remember that! So much more than Armanell does or can. If I were older I could make you love me. I’d know how to. I realize that in your eyes I am gauche and awkward and a nuisance, but when you went riding with Armanell today I only wanted to follow on Toby. I shouldn’t have made up on you or anything, or made a nuisance of myself. Anyway, Toby is too fat to gallop. But to send me home was too unkind. You were so cross and disdainful and really I didn’t mean to spy. I just wanted to see you—to keep you in sight, even although you had eyes only for Armanell. I know I won’t sleep tonight, because I am too heartbroken. Why are you not kinder to me? I cannot help loving you: that is my great misfortune. Oh, I know people smile and say,
“She will grow out of it” because I am young, but I know in my heart I shall love you till the day I die. I know you are reading this book, because I have watched you leave it on your chair: so after dinner tonight when you come into the library you will find this letter. Do please smile at me tonight and I shall know that we are friends again.
Your heartbroken and loving
Little Diana.’
I let the sheet of paper flutter from my fingers. I felt utterly shattered. The emotion was so raw and revealing. It was such a mixture of childishness and pathos. ‘Toby is too fat to gallop’, and the poignancy of ‘I shall love you till the day I die’. And so she had! I realized that now. Was this the quiet, reserved Diana I had known, whose life had seemed like a tidy work-box, each article in its appointed place? How little I had known her! Or rather, how little she had allowed me to know her. She had been hiding her fierce love for her cousin Garth, as one keeps a shameful secret, her pride rebelling against making public the fact that her love was unrequited. At that moment I felt a fierce dislike well up for the man who had caused her such anguish.
I closed my eyes. I could almost picture the scene on the moor: the child trotting frantically after her handsome cousin and the beautiful Armanell, only to be summarily dismissed with contempt when Garth had detected her. No doubt his companion had been gratified, I decided, then realized that subconsciously, ever since I had heard of Armanell I had disliked and suspected her. But my feelings were vague and nebulous. They had nothing of the intensity of dislike I felt for Garth Seaton. Diana had been right in describing her love for him as a misfortune. To care for such a man would be a calamity. But Diana’s love had turned to hate—or had it? Was it never more perhaps than a fierce and overwhelming jealousy of Armanell, the girl, she had suspected, was to take over her old home as Garth’s bride? Had this been what had driven her to suspect Garth had contrived her father’s death?
I let the book slip from my fingers. I was confused and doubtful.
It was difficult to adjust myself to this new concept of Diana Seaton. It was as though this revelation had taken away the cornerstone of my confidence. I was no longer sure of anything.
CHAPTER FOUR
I GAVE a start as the door opened suddenly and Mrs. Kinnefer bustled into the room. She appeared to be in what for her was a state of agitation. Her face was pink and her manner extremely formal.
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