Read Online Free-Falling by Nicola Moriarty - Free Book Online Page B

You’re no more likely than I am to have a multiple birth. Can I possibly have my hand back, dear?’
    Belinda let her go and relaxed again, feeling more than a little embarrassed. The doctor placed the probe on her stomach and began to slide it around, pressing down quite firmly. A grainy image appeared on the screen. Belinda was peering at it, trying to make it out when Doctor Vashna abruptly stopped moving her hand.
    â€˜Oh.’
    â€˜What is it? What’s wrong?’ Belinda’s heart started to beat faster. There’s something wrong with it. I’ve stuffed this up by pretending it wasn’t there.
    â€˜Nothing is wrong as such. In fact, this is really quite uncanny!’
    â€˜What do you mean?’
    â€˜Well, Belinda, are there any twins on your side of the family?’

    After her first obstetrician visit, Belinda found herself spending more and more time at the gym. She had been assured that exercise was still allowed, but had been told not to overdo it, or to let herself overheat. Doctor Vashna had also wanted to send her to a psychologist to discuss the period of pregnancy denial she had experienced, but Belinda had promised her that she was feeling much better about it all – even with the shock of discovering she was pregnant with twins. Twins!
    Late one evening, after a long day at uni, she dragged herself into the gym, feeling tired and irritable. She really would have preferred a nap on the couch. It was the last week of study before exams started and her lecturers were filling her head with revision-info overload. Jules had been sitting next to her in the last tutorial of the day and had sent a message to her Facebook page from her iPhone.

    Belinda had frowned with irritation. Apparently Jules washaving trouble accepting the news of her pregnancy and understanding what that meant for her social life.
    Now that Belinda was at the gym, though, she tried to put thoughts of Jules and the others enjoying their cocktails out of her mind. She stepped onto the treadmill, adjusted the settings and started off with a slow walk. As she walked she chanted in her head: April 27, April 27, April 27. This was the date when her life was going to be changed beyond recognition. The date her twin babies were due. She was fifteen weeks’ pregnant and already starting to show a little. Oh, all right, already starting to show quite a lot really. No more blaming that tummy on all the late-night ice-cream , she thought somewhat bitterly. The knowledge that she had been pregnant way back before Andy had died seemed to alter her memories of the last couple of weeks with him. Now she pictured a tiny little presence alongside them as they went about their lives. Make that two tiny little presences.
    As she walked a little faster and pictured her and Andy doing the normal, everyday things – watching TV together, going out for drinks with their friends, playing Andy’s crazy soccer games – she began to feel anger rising up from deep in her gut. Anger with herself: now that she knew she was pregnant, it seemed so ridiculous that she hadn’t figured it out sooner – before Andy had been erased from her life. It wasn’t right, for him to be gone and not even know what he was missing out on. It wasn’t fair.
    She notched up the speed and felt angry with him. Why had he let this happen? He should have been more careful; he should have fought harder for his life. What if he had known? If she had been just a little smarter and had realised sooner, had told him the news – would that have given him the reason he needed? The strength to find a way to stay alive?
    Her walk became a jog. She pounded her feet in time to thebass of the dance music that was pumping through the gym.
    So you knocked me up.
    With TWINS.
    And now you’re gone.
    And you don’t even know about any of this.
    And I didn’t get to say goodbye.
    She could feel herself about to lose it, eyes