Read Online Fierce Pajamas: An Anthology of Humor Writing from The New Yorker by Henry Finder, David Remnick - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Henry Finder, David Remnick
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close to E. from area within which one may be said to be cut off from E.? In that case: Does E. have an e.?
That line past which being close to E. begins. Greater value in being on that line? On edge of that line?
E. an absolute, or gradations? Sort of close to E. Really really close to E. Marginally barely close to E. Nearly close to E.
(Grumblings.)
.
During mixer, overheard:
“My friend and I were talking. I’m saying like who is your best rock star and who is your best this star and that star and it hits us, all our best ones like live out near the edge. And we’re talking you know and I go, ‘That’s why you like me. I’m out near the edge.’
“And he goes like he’s not believing me, he goes, ‘Yeah?’
“I go, ‘Yeah.’
“ ‘So what’s it look like over there?’ he goes.
“I go, ‘You put your toes out over it and look out and down and you feel something pressing up evenly on each one of your toes, toe toe toe toe toe, and you see somebody looking out and up at you.’ Because—
“And I don’t know what hit him, he goes like ‘
Yeah!
Oh,
yeah!
Oh
yeah,
Lori! Sure, Lori!’ and goes out and rents this motel room somewhere and tears it up.”
.
“Seeing the Humor of It”—Dr. Ardis Wickwire:
“How you like yr. edge?” “Which first, chicken or edge?” “Big butter and edge man.”
Ha.
.
Grosjean, Three types
not
near edge:
(1) Don’t know where edge is, never will. Don’t even know what direction it’s in. (Voice: “That’s cool.”)
(2) Grew up along the edge, or had one or more parents who were out close to it or named them something like Guava, and now want to spend their adult lives getting far from edges as possible. Beer on table, some art on walls that don’t mess over their relaxation, nobody after them with knife. (Voice: “That’s cool.”)
(3) Don’t believe there even
is
an edge. So-called “Round-Earthers.” (Voice: “All
right!
”)
.
Overheard conversation of electricians outside conf. rm.:
“Christ, my mom is dying and getting this S.S.I. Supplemental Security Income. You can only have fifteen hundred in the bank, so we took the rest of it out for her, put it in the house, and Christ the money come pouring in. For my mom, fine, but Christ how about all these guys who
won’t
work. There’s a limit. There’s a limit. It’s the middle-income guy—fifteen, eighteen, twenty thou, and you and me are paying for it. Christ my mom is dying and getting this S.S.I. . . .”
(Poss. paper for next year: “Middle-Edge Spread”?)
.
Crits. of conf.:
(1)
Missed most fundamental point.
(2)
What those splotches up on Vu-Graph?
a.Finger smudges
b.Insect matter
c.Eyesight
d.Weren’t any
(3)
Same old crowd running.
(4)
Ppl. screaming in ppl.’s ears.
(5)
Should have been more registration packets. And more in them.
(6)
Not out close to E.
.
LeFebvre, closing:
Always “same old crowd running things,” because when something has to be done you find out pretty quickly there are only a few people you can call on.
Cutting/leading E. dichotomy? “So fine, can only be palped by surprise.”
(Boos.)
Banquet, installation new officers 8:30 in Ballroom C. (Thing of throwing food: “Just obnoxious.”)
Proposals for new award categories
must
be in Sept. 1.
1979
IAN FRAZIER
LGA-ORD
Then, Beckett decided to become a commercial pilot . . .
“I think the next little bit of excitement is flying,” he wrote to McGreevy. “I hope I am not too old to take it up seriously nor too stupid about machines to qualify as a commercial pilot.”
—“Samuel Beckett,” by Deirdre Bair.
G RAY bleak final afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain your cap welcoming you aboard the continuation of Flyways flight 185 from nothingness to New York’s Laguardia non non non non non non nonstop to Chicago’s Ohare and on from there in the passing of gray afternoons to empty bleak eternal nothingness again with the Carey bus the credit-card machine the
That line past which being close to E. begins. Greater value in being on that line? On edge of that line?
E. an absolute, or gradations? Sort of close to E. Really really close to E. Marginally barely close to E. Nearly close to E.
(Grumblings.)
.
During mixer, overheard:
“My friend and I were talking. I’m saying like who is your best rock star and who is your best this star and that star and it hits us, all our best ones like live out near the edge. And we’re talking you know and I go, ‘That’s why you like me. I’m out near the edge.’
“And he goes like he’s not believing me, he goes, ‘Yeah?’
“I go, ‘Yeah.’
“ ‘So what’s it look like over there?’ he goes.
“I go, ‘You put your toes out over it and look out and down and you feel something pressing up evenly on each one of your toes, toe toe toe toe toe, and you see somebody looking out and up at you.’ Because—
“And I don’t know what hit him, he goes like ‘
Yeah!
Oh,
yeah!
Oh
yeah,
Lori! Sure, Lori!’ and goes out and rents this motel room somewhere and tears it up.”
.
“Seeing the Humor of It”—Dr. Ardis Wickwire:
“How you like yr. edge?” “Which first, chicken or edge?” “Big butter and edge man.”
Ha.
.
Grosjean, Three types
not
near edge:
(1) Don’t know where edge is, never will. Don’t even know what direction it’s in. (Voice: “That’s cool.”)
(2) Grew up along the edge, or had one or more parents who were out close to it or named them something like Guava, and now want to spend their adult lives getting far from edges as possible. Beer on table, some art on walls that don’t mess over their relaxation, nobody after them with knife. (Voice: “That’s cool.”)
(3) Don’t believe there even
is
an edge. So-called “Round-Earthers.” (Voice: “All
right!
”)
.
Overheard conversation of electricians outside conf. rm.:
“Christ, my mom is dying and getting this S.S.I. Supplemental Security Income. You can only have fifteen hundred in the bank, so we took the rest of it out for her, put it in the house, and Christ the money come pouring in. For my mom, fine, but Christ how about all these guys who
won’t
work. There’s a limit. There’s a limit. It’s the middle-income guy—fifteen, eighteen, twenty thou, and you and me are paying for it. Christ my mom is dying and getting this S.S.I. . . .”
(Poss. paper for next year: “Middle-Edge Spread”?)
.
Crits. of conf.:
(1)
Missed most fundamental point.
(2)
What those splotches up on Vu-Graph?
a.Finger smudges
b.Insect matter
c.Eyesight
d.Weren’t any
(3)
Same old crowd running.
(4)
Ppl. screaming in ppl.’s ears.
(5)
Should have been more registration packets. And more in them.
(6)
Not out close to E.
.
LeFebvre, closing:
Always “same old crowd running things,” because when something has to be done you find out pretty quickly there are only a few people you can call on.
Cutting/leading E. dichotomy? “So fine, can only be palped by surprise.”
(Boos.)
Banquet, installation new officers 8:30 in Ballroom C. (Thing of throwing food: “Just obnoxious.”)
Proposals for new award categories
must
be in Sept. 1.
1979
IAN FRAZIER
LGA-ORD
Then, Beckett decided to become a commercial pilot . . .
“I think the next little bit of excitement is flying,” he wrote to McGreevy. “I hope I am not too old to take it up seriously nor too stupid about machines to qualify as a commercial pilot.”
—“Samuel Beckett,” by Deirdre Bair.
G RAY bleak final afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain your cap welcoming you aboard the continuation of Flyways flight 185 from nothingness to New York’s Laguardia non non non non non non nonstop to Chicago’s Ohare and on from there in the passing of gray afternoons to empty bleak eternal nothingness again with the Carey bus the credit-card machine the
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