Read Online From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun by Jacqueline Woodson - Free Book Online Page A

rehearsed because it was. I had dreamed this moment a million times and now here it was. And she was calling me. Maybe that made me lame, though, ’cause I should have been the man about it.
    Angie laughed nervously.
    Breathe, Mel. Start all over. “So what’s up?” “Nothing,” Angie said. “I was just calling to say hey.” We were silent for a few moments. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Stupid.
    â€œOh, well,” Angie said. “I just wanted to say hello. It’s hard to talk to you in person since you’re always with your friends.”
    â€œSometimes I’m not.”
    â€œLike when?”
    I thought for a moment. “When I’m in the house.”
    I looked out the kitchen window. It was cloudy again. Would Angie run screaming from here if she knew about Mama? Would she ever speak to me again? What was the use of even talking to her, I wondered, if the minute she found out, she wouldn’t even pick up the phone to dial my number?
    â€œWhat are you doing?” Angie asked.
    â€œNothing.” Breathe, Mel. Breathe. “Collecting stamps and stuff . . . of endangered species. I’m holding one of a corroboree.” Stupid, stupid me.
    â€œS’cuse me?”
    â€œCorroboree, bufo bufo, golden toad . . .”
    â€œYou sound like a crazy person.”
    I smiled, embarrassed. She had a nice voice. “Frogs. I know you probably don’t think of them as animals. . . .”
    â€œThey’re amphibians.”
    â€œThey’re vanishing,” I said.
    â€œOh.” The line grew silent again. I wondered if Angie was thinking I was crazy. I didn’t care. If she didn’t like the way I thought about things, she didn’t have to call anymore. The heck with her. The heck with everyone.
    â€œI like all the insects and animals and amphibians that are almost extinct or already extinct,” I said, kind of giving up on everything.
    â€œOh,” Angie said again. This time it was a different “oh,” like maybe she understood a little better. “Save the world stuff.”
    I swallowed. What would you say, Angie? Tell me what you’d say if you knew. “Not saving it,” I said, twisting the phone cord around my thumb. “I don’t think anybody can do that ’cause it’s already over the edge.”
    â€œYeah,” Angie said. “Isn’t that messed up?”
    We talked for a while longer but it was hard to think of anything except Angie finding out about Mama.
    â€œWe should hang out sometimes,” Angie said.
    â€œYeah,” I said. “I was gonna call you. Ask you if you wanted to hang out.”
    â€œYeah?” Angie said. “That’d be cool.”
    After we hung up, I went back into my room and raised the window. It was gray out now, and quiet. Sitting down on the window ledge, I looked up at the cloudy sky. The amphibians are vanishing, I kept thinking. Angie. Angie. Angie. I felt like throwing up. I wanted to kiss her. What would it feel like? What would I feel like? Would we fall in love? Maybe. Maybe it could happen.
    â€œAre you ever going to let me read anything in those notebooks?” Mama had asked. And I should have said, No! Maybe, Hell, no! I should have said, These are the only things I have that are mine, all mine. The only things I have that won’t mess my life up by being gay. The only things that won’t stop calling me if they find out.
    Angie. Angie. Angie. I didn’t want to hope too much. She was going to find out some way sooner or later. But she had called me. And she hadn’t laughed when I told her about the amphibians. Maybe, I couldn’t help thinking. Maybe.
    Â 
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    I picked up the phone and dialed. She answered after the first ring.
    â€œAngie,” I said. “Maybe we could hang out now.”

Chapter Fourteen
    It was raining again and cold , so the park was empty. Angie pulled her jacket