Read Online For Those Who Hunt the Wounded Down by David Adams Richards - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: David Adams Richards
Ads: Link
boy felt uneasy lying there in his bunk safe and warm, and he felt that Jerry Bines was outside of life.
When he asked about this now the man told him that no one was outside of life.
“Some people just have more of a chance than others, and some just have to take the chances that they have. I know a lot of people who were more unfortunate than Jerry Bines, who turned out much better –”
The day was warm and filled with new life, and it was only June, which meant he had the whole summer to go.
6
When Bines went to Vera’s house he often stared at the little girl with her curly hair as if he was questioning something. He would smile at Hadley, take a quarter out of his pocket, and flip it along the back of his hand, controlling it magically along the top of his knuckles. Then he would pretend to hide it behind his head and find it in her ear.
This act of the quarter along his knuckle brought laughter into the house.
What he was questioning he wasn’t sure about. But it had something to do with Hadley’s empty world. This is what he came to think of as he did these tricks for her, and made her and Vera laugh. It didn’t matter usuallywhat type of world other people had. But he thought Vera was a very unhappy person, and that this showed in the little girl’s sudden tantrums, and most of all in the drawings she brought from school. It was a world that had nothing because Vera was too conscientious to be a consumer. What people took for granted in their homes, Vera herself agonized over buying. So there was no cable TV , no VCR , and in the end no happiness either. And all of this was considered diligent, and practical.
In the kind of world Vera had constructed – the kind of statistical world – there were concepts Bines thought were false.
He had no notion why these things bothered him, but the air was cool and winter was coming, and Vera’s questions were now more and more personal.
She asked questions that should not be asked. And he did not know why he had agreed to all of this. (He had agreed perhaps because he thought he would become famous.)
“How often did your father beat you? Can this be attributable to your fear of men – I mean did it engender a sense of powerlessness? And did you beat your boy?”
He did not know how to answer this and smiled.
“I assume you know your problem is you fear men – this is the constant in male violence.”
But Bines said nothing. He shrugged and looked at her a second, so that she looked away quickly.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
And she actually did seem to be sorry. He smiled.
“It don’t matter – don’t matter,” he said. He scratched his ear. “Don’t know – don’t know – the old lad hit me when he was drunk –”
All of these questions bothered him, and yet still he cared for her.
“Nevin hits children. I know he hit Hadley once.” She whispered this.
“I don’t want to know,” he said. And he stood up. “Don’t want to know.”
“Oh,” she said.
He felt strangely disheartened that she would say this about his son – as if nothing he said seemed to get through to her, and he resolved to introduce his son to them at the earliest opportunity.
“That’ll straighten things out,” he thought as he left the house.
By now he knew very well that she was using him. He did not know why. But he was too smart not to know. Perhaps to get back at Nevin – perhaps to prove to her friends how wild she was – or how bored she was – perhaps to become famous herself.
Whatever it was she was using him.
He moved the quarter along his hand, and flipped it with his thumb, unseen, into the air.
The man told this story:
Jerry had never known truth, but he had conceived ithimself like some great men conceive of truth and chisel it into the world. And it was his and no one else’s.
He was like some great soul cast out and trying to find shelter in the storm.
His mother used to sing to him. He had never admitted he was afraid. He
When he asked about this now the man told him that no one was outside of life.
“Some people just have more of a chance than others, and some just have to take the chances that they have. I know a lot of people who were more unfortunate than Jerry Bines, who turned out much better –”
The day was warm and filled with new life, and it was only June, which meant he had the whole summer to go.
6
When Bines went to Vera’s house he often stared at the little girl with her curly hair as if he was questioning something. He would smile at Hadley, take a quarter out of his pocket, and flip it along the back of his hand, controlling it magically along the top of his knuckles. Then he would pretend to hide it behind his head and find it in her ear.
This act of the quarter along his knuckle brought laughter into the house.
What he was questioning he wasn’t sure about. But it had something to do with Hadley’s empty world. This is what he came to think of as he did these tricks for her, and made her and Vera laugh. It didn’t matter usuallywhat type of world other people had. But he thought Vera was a very unhappy person, and that this showed in the little girl’s sudden tantrums, and most of all in the drawings she brought from school. It was a world that had nothing because Vera was too conscientious to be a consumer. What people took for granted in their homes, Vera herself agonized over buying. So there was no cable TV , no VCR , and in the end no happiness either. And all of this was considered diligent, and practical.
In the kind of world Vera had constructed – the kind of statistical world – there were concepts Bines thought were false.
He had no notion why these things bothered him, but the air was cool and winter was coming, and Vera’s questions were now more and more personal.
She asked questions that should not be asked. And he did not know why he had agreed to all of this. (He had agreed perhaps because he thought he would become famous.)
“How often did your father beat you? Can this be attributable to your fear of men – I mean did it engender a sense of powerlessness? And did you beat your boy?”
He did not know how to answer this and smiled.
“I assume you know your problem is you fear men – this is the constant in male violence.”
But Bines said nothing. He shrugged and looked at her a second, so that she looked away quickly.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
And she actually did seem to be sorry. He smiled.
“It don’t matter – don’t matter,” he said. He scratched his ear. “Don’t know – don’t know – the old lad hit me when he was drunk –”
All of these questions bothered him, and yet still he cared for her.
“Nevin hits children. I know he hit Hadley once.” She whispered this.
“I don’t want to know,” he said. And he stood up. “Don’t want to know.”
“Oh,” she said.
He felt strangely disheartened that she would say this about his son – as if nothing he said seemed to get through to her, and he resolved to introduce his son to them at the earliest opportunity.
“That’ll straighten things out,” he thought as he left the house.
By now he knew very well that she was using him. He did not know why. But he was too smart not to know. Perhaps to get back at Nevin – perhaps to prove to her friends how wild she was – or how bored she was – perhaps to become famous herself.
Whatever it was she was using him.
He moved the quarter along his hand, and flipped it with his thumb, unseen, into the air.
The man told this story:
Jerry had never known truth, but he had conceived ithimself like some great men conceive of truth and chisel it into the world. And it was his and no one else’s.
He was like some great soul cast out and trying to find shelter in the storm.
His mother used to sing to him. He had never admitted he was afraid. He
Similar Books
