Read Online Finding Us by Harper Bentley - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Harper Bentley
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stopped running for a second as my breath caught in my throat. My God, she was gorgeous, her auburn hair whipping in the wind around her face, her smile so perfect, white teeth gleaming in the sun.
She was in her bikini , and I was enjoying watching the way her breasts bounced when she moved and how good her ass looked as she ran in front of me. Loving how the muscles in her flat stomach flexed when she’d turn and run backward, taunting me to catch her. Hell, I was no fool. Like I’d give into her dare and catch her… yet. Why would I put an end to this spectacular, sexy show she was putting on?
That particular scene from LA was one that popped into my head as I sat staring at the floor in El’s living room in Chicago. It’d been a time before any of the craziness that was now between us had happened. A happy time. A ti me when we’d been so in love that we couldn’t wait to be together, whether we’d been on the beach goofing around or just quietly reading on opposite ends of the couch, our legs stretched out and crossed over each other’s, or maybe our bare feet tangled together, not speaking a word to each other. God, how I longed for us to return to being that way again.
I felt worse than I had in my entire life. I mean, here I sat in my girl’s living room listening to her being sick in the bathroom because of how badly I’d hurt her, and I hadn’t even known it until she had to lay it all out in front of me, which I knew had to have hurt her even more, but now I finally understood.
I was dense. I was a complete moron. She was right.
Another scene flashed in my head as I waited for her to come out only to tell me we were completely over. It was when she’d first moved into my condo, and I’d woken one night to find she wasn’t in bed. I’d gotten up and gone looking for her, finding her out on the patio crying.
“What’s the matter, baby?” I’d asked, going to her, picking her up out of the chaise then lying down on it myself with her on me, turning her to where her head lay against my chest, my arms wrapped around her tightly.
She ’d sniffed a couple times then pulled back to look at me. I’d wiped her tears with my thumbs and kissed her softly before she told me what was on her mind.
“It’s just that… things are so good… I was so scared that they wouldn’t be… but they are, Jag… they’re so good here with us.”
I’d kissed her again then carried her inside to our bedroom and we’d made love slowly, sweetly, each touch, each kiss, between us letting the other know the depth of our feelings we had for each other. It’d been beautiful, almost magical. And it’d been something I’d vowed I’d never forget. That night I’d promised myself that I’d make sure for the rest of our lives to treat her as if she was the most precious thing in the world to me because she was, and I wanted her to know it always.
And I’d thrown that all away. Tossed it aside without thinking.
And I had to laugh at myself now for thinking that a few dozen flowers, a piece of jewelry, a jumble of words I’d put onto paper would make her feel that way again.
Yeah. Again, I think it was fairly clear that I got it.
After El had come out of the bathroom, I’d asked if she was okay, and upon hearing her say she was, I kissed her forehead and left. I didn’t want to upset her any more than what I already had.
I ended up back at Tyler Callihan’s and crashed in his guest room. Well, after he and I had sat up talking. I’d told him what’d happened with El and me and he’d told me about his “one that got away,” which totally scared the shit out of me because I didn’t want to think of El in that way. She was my “one that I was giving a break for now until I got my shit together and could prove to her that I’d never fu ck things up again as long as I lived and then we’d live a long and amazing life together being happier than ever.”
The next morning I stopped and picked up a
She was in her bikini , and I was enjoying watching the way her breasts bounced when she moved and how good her ass looked as she ran in front of me. Loving how the muscles in her flat stomach flexed when she’d turn and run backward, taunting me to catch her. Hell, I was no fool. Like I’d give into her dare and catch her… yet. Why would I put an end to this spectacular, sexy show she was putting on?
That particular scene from LA was one that popped into my head as I sat staring at the floor in El’s living room in Chicago. It’d been a time before any of the craziness that was now between us had happened. A happy time. A ti me when we’d been so in love that we couldn’t wait to be together, whether we’d been on the beach goofing around or just quietly reading on opposite ends of the couch, our legs stretched out and crossed over each other’s, or maybe our bare feet tangled together, not speaking a word to each other. God, how I longed for us to return to being that way again.
I felt worse than I had in my entire life. I mean, here I sat in my girl’s living room listening to her being sick in the bathroom because of how badly I’d hurt her, and I hadn’t even known it until she had to lay it all out in front of me, which I knew had to have hurt her even more, but now I finally understood.
I was dense. I was a complete moron. She was right.
Another scene flashed in my head as I waited for her to come out only to tell me we were completely over. It was when she’d first moved into my condo, and I’d woken one night to find she wasn’t in bed. I’d gotten up and gone looking for her, finding her out on the patio crying.
“What’s the matter, baby?” I’d asked, going to her, picking her up out of the chaise then lying down on it myself with her on me, turning her to where her head lay against my chest, my arms wrapped around her tightly.
She ’d sniffed a couple times then pulled back to look at me. I’d wiped her tears with my thumbs and kissed her softly before she told me what was on her mind.
“It’s just that… things are so good… I was so scared that they wouldn’t be… but they are, Jag… they’re so good here with us.”
I’d kissed her again then carried her inside to our bedroom and we’d made love slowly, sweetly, each touch, each kiss, between us letting the other know the depth of our feelings we had for each other. It’d been beautiful, almost magical. And it’d been something I’d vowed I’d never forget. That night I’d promised myself that I’d make sure for the rest of our lives to treat her as if she was the most precious thing in the world to me because she was, and I wanted her to know it always.
And I’d thrown that all away. Tossed it aside without thinking.
And I had to laugh at myself now for thinking that a few dozen flowers, a piece of jewelry, a jumble of words I’d put onto paper would make her feel that way again.
Yeah. Again, I think it was fairly clear that I got it.
After El had come out of the bathroom, I’d asked if she was okay, and upon hearing her say she was, I kissed her forehead and left. I didn’t want to upset her any more than what I already had.
I ended up back at Tyler Callihan’s and crashed in his guest room. Well, after he and I had sat up talking. I’d told him what’d happened with El and me and he’d told me about his “one that got away,” which totally scared the shit out of me because I didn’t want to think of El in that way. She was my “one that I was giving a break for now until I got my shit together and could prove to her that I’d never fu ck things up again as long as I lived and then we’d live a long and amazing life together being happier than ever.”
The next morning I stopped and picked up a
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