Read Online Fire Your Boss by Stephen M. Pollan, Mark Levine - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephen M. Pollan, Mark Levine
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material comforts, physical safety, even to renounce physical love. Because service is such an abstract, general concept, I think it’s particularly important to dig down and come up with more specifics. For example, whom do you want to serve? There are people who want to serve their nation. Others feel the need to be of service to the underprivileged. Some are called to serve God. How do you want to be of service? Do you feel called to provide direct service, say by actually handing out food to the hungry or defending the nation from terrorism? Or are you more attracted by indirect service, say by helping establish a school, or getting involved in local politics?
Dan Connors told me he had always felt driven to serve. After graduating from divinity school he decided to pursue work in nonprofit management. He began working for a small social service agency in a midwestern city. Realizing he needed an advanced degree to move up the organizational ladder, he went back to school and earned a degree in nonprofit management. Dan eventually became assistant director of that agency. Two years later the director left, and when it became clear Dan wouldn’t get the job, he moved to a larger nonprofit agency in New York City. When I asked Dan about the specifics underlying his need to serve, he talked a great deal of his experiences in divinity school, feeding the hungry in the decaying downtown of a New England city.
“I Work to Meet People”
Many people develop personal relationships with coworkers. When you spend hours working together you develop a certain closeness. If the office is a pleasant place, the warm environment encourages friendliness. If the office is a nightmarish place, the shared misery creates strong bonds — sort of like sharing a foxhole. Working hard easily leads to after-hours socializing, whether it’s through the company softball team or just sharing a drink after work at the bar around the corner.
Ever since women became a larger presence in the workplace, romantic relationships among coworkers have been common. At a certain point, work replaced school as the best place to meet a mate. The increased awareness of sexual harassment issues may make things more complex and delicate, but many people still meet their life partners at work. If anything, because of all the hours people are spending on the job, the role the office plays in romance is growing.
If you’re working to meet people, you’ll need to be more specific in order to kill your career. What kind of people are you trying to meet, and what type of relationship do you want to form with them? Are you looking for a special someone who shares your love of theater or film? Or are you hunting for friends with whom you can share a day shopping or a round of golf?
Andrea Lewis told me she was looking for both love
and
friendship. A thirty-four-year-old, recently divorced woman, she was given a consultation with me as a gift by her sister. Andrea had been a stay-at-home mom when married to her husband, a dermatologist. But since the divorce she had taken a job as a clerk-receptionist at another doctor’s office, drawing on her experience working in her ex-husband’s office. It was, she said, a way for her to get out and meet people. Andrea explained she was looking for a man who shared her love of the outdoors and culture and friends who enjoyed going to classical concerts and readings by writers.
“I Work to Express Myself”
For a long time I couldn’t figure out why so many of my clients, when asked, told me they worked to express themselves. I don’t think New Yorkers are, by and large, any more artistic or creative than anyone else. Slowly I put the pieces together. I see so many people who work to express themselves because they represent an unusually large percentage of those who are the most unhappy at work, and as a result, seek out my help.
One reason those who work to express themselves are so unhappy is that they are often the
Dan Connors told me he had always felt driven to serve. After graduating from divinity school he decided to pursue work in nonprofit management. He began working for a small social service agency in a midwestern city. Realizing he needed an advanced degree to move up the organizational ladder, he went back to school and earned a degree in nonprofit management. Dan eventually became assistant director of that agency. Two years later the director left, and when it became clear Dan wouldn’t get the job, he moved to a larger nonprofit agency in New York City. When I asked Dan about the specifics underlying his need to serve, he talked a great deal of his experiences in divinity school, feeding the hungry in the decaying downtown of a New England city.
“I Work to Meet People”
Many people develop personal relationships with coworkers. When you spend hours working together you develop a certain closeness. If the office is a pleasant place, the warm environment encourages friendliness. If the office is a nightmarish place, the shared misery creates strong bonds — sort of like sharing a foxhole. Working hard easily leads to after-hours socializing, whether it’s through the company softball team or just sharing a drink after work at the bar around the corner.
Ever since women became a larger presence in the workplace, romantic relationships among coworkers have been common. At a certain point, work replaced school as the best place to meet a mate. The increased awareness of sexual harassment issues may make things more complex and delicate, but many people still meet their life partners at work. If anything, because of all the hours people are spending on the job, the role the office plays in romance is growing.
If you’re working to meet people, you’ll need to be more specific in order to kill your career. What kind of people are you trying to meet, and what type of relationship do you want to form with them? Are you looking for a special someone who shares your love of theater or film? Or are you hunting for friends with whom you can share a day shopping or a round of golf?
Andrea Lewis told me she was looking for both love
and
friendship. A thirty-four-year-old, recently divorced woman, she was given a consultation with me as a gift by her sister. Andrea had been a stay-at-home mom when married to her husband, a dermatologist. But since the divorce she had taken a job as a clerk-receptionist at another doctor’s office, drawing on her experience working in her ex-husband’s office. It was, she said, a way for her to get out and meet people. Andrea explained she was looking for a man who shared her love of the outdoors and culture and friends who enjoyed going to classical concerts and readings by writers.
“I Work to Express Myself”
For a long time I couldn’t figure out why so many of my clients, when asked, told me they worked to express themselves. I don’t think New Yorkers are, by and large, any more artistic or creative than anyone else. Slowly I put the pieces together. I see so many people who work to express themselves because they represent an unusually large percentage of those who are the most unhappy at work, and as a result, seek out my help.
One reason those who work to express themselves are so unhappy is that they are often the
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