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Authors: Andrea Simonne
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Night. It’s all cool
stuff. And even though I’m not political, I appreciate where she’s coming from.
When she was younger, women didn’t have anywhere near as many choices as we do
now. My friends have always been envious because when I talk to my mom she
never asks me whether I have a boyfriend or whether I’m seeing somebody.
Then about a year ago it all
changed. I made the mistake of mentioning to her—after a couple glasses of wine
on my thirty-fourth birthday, mind you—that if I didn’t meet the right man soon
I might consider have a child with a sperm donor. It was just one of those
things you say as a passing fancy, but my mom latched onto the idea and now I
can’t get her latched off. She’s decided I should have a baby, husband or no
husband. And apparently my uterus is scheduled for detonation at midnight on my
thirty-fifth birthday. As a retired psychologist she’s well connected in the
community and knows a lot of lesbian and gay couples who have used sperm donors
and keeps trying to get me to speak with them.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, wondering
whether I should tell her about my lunch date with Ben. She probably wouldn’t
approve knowing our history. “You’ll never believe who I’m having lunch with
today. Remember Ben?”
“Ben Mathews? Oh, Sweetheart—is
that wise? You know I just saw his mother Linda not long ago.”
“You did? You’ve never told me that.
Did she mention him?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to hear
about him after the way he broke your heart all those years ago. I still get
upset thinking about it. You two were so close. He was almost like a part of
our family. Besides the last time I saw Linda she said Ben was engaged.”
I feel sick to my stomach. He’s
engaged? I should have known. I begin kicking myself, because I knew I was
making way too much of this stupid lunch. I don’t know why I do this to myself.
“When was this?”
“A couple of months ago. I saw her
at the fundraiser for the new library.”
“I see.”
She sighs. “I know you think I’m
being a pest about all this sperm donor business, but you have to understand
that I want you to have the best life possible.”
“I know mom, I will think
about it some more—okay?”
“All right, I’m glad to hear that.
I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hang up the phone and stare into
space. So Ben is engaged, possibly even married. I suddenly have a strong urge to
cancel our lunch today. I’m tempted to call Suzy and Lauren and tell them what
I’ve just heard and get their advice, but instead I stare out of my office
window.
I think about my mom’s baby
obsession and wonder if maybe she’s right. I always imagined myself having
children when I was married someday, but what if that someday never comes, or
what if it comes too late for me to get pregnant?
Chapter Six
The Past….
Despite that awful evening
I had meeting Ben’s friends, and despite all our differences, things between
Ben and I didn’t fizzle, they sizzled. We began to spend nearly all of our time
together. His parents had a vacation home near Stevens Pass and we’d been
driving out there every other weekend under the guise of doing something
outdoorsy, though we seldom left the confines of the ‘Love Shack.’ It was
hardly a shack though and was a handsomely furnished three-bedroom house. His
parents only used it during the winter months to go skiing, so we had the place
to ourselves whenever we wanted.
“Why aren’t you ready yet?” Ben
asked. He was sitting on my bed, watching me frantically throw clothes into a
large leather tote.
“Because I got distracted, that’s
all. It won’t take me long to pack.” The truth was I’d been creating a
portfolio of my paintings so I could apply to some art colleges. I didn’t want
to tell Ben about it yet. I didn’t know what he would say since the colleges I
was applying to were all on the East Coast. We’re talking the biggies—Pratt,
Rhode
stuff. And even though I’m not political, I appreciate where she’s coming from.
When she was younger, women didn’t have anywhere near as many choices as we do
now. My friends have always been envious because when I talk to my mom she
never asks me whether I have a boyfriend or whether I’m seeing somebody.
Then about a year ago it all
changed. I made the mistake of mentioning to her—after a couple glasses of wine
on my thirty-fourth birthday, mind you—that if I didn’t meet the right man soon
I might consider have a child with a sperm donor. It was just one of those
things you say as a passing fancy, but my mom latched onto the idea and now I
can’t get her latched off. She’s decided I should have a baby, husband or no
husband. And apparently my uterus is scheduled for detonation at midnight on my
thirty-fifth birthday. As a retired psychologist she’s well connected in the
community and knows a lot of lesbian and gay couples who have used sperm donors
and keeps trying to get me to speak with them.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, wondering
whether I should tell her about my lunch date with Ben. She probably wouldn’t
approve knowing our history. “You’ll never believe who I’m having lunch with
today. Remember Ben?”
“Ben Mathews? Oh, Sweetheart—is
that wise? You know I just saw his mother Linda not long ago.”
“You did? You’ve never told me that.
Did she mention him?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to hear
about him after the way he broke your heart all those years ago. I still get
upset thinking about it. You two were so close. He was almost like a part of
our family. Besides the last time I saw Linda she said Ben was engaged.”
I feel sick to my stomach. He’s
engaged? I should have known. I begin kicking myself, because I knew I was
making way too much of this stupid lunch. I don’t know why I do this to myself.
“When was this?”
“A couple of months ago. I saw her
at the fundraiser for the new library.”
“I see.”
She sighs. “I know you think I’m
being a pest about all this sperm donor business, but you have to understand
that I want you to have the best life possible.”
“I know mom, I will think
about it some more—okay?”
“All right, I’m glad to hear that.
I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hang up the phone and stare into
space. So Ben is engaged, possibly even married. I suddenly have a strong urge to
cancel our lunch today. I’m tempted to call Suzy and Lauren and tell them what
I’ve just heard and get their advice, but instead I stare out of my office
window.
I think about my mom’s baby
obsession and wonder if maybe she’s right. I always imagined myself having
children when I was married someday, but what if that someday never comes, or
what if it comes too late for me to get pregnant?
Chapter Six
The Past….
Despite that awful evening
I had meeting Ben’s friends, and despite all our differences, things between
Ben and I didn’t fizzle, they sizzled. We began to spend nearly all of our time
together. His parents had a vacation home near Stevens Pass and we’d been
driving out there every other weekend under the guise of doing something
outdoorsy, though we seldom left the confines of the ‘Love Shack.’ It was
hardly a shack though and was a handsomely furnished three-bedroom house. His
parents only used it during the winter months to go skiing, so we had the place
to ourselves whenever we wanted.
“Why aren’t you ready yet?” Ben
asked. He was sitting on my bed, watching me frantically throw clothes into a
large leather tote.
“Because I got distracted, that’s
all. It won’t take me long to pack.” The truth was I’d been creating a
portfolio of my paintings so I could apply to some art colleges. I didn’t want
to tell Ben about it yet. I didn’t know what he would say since the colleges I
was applying to were all on the East Coast. We’re talking the biggies—Pratt,
Rhode
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