Read Online Following Your Heart by Jerry S. Eicher - Free Book Online Page B

barn as they walked across the front porch. He looked old and weary, and this morning perhaps even more than that. Likely they all looked worn out with the night they had been through. Teresa must have cried herself to sleep across the hall, the muffled sobs still audible when Susan awoke near midnight. For long moments she had stood in front of the bedroom door before returning to her own room. Sometimes sorrow needed to be cried out alone. If Samuel had been crying she would have gone on in, but he seemed the only undisturbed one. Now she held Samuel close to her chest. He gasped for breath when the blanket over his face shifted sideways and the wind blew over his face. Susan pushed the blanket back, holding it down with her hand.
    â€œThis is how life is,” Mamm said, pausing to help Susan up the buggy steps. “We all love Teresa, but she needs to get used to how we live. There really is no other way.”
    Susan said nothing, wondering how Mamm could be so cold. Yet when she looked up, Mamm ’s eyes were also brimming with tears.
    â€œI know. It’s difficult for all of us.” Mamm reached over to squeeze Susan’s shoulder. “Now we really can’t be late or this day will be even harder than it already is.”
    Settling into the seat, Susan pulled the buggy door shut and pushed the blanket back from Samuel’s face. His eyes stared into space, his hands still under the blanket.
    â€œ Da Hah will see us through this,” Daett said from the front seat as he slapped the reins gently against Toby’s back and the buggy jerked forward.
    Susan looked out of the small side window. Teresa was waving to them from the front porch, her hair worked loose from her kapp , the thin strands flying around her face. Susan waved back but Mamm stared straight ahead as they rattled out of the driveway.
    They turned north, the bouncing of the buggy settling into a steady rhythm. Susan watched Samuel’s face. A half smile played on his face. Perhaps Teresa was right, and her son would make a perfect little Amish boy. But even if that happened, Samuel would grow up and know he was different. He always would be simply because his mother wasn’t Amish. The other children would know, and they would say the things that children say. And Mamm and Daett couldn’t keep Teresa around forever. They were getting older themselves by the day. Susan shivered, drawing the buggy blanket up over her knees. Samuel looked at her as she pressed back the tears.
    In front of her Mamm turned around. “Now, is the baby sitting with you or me?”
    â€œI hadn’t thought of that yet,” Susan said.
    â€œNor had I with all the mess going on since last night,” Mamm said. “Oh, why can’t some people just be sensible for once? There would have been nothing wrong with Teresa coming with us this morning.”
    â€œWe must not question the ways of our ministers,” Daett said, his voice rumbling in the closed buggy. “Sometimes God speaks through their hearts as well as ours.”
    â€œThen how can there be such different things spoken?” Mamm shot back.
    â€œ Da Hah has His way of bringing them together,” Daett said. “We must wait until Da Hah shows the way.”
    â€œThen I hope He hurries,” Mamm said. “I can’t take much more of this in my old age.”
    â€œIf Susan hadn’t gone rushing off to the Englisha world with her troubles,” Daett said, “we wouldn’t be going through this.”
    â€œDon’t say that,” Mamm told him. “She’s sitting in the backseat.”
    â€œI haven’t forgotten that,” Daett said. “But it’s something that needs to be said.”
    â€œIt was because of Teresa I did come home,” Susan said. “I wasn’t going to tell you that, but I think I should. You owe my presence here to Teresa.”
    â€œYour heart would have brought you home in its