Read Online From The Moment I Saw Him .... by Catherine MacDonald - Free Book Online Page B

announced with glee.
    She was quite open about the fact that they planned
to sleep together just as soon as she could get the college doctor to prescribe
her the pill.
    “I’m going to say that my periods are horrendous, and go on for days .  It’s the best way of getting a prescription. 
No need to get into embarrassing conversations about contraception,” she
informed us.
      Emily had few illusions about the opposite sex,
probably because she had three older brothers.  I was envious.  I might not
have got into such a mess with Nick if I had been less ignorant about boys.
    “I want to lose my virginity as soon as possible,
now I’m here,” Emily announced.
     She was quite matter of fact about it.  It seemed
an incongruous statement from someone wearing teddy bear pyjamas, and we
couldn’t help laughing.
    “My friend Poppy lost hers last term, and she said
it was wonderful.  No one cares nowadays if you have sex before marriage, and
now there’s the pill, we don’t have to worry about getting pregnant any more. 
We’re so lucky, really.”  She twirled her auburn locks with enthusiasm.
    Then they turned curious eyes on me.
    “What about you Eithne?  Have you done it with
anyone yet?”
    I shook my head, blushing.
    “I did get involved with......with a special boy
this year,” I admitted.  “However, it’s all over now.”
    It was an effort to keep my tone light, but I didn’t
want to give myself away.
    “Poor Eithne.  Never mind, you won’t have
trouble finding someone new.”
     My consolation prize was that I seemed to have
become better looking in the past few months.  I had lost a lot of weight
during my sorrow over Nick, and my figure was now very slender.  My face had
cheekbones which had previously been concealed under the last vestiges of puppy
fat, and the fashionable hairstyle caused a lot of comment as well.
    I found I was regarded as “one of the pretty ones,”
and of course, that gave my ego a tremendous boost.
    I still mourned Nick in my heart.  There were nights
when I cried myself to sleep, but they were getting fewer.  Occasionally, when
I was walking between lectures or meeting friends in town, I would catch a
glimpse of some slim, dark boy, and my heart would turn over, but I never saw
him, and he made no attempt to see me.  It looked as though that part of my
life was over for good.
    We started going to parties, and I found that I was
not short of admirers.  But that revealed another problem, one which was to
persist for months.
    I was happy to meet and go out with men in a
friendly way, and after a while, I found I got rather good at flirting.  Because
I was not desperate to get off with them, and because of my looks, I became
sought after, and this was surprising and pleasing.  Some of Nick’s expertise
had obviously rubbed off on me.  But any depth of physical contact was
impossible.  I simply did not want to go further than a few kisses.
    “Why will you only let Julian kiss you good night?” 
Emily asked me one day.
    Julian was a friend of William’s, tall and athletic,
a bit like Teddy Clifford, and he was considered to be quite a catch.  He had
been surprised and displeased when I rejected his attempts to entice me into
his bedroom the week before.
    “He told William that he thinks you’re either
frigid, or a secret lesbian.”
    We were curled up with our midnight cocoa after a
Saturday night “do” in the Junior Common Room, or JCR, at Trinity College.  (This
was the large meeting room, where undergraduates went to relax and enjoy the
social side of university life.) 
    I felt annoyed by this presumptuous analysis.
    “What a cheek.  It’s up to me who I want to kiss,” I
said, stalling.
    “Yes, but you don’t seem to want to get close to anyone,” said blunt Emily.  “Don’t you want a physical relationship?”
    Of course I did - but not with just anybody.  I had
a sudden, searing memory of Nick’s embrace, and burst into stormy