Read Online Finding Her Way by Riley Jefferson - Free Book Online Page B

mind with a shake of her head, she moved back to her chair. Once settled in, she started working on quarterly reports. She would be sending her projected financial reports to her clients in a little more than a month. These reports were never part of the contract when clients signed with this company. She felt that giving them a little extra information free of charge is what kept them loyal patrons.
    Scribbling notes on her worksheet, she cursed when her pencil broke.
    Wonderful, what else won’t go my way today? she griped silently.
    Opening up her top drawer to claim her pencil sharpener, she encountered the new phone again. Her memory flashed images of the evening’s events with Devin. Retrieving the phone, she placed it on the top of her desk. Jerrica’s mind was numb on what to do next. Suddenly, like a flip of a switch, she remembered the letter. Relocating her laptop a little to the side, she pulled on the corner of the envelope until it was free from its hidden home. Jerrica tapped the corner of the envelope on her desk then spun it in her fingers to tap the other corner of the envelope in nervous anticipation. She was extremely worried about what Devin had to say. Finding her letter opener, she opened the top with one smooth motion of her wrist. Carefully taking the letter out, she placed the empty envelope and letter opener on her desk. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she unfolded the letter and began reading.

    My Dearest Jerrica,
    You know me better than anyone I’ve ever known. You should understand how hard it is for me to open up and share my emotions with you. I wanted to say I’m sorry for last night. It wasn’t my intention to invite you into my home and assume we could pick up where we left off. I had planned to talk to you. I wanted to tell you what I was feeling. Unfortunately, having you in my place, seeing you at my breakfast table, brought back so many great memories that my old habits took control and I made a fool out of myself coming on to you. I won’t deny that I wanted you, but I promise you that is not why I asked you there. I’ve been thinking a lot about you, about us.  
    I know our relationship was never smooth and I blame myself for all the problems we had. You were only being open, honest, and loving when we were together. Moreover, all I gave you in return was secrets, lies, and pain. I know now what I did was very selfish, but I wouldn’t have admitted that when we were together. I have tried in the past few months to understand where I went wrong for myself and for you. I found I was afraid to let love into my life. I was afraid to let you love me. I found that my world is a very lonely place without you. I want you to know that I’ve missed you so much. I am so sorry for hurting you. I can never take back the things I’ve said, or the hurtful things I’ve done or I didn’t do when we were together. However, I want us to try again. I want to show you how much I’ve changed. Show you the real me. Please give me a chance.
    Lovingly,
    Devin
    PS. The phone is a gift from me. Please don’t ask me to return it. I want you to have it.

    Jerrica sat at her desk staring blankly at the letter. Setting it down, Jerrica felt hurt, frustrated and confused. She had spent months trying to get past the tornado that was Devin Daniel and now she saw herself stepping backward into the pain, instead of moving forward into her future. She turned to her computer and opened up a blank e-mail. Addressing it to Devin, she wrote:

    Devin,
    I received your letter. Thank you for returning my briefcase. Thank you so much for the phone. You really shouldn’t have.
    I need time.
    I need to know first...
    Have you admitted to your parents that you’re gay.
    Jerrica

    She sat back in the chair, gazing at her computer screen, debating if she should hit send. Letting out the breath she was holding, she leaned forward, placing her hand on the mouse. Hesitating briefly, she clicked the