back to see her had been wrong and stupid; it had been the only time in his life when he had ever told someone what they wanted to hear. For his own reasons he had stayed away, reminding himself that she had Roland and Leah. She wouldn’t be alone, wouldn’t have to know what ‘alone’ felt like.
He left the cockpit and removed his helmet. Circling his head on his shoulders, he groaned. His Saturdays were usually spent on his aerobic conditioning. His physical fitness was imperative; only during a marathon did a person’s heart rate go high for such a long time. Normally on Saturdays he would either go swimming or running or cycling. But today he had needed greater speeds. Speed was his tonic. Always had been. When he was driving at 200mph and hitting forces of more than 5G, he actually felt at peace. Because they were the moments when he actually felt in control of his life. Even cramped, boiling hot, having his movements constricted by straps around the crotch and chest while his heartbeat reached about 170 per hour and his blood pressure could increase up to 50%, Connor never experienced a more undiluted sense of freedom.
Also, with his concentration solely on steering the race car, all his senses at their peak alertness, that was a time when Connor could totally and utterly shove all other thoughts away. Even Jaxx. But only for a short while, it turned out. His mind was now again hooked on trying to work out her sudden indifference to him. And he was pissed off no end.
Maybe he should just let it go and continue to stay away. It was obviously what she wanted. Maybe he should just be content enough with knowing that she was doing well, that she was happy. What else was there to know anyway?
Fuck. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do that, just as he knew deep down that it was reasons other than curiosity that made him want to see her. If he didn’t have to go to the charity event later tonight, he might have found himself hunting her down to demand to know what her problem was. He would give her until the morning; if she still hadn’t responded to his message by then she would find that the next one wasn’t so friendly.
It was as Jaxxon hopped into the long, white limo that she realised why Ollie had caved so easily about her taking Anna as her guest to the event. Sitting there looking equally surprised were Bruno and Chris, both looking very smart and appealing, and yet her body was not at all interested. She was concerned that she might be turning into a eunuch.
“Oh my God,” gasped Anna, surprised but delighted. “You never said we were going out as a foursome.” She gave the Latino looking Chris her best flirtatious smile.
“I take it this is Ollie’s doing,” said Bruno, grinning and running his hand through the sandy hair that tickled his cheekbones. Shame it hadn’t been Jaxxon’s doing, he thought.
Jaxxon sighed. “Apparently he didn’t like that we hadn’t all paired up so decided to take matters into his own hands. Crafty sod.”
“Do we tell the driver to stop?” asked Chris, wondering whether Jaxxon would be annoyed enough to chuck him out if he didn’t offer in advance.
She thought about it for a moment. “I say we just forget about pleasing everyone else and sweating about what the tabloids might print and just go there as the mates that we are.”
“I’d go for that,” said Bruno. As much as he would have liked there to have been more between him and Jaxxon – who wouldn’t? – he’d heard her tell Anna often enough that she wasn’t interested in getting involved with anyone just yet. He understood. She needed time to get her head around all the changes that were suddenly happening in her life.
“Same here,” said Chris. He noticed the hurt on Anna’s face. “You should probably know that I’m gay.”
Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Wow, really?”
Bruno saw that Jaxxon and Anna were now giving him an odd look which he easily
He left the cockpit and removed his helmet. Circling his head on his shoulders, he groaned. His Saturdays were usually spent on his aerobic conditioning. His physical fitness was imperative; only during a marathon did a person’s heart rate go high for such a long time. Normally on Saturdays he would either go swimming or running or cycling. But today he had needed greater speeds. Speed was his tonic. Always had been. When he was driving at 200mph and hitting forces of more than 5G, he actually felt at peace. Because they were the moments when he actually felt in control of his life. Even cramped, boiling hot, having his movements constricted by straps around the crotch and chest while his heartbeat reached about 170 per hour and his blood pressure could increase up to 50%, Connor never experienced a more undiluted sense of freedom.
Also, with his concentration solely on steering the race car, all his senses at their peak alertness, that was a time when Connor could totally and utterly shove all other thoughts away. Even Jaxx. But only for a short while, it turned out. His mind was now again hooked on trying to work out her sudden indifference to him. And he was pissed off no end.
Maybe he should just let it go and continue to stay away. It was obviously what she wanted. Maybe he should just be content enough with knowing that she was doing well, that she was happy. What else was there to know anyway?
Fuck. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do that, just as he knew deep down that it was reasons other than curiosity that made him want to see her. If he didn’t have to go to the charity event later tonight, he might have found himself hunting her down to demand to know what her problem was. He would give her until the morning; if she still hadn’t responded to his message by then she would find that the next one wasn’t so friendly.
It was as Jaxxon hopped into the long, white limo that she realised why Ollie had caved so easily about her taking Anna as her guest to the event. Sitting there looking equally surprised were Bruno and Chris, both looking very smart and appealing, and yet her body was not at all interested. She was concerned that she might be turning into a eunuch.
“Oh my God,” gasped Anna, surprised but delighted. “You never said we were going out as a foursome.” She gave the Latino looking Chris her best flirtatious smile.
“I take it this is Ollie’s doing,” said Bruno, grinning and running his hand through the sandy hair that tickled his cheekbones. Shame it hadn’t been Jaxxon’s doing, he thought.
Jaxxon sighed. “Apparently he didn’t like that we hadn’t all paired up so decided to take matters into his own hands. Crafty sod.”
“Do we tell the driver to stop?” asked Chris, wondering whether Jaxxon would be annoyed enough to chuck him out if he didn’t offer in advance.
She thought about it for a moment. “I say we just forget about pleasing everyone else and sweating about what the tabloids might print and just go there as the mates that we are.”
“I’d go for that,” said Bruno. As much as he would have liked there to have been more between him and Jaxxon – who wouldn’t? – he’d heard her tell Anna often enough that she wasn’t interested in getting involved with anyone just yet. He understood. She needed time to get her head around all the changes that were suddenly happening in her life.
“Same here,” said Chris. He noticed the hurt on Anna’s face. “You should probably know that I’m gay.”
Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Wow, really?”
Bruno saw that Jaxxon and Anna were now giving him an odd look which he easily
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