Read Online Flying in Place by Susan Palwick - Free Book Online Page B

stomach. She hadn’t even looked at me when she said it.
    “I think,” said my father, letting go of Mom’s waist, “that we should eat that pot roast now.”
    “I can’t eat,” I told them, “I’m not hungry. I’m going to go up to my room and study.”
    “Emma! You have to eat—”
    “Why? I’m fat, remember? Missing one meal won’t kill me.”
    “Nutrition,” my mother said, trying to smile.
    “I don’t want any dinner! I’m not hungry! I feel sick, all right? Would you leave me alone?”
    “Let her go,” my father said, and I fled up the stairs, favoring my sore knee. Behind me, I heard him say, “Pam, for God’s sake get rid of that thing.”
    What thing? I crouched at the top of the stairs arid listened with ears fine-tuned by the breathing. I heard paper ripping, and he said matter-of-factly, “You’ve been brooding about this since last night. That’s what has you so keyed up.”
    The poem? That had been the only paper on the table. Did he get to read Mom’s poetry? Maybe he helped her with the awful rhymes. What a joke. What rhymes with life, Stewart? Knife. What rhymes with love? Shove. What rhymes with trust? Lust.
    The phone rang. Maybe it would be the hospital summoning my father back to work. I crouched in the darkness of the stairwell as he said, “You’d better answer that.”
    “It’s probably for you.” Mom sounded hoarse, defeated, subdued.
    “Answer the telephone,” he said quietly.
    Mom could assume her sweet schoolteacher voice without thinking about it, and those were the tones that came from the kitchen. “Oh, Myrna. How are you? No, Emma’s fine. Just fine. And is Jane all right? Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that . No, she just skinned her knee; it’s nothing serious. That’s kind of you, but she’s already gone upstairs to study, and I’d rather she not be interrupted. Thank you for calling.”
    My heart sank. The Hallorans had chewed out Tad’s father and now they were looking for me. “That busybody,” Mom said, and then let out a wail. “You burned it! Stewart—”
    “Now, Pamela. Come on. I’m sure you had it memorized by now anyway.”
    “You had no right!”
    “All the right in the world. It was upsetting you.”
    “It was also my property.”
    “Pamela, my love, consider it a medical procedure. A cauterized wound. The work of a few seconds that prevents possible months of pain and infection.”
    “I see,” she said coldly. “I know but matters of the house, and you, you know a thousand things. Is that it?”
    “No, that’s not it. Pam, I’m sorry I upset you. Truly I am. But it’s better for you to get your mind onto something else.”
    “It wasn’t yours to burn,” Mom said. She sounded hopeless again.
    “What’s yours is mine. Isn’t that what our wedding vows said? Now look: I’ve already apologized for upsetting you. I don’t want to discuss this any more. Do you want me to go up and look at Emma?”
    No . I never should have said I wasn’t feeling well. But to my infinite relief, Mom answered, “Emma’s fine. She said she’s studying. Let’s eat our dinner. I’ll take a tray up to her later, if she wants one.”
    There was no way in the world I’d be able to study now, and I’d cut off any chance of getting out of the house. Even if I managed to sneak out, where could I go? The lake wasn’t safe anymore and neither was the Hallorans’ house, and anywhere else I’d just keep picturing Ginny and wondering if I was crazy. Sleep: sleep was the only place left. Sleep would protect me at least until dawn, when nothing could.
    Sleep now, then. I crawled between the clean sheets without even taking my filthy clothing off, but when I closed my eyes all I could see was the look on Jane’s face when I told her mother what she’d done. I thought I’d been telling the truth, but when Tom Halloran yelled at Mr. Ewmet, he might as well have been yelling at me. Maybe he had been. Maybe he’d known that I’d be able