what to expect from her. Amanda is so head strong and unpredictable. One minute she’s all over me giving me parts of her body that I didn’t think she would offer, and the next, she’s walking away from me because she can’t handle my past. I tell myself it’s because she’s a teenager. Nineteen doesn’t make a woman when you realize that yesterday she was just sixteen, and then eighteen with her wild hair and beautiful brown face. I remember when she made eighteen. I had come in from Hong Kong and brought her some tailored robes, the ones she wears now with me. Even then I wanted her. It was the time when Alecia had gone to Europe with friends and Amanda was home sitting alone in our vast dining room where we held dinner parties. Standing in the doorway gazing at her, with her beautiful long dark hair that fell in ringlets of curls down her back, that day she wore her hair in a large Afro covering most of her small delicate face. My breathing and heart quickened as I stood gazing at her, not believing my eyes. Not believing how lucky I was to have her in my life. She made me happy when she was a girl and now I desire her in a sexual way as she grows older. Afraid that it was only my desire of her, I put away my thoughts and walked into the dining room and stood across from her. Her brown eyes shot up and her expression changed from sadness to one of joy. We made each other happy. I felt it and she felt it. “Can I join you?” “Oh, Mr. Cross, I’m so glad you’ve come home. I miss you.” I sat across from her and her expressive light brown eyes filled me with love and devotion. I was now devoted to Amanda in all that I do. I no longer wanted the sexual experience I had with Alecia, not the way we had before. I tried to have missionary sex with her, but she insisted that what I needed was what we had been doing before. Tying her up and taking her from behind. This ended the day I sat down with Amanda and discovered that she was all I wanted and that I wanted to make her mine, forever. As my thoughts wavered, my chef brought out my food and we sat across from each other and smiling and eating. “Can I tuck you in bed as I did when you were a child?” I asked her after the plates were cleared away. “But Mr. Cross, I’m not a child anymore.” I knew at that time she was telling me something. “But if it makes you feel better you can think of me as your little girl.” She locked eyes with me. “If you want, we can watch television together,” she said to me. “I want. I want that more than anything.” She observed me as we walked to the family room. “Do you play video games?” “Yes. When I’m away to keep the boredom away, I get on there with some friends I’ve met from different countries, and we spend hours in the evenings just playing.” “Then we can play tonight and tomorrow.” “Not tomorrow. I leave for France tomorrow.” “So soon?” I heard the disappointment in her voice, but not half as disappointed as I felt. “I’m Afraid so.” I wanted to stay there with Amanda, with Alecia gone, take Amanda in my arms and make love to her. I dreamed of being between her legs with me satisfying her. At the time I thought it would only be fantasy, and that she didn’t want me the way I wanted her. But what came next surprised me, and I had put it out of my thoughts until now. Amanda and I walked into the family room and before I turned on the television she said, “You can’t tuck me into bed. What will the servants think?” “The servants have left for the night.” “Oh,” she said. “I guess I can sit on your lap like we used to do. If that will make you feel better. I know you need a hug. It must be awful to come home and there is no one to greet you but me.” “No, that’s not awful as long as I have you. You see Amanda, I don’t have children and I don’t think Alecia wants children. So I look at you as my daughter.” “I want to be more than just a