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Authors: Aine Kelley
Tags: Contemporary
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My heart rate accelerates while flashes of her touching herself sprint through my mind. Fuck . She’s telling me she touches herself with a toy named Bob. I have no idea what to say—all coherent words and thoughts are gone. I’m losing control of my body again. My car is under an unknown force that causes it to go off onto the side of the road. We land in a ditch while my dick practically explodes in my pants.
I’m gripping the dashboard for dear life as the car goes flying off the road. Holy shit, I didn’t think that would freak him out so much. My mouth gets me into trouble yet again. He instinctively reaches his arm across to try and protect me from anything that could happen. His sweetness makes me fall just a little bit for him.
Once the car is stopped, he looks at me with such intensity that I’m sure he’s really pissed off at me. I start to speak, but he cuts me off. “Holy shit! Are you okay? I’m really sorry. I’m … I’m not sure what happened. I should have been more careful.” I watch him close his eyes and take several deep breaths. “Shit. My driving is off today. That should have never happened. You fucking shocked me.”
“I’m fine, really, just trying to get my heart to beat at a normal rate. I’m sorry I blurted that out. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I turn my body toward him and realize that his arm still covers me. It feels incredible. I know he has strong arms, but actually having them on me is a completely different story. My fingertips beg to touch him, so I oblige. As I graze them across, it’s like an electric current moving from my fingers down to my toes. He must feel it, too, because his arm jolts up and nails me in the chin.
“Oh shit, sorry! Damn, what’s wrong with me?”
“It’s okay. I guess I’m just filling you with surprises today.”
“It was total reflex for me to put my arm across you. After Beth’s accident, I well I … I don’t know. I had to put my arm across you.” I watch him take his hands and rub his forehead.
“Ben, I’m fine. It’s pretty much my fault. My big mouth gets me into trouble sometimes. When I’m nervous or anxious, I have a tendency to say things without thinking.”
His eyes blink several times before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Yeah, you kind of surprised me with your, ah … your … well … you know …”
“Bob?”
“Yeah, Bob.” I can see his face turning red.
“One thing I learned this past year is to stop holding back. I’m in control of my emotions and my life. I want to learn from my past mistakes and make positive choices and changes, hence my life plan.” Pausing, I stare him in the eyes so he can understand how serious I am. “Perhaps this new side of me should come with a filter.”
Ben reaches for my hand, and I swear we both experience the current again. “I don’t want you to filter anything. I like that you want to tell me like it is. Don’t change a thing. You just caught me off guard. Most women don’t talk about that.”
“I guess I’m not most women.” My head tilts downward, suddenly feeling shy.
“No, you’re not, and I like that.” His thumb brushes across my hand, prompting me to look up at him. “You said you’re nervous. Do I make you nervous?” He squeezes my hand tightly then continues to brush his thumb across it. The tingles begin. Feeling my breath weaken, I’m desperate to regain control of it, but it suddenly feels like there’s no air left in the car. I look away, needing to catch my breath.
I dare my face to look up at him. My eyes travel up his arm, shoulder, neck, lips, before finally landing on his eyes. They lock onto his—so hauntingly beautiful. They’ve seen love and loss. But I also see something else. Maybe its hope or longing, I’m not sure, but I know that I want to find out. I feel him squeeze again and it brings me back. He asked me a question and wants an answer. For the first time in my life I’m not
I’m gripping the dashboard for dear life as the car goes flying off the road. Holy shit, I didn’t think that would freak him out so much. My mouth gets me into trouble yet again. He instinctively reaches his arm across to try and protect me from anything that could happen. His sweetness makes me fall just a little bit for him.
Once the car is stopped, he looks at me with such intensity that I’m sure he’s really pissed off at me. I start to speak, but he cuts me off. “Holy shit! Are you okay? I’m really sorry. I’m … I’m not sure what happened. I should have been more careful.” I watch him close his eyes and take several deep breaths. “Shit. My driving is off today. That should have never happened. You fucking shocked me.”
“I’m fine, really, just trying to get my heart to beat at a normal rate. I’m sorry I blurted that out. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I turn my body toward him and realize that his arm still covers me. It feels incredible. I know he has strong arms, but actually having them on me is a completely different story. My fingertips beg to touch him, so I oblige. As I graze them across, it’s like an electric current moving from my fingers down to my toes. He must feel it, too, because his arm jolts up and nails me in the chin.
“Oh shit, sorry! Damn, what’s wrong with me?”
“It’s okay. I guess I’m just filling you with surprises today.”
“It was total reflex for me to put my arm across you. After Beth’s accident, I well I … I don’t know. I had to put my arm across you.” I watch him take his hands and rub his forehead.
“Ben, I’m fine. It’s pretty much my fault. My big mouth gets me into trouble sometimes. When I’m nervous or anxious, I have a tendency to say things without thinking.”
His eyes blink several times before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Yeah, you kind of surprised me with your, ah … your … well … you know …”
“Bob?”
“Yeah, Bob.” I can see his face turning red.
“One thing I learned this past year is to stop holding back. I’m in control of my emotions and my life. I want to learn from my past mistakes and make positive choices and changes, hence my life plan.” Pausing, I stare him in the eyes so he can understand how serious I am. “Perhaps this new side of me should come with a filter.”
Ben reaches for my hand, and I swear we both experience the current again. “I don’t want you to filter anything. I like that you want to tell me like it is. Don’t change a thing. You just caught me off guard. Most women don’t talk about that.”
“I guess I’m not most women.” My head tilts downward, suddenly feeling shy.
“No, you’re not, and I like that.” His thumb brushes across my hand, prompting me to look up at him. “You said you’re nervous. Do I make you nervous?” He squeezes my hand tightly then continues to brush his thumb across it. The tingles begin. Feeling my breath weaken, I’m desperate to regain control of it, but it suddenly feels like there’s no air left in the car. I look away, needing to catch my breath.
I dare my face to look up at him. My eyes travel up his arm, shoulder, neck, lips, before finally landing on his eyes. They lock onto his—so hauntingly beautiful. They’ve seen love and loss. But I also see something else. Maybe its hope or longing, I’m not sure, but I know that I want to find out. I feel him squeeze again and it brings me back. He asked me a question and wants an answer. For the first time in my life I’m not
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