Read Online Frank Sinatra in a Blender by Matthew McBride - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Matthew McBride
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and healthcare. Sid asked No Nuts where he stood on abortion.
“It’s a woman’s choice,” he said firmly.
Sid nodded. “Agreed. But, what about the baby, Johnny? Dontchya think that little bastard’d like to make up his own bloody mind before his whore of a mum goes and aborts him?”
“I thought you just said it was her choice?”
Sid raised his right palm, gave half a shrug. “I’m just sayin’, Johhny.”
No Nuts let that sit, but not for long. “So, you’re sayin’ if this broad your seein’ got knocked up you’d let her keep it?”
“I don’t have a broad n’more, Johnny. We split up, remember?”
Sid missed the point entirely.
“Yeah, but what I’m sayin’ is, if you still had some gal, and you knocked her up, would you tell her to get an abortion or let her keep it?”
“Oh, will you come on now, Johnny? We just chopped a man’s bloody feet off, that’s no kind of example to be settin’ now is it?”
No Nuts looked out the window, tired of Sid pissing him off.
Sid looked over and smirked, said, “Besides, No Nuts, I got meself snipped a while back.” Sid held up two fingers and made scissors. No Nuts held up one finger and told Sid to go fuck himself.
Their last stop was an access on the Meramec River in Fenton, just below the old Chrysler plant.
No Nuts told Sid, “I knew this guy, this bodybuilder, used to work at Chrysler.”
Sid nodded, urged him to continue. “They built minivans, right? Well, I used to front him money for this thing he had goin’ on. It was a helluva thing. They knew how them minivans went together, so they’d drive down to Mexico to buy steroids and sneak ‘em back across the border inside these vans. Once they got home to Missouri, they’d go back to work, filling the interior body panels with steroids then shipping the vans off.”
Sid was genuinely impressed at the blue-collar ingenuity of the autoworkers. “So where’d they send the gear to?”
“You know, different dealerships and shit. They hauled ‘em on these transports; they’d know all the destinations before hand. They tracked it all on computers and GPS. They kept it tight, only a few guys knew about it.”
“That’s pretty fucking spectacular, I’ll say. How’d these blokes ever come up with such a thing?”
“Completely by accident.”
Sid walked to the edge of the broken concrete slab and tossed an arm out into the river by the elbow.
“Go on, Johnny. How’d those cheeky bastards get a thing like this together?”
“That’s what I asked my buddy. He said they met online, some bodybuilding site. One thing led to another, guess they started talkin’, realized what they all done for a living. One guy worked at a dealership in Indiana, he knew a guy at a dealership in Virginia. Like social networking for drugs.”
“But how’d they get the roids out of the vans?”
“That’s the beauty of it Sid. These guys at the dealerships who were in on it’d take the vans apart soon as they got off the truck, then dole out the juice to their people. Then that guy’d take the ‘roids to a gym, distribute to all the gym rats. Then BOOM, everybody buys’uh couple bottles, they sell’uh couple bottles, before long it spreads out like birdshot.”
Sid told Johnny that was a hell of an idea. He asked him what happened to the plant?
“Greedy corporate cocksuckers. They run that place into the fuckin’ ground.” No Nuts spit a wad of solid yellow into a patch of mud as he walked to the very last speck of shore.
“Go on, punt it out there, Johnny.”
No Nuts screwed his face down tight and pushed wrinkles together on his forehead. He lowered Telly’s head out in front of him and dropkicked it. The wind took it and the head traveled high into the dead black air. They never heard it hit the water.
Sid and No Nuts walked back to the Lexus as the snow began to fall and pelted Sid’s face. They got inside the neckline of his jacket and melted.
As they left the access
“It’s a woman’s choice,” he said firmly.
Sid nodded. “Agreed. But, what about the baby, Johnny? Dontchya think that little bastard’d like to make up his own bloody mind before his whore of a mum goes and aborts him?”
“I thought you just said it was her choice?”
Sid raised his right palm, gave half a shrug. “I’m just sayin’, Johhny.”
No Nuts let that sit, but not for long. “So, you’re sayin’ if this broad your seein’ got knocked up you’d let her keep it?”
“I don’t have a broad n’more, Johnny. We split up, remember?”
Sid missed the point entirely.
“Yeah, but what I’m sayin’ is, if you still had some gal, and you knocked her up, would you tell her to get an abortion or let her keep it?”
“Oh, will you come on now, Johnny? We just chopped a man’s bloody feet off, that’s no kind of example to be settin’ now is it?”
No Nuts looked out the window, tired of Sid pissing him off.
Sid looked over and smirked, said, “Besides, No Nuts, I got meself snipped a while back.” Sid held up two fingers and made scissors. No Nuts held up one finger and told Sid to go fuck himself.
Their last stop was an access on the Meramec River in Fenton, just below the old Chrysler plant.
No Nuts told Sid, “I knew this guy, this bodybuilder, used to work at Chrysler.”
Sid nodded, urged him to continue. “They built minivans, right? Well, I used to front him money for this thing he had goin’ on. It was a helluva thing. They knew how them minivans went together, so they’d drive down to Mexico to buy steroids and sneak ‘em back across the border inside these vans. Once they got home to Missouri, they’d go back to work, filling the interior body panels with steroids then shipping the vans off.”
Sid was genuinely impressed at the blue-collar ingenuity of the autoworkers. “So where’d they send the gear to?”
“You know, different dealerships and shit. They hauled ‘em on these transports; they’d know all the destinations before hand. They tracked it all on computers and GPS. They kept it tight, only a few guys knew about it.”
“That’s pretty fucking spectacular, I’ll say. How’d these blokes ever come up with such a thing?”
“Completely by accident.”
Sid walked to the edge of the broken concrete slab and tossed an arm out into the river by the elbow.
“Go on, Johnny. How’d those cheeky bastards get a thing like this together?”
“That’s what I asked my buddy. He said they met online, some bodybuilding site. One thing led to another, guess they started talkin’, realized what they all done for a living. One guy worked at a dealership in Indiana, he knew a guy at a dealership in Virginia. Like social networking for drugs.”
“But how’d they get the roids out of the vans?”
“That’s the beauty of it Sid. These guys at the dealerships who were in on it’d take the vans apart soon as they got off the truck, then dole out the juice to their people. Then that guy’d take the ‘roids to a gym, distribute to all the gym rats. Then BOOM, everybody buys’uh couple bottles, they sell’uh couple bottles, before long it spreads out like birdshot.”
Sid told Johnny that was a hell of an idea. He asked him what happened to the plant?
“Greedy corporate cocksuckers. They run that place into the fuckin’ ground.” No Nuts spit a wad of solid yellow into a patch of mud as he walked to the very last speck of shore.
“Go on, punt it out there, Johnny.”
No Nuts screwed his face down tight and pushed wrinkles together on his forehead. He lowered Telly’s head out in front of him and dropkicked it. The wind took it and the head traveled high into the dead black air. They never heard it hit the water.
Sid and No Nuts walked back to the Lexus as the snow began to fall and pelted Sid’s face. They got inside the neckline of his jacket and melted.
As they left the access
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