Feersum Endjinn

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Authors: Iain M. Banks
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comfterbil; thisil onli take a sekind but u ½ 2 feel settld & redy & @ peece.

    Rite. Am prepaird.

    Thisl all hapin very qwickli, Mr Zoliparia; u redi? I put thi pen bak in ma mouf.

    O deer Bascule.

    Here we go.

    O deer.

    & so its off 2 thi land ov thi ded 4 yoors truli 4 thi sekind time 2day, onli this time iss a bit moar serieus.

     
    Iss like sinkin in2 thi sky on thi other side ov thi Erf wifout goin thru thi whole fing furst. Iss like flotin in2 thi erf & thi sky @ thi time, becomin a line not a point, plumin thi depths & assendin thi hites & then branchin out like a tree, like a plane tree, like a hooj bush interminglin wif every bit ov thi erf & thi sky, & then iss like every 1 ov those bits isnt juss a bit ov erf or a molicule ov air eny more, iss like ol ov them is suddenly a littl system ov ther own; a book, a library, a persin; a world . . . & yoor connectid wif ol ov it, ignorin barryers, like u r a brain sell deep in thi grainy grey mush ov thi brain all closed in but joined up 2 loadsa uthir sells, awash in ther communicashin-song & set free by that trapt meshin.

    Boompf-badoom; slapadowndoodie thru thi topmost obvyis layers whot corrisponds 2 thi upper levils ov thi brain - thi rashinil, sensibil, easily understood layers - in2 thi furst ov thi deepdown floors, thi bit under thi cerebral, under thi crust, under thi fotosphere, under thi obvyis.

    Iss heer u ½ 2 b a littl bit careful; iss like bein in a not-so-saloobrius neyborhood ov a big dark city @ nite - only more complicaitd than that; mutch moar so.

    In here, thi trik is thinkin rite. Thas all u ½ 2 do. U ½ 2 think rite. U ½ 2 b dairing & koshis, u ½ 2 b ver sensibil & totily mad. Moast ov ol u ½ 2 b cluvir, u ½ 2 b ingenius. U ½ 2 b abil 2 use whotevir is aroun u, & thass whot it reely cums doun 2; thi kript is whot they col self-referenshil, which meens that - up 2 a poynt - it meens whot u want it 2 meen, & displays itself 2 u as u r best abil 2 understand it, so iss up 2 u reely whot yoos u make ov it aftir that; iss ol about injinooty & thass y itz a yung persins meedyum, frangly.

    Nway, I new whot I wantid so I thot bird .

    & suddinly I woz up in sum dark bildin abuv thi wee twinkly lites ov thi city, up thare wif big metalic skulptyirs ov feersum lookin birds & ther woz lots ov screetches & skwaks about thi place but u coudnt c no birds jus heer thi noyse they made & it woz sort ov crusty-soft under foot & smeld asidic (or alkline; 1 ov thi 2).

    I snifd about, walkin qwietly, then hopt up on2 1 ov thi big metallic birds & sqwatted there, wings by mi sides, stairin out ovir thi lite-spekd blak grid ov thi citi & not blinkin juss lookin 4 movemint, & lowrin ma hed now & agen & pokin in under mi wings wif thi twig whot I held in ma beak, juss like I woz preenin or sumfin.

    Noticd ma wake-up code in thi form ov a ring roun ma lef leg. Handy 2 no it woz thare, juss in case fings go rong an/or Mr Zoliparia flufs his line.

    ... Staid ther a while, payshint as u like, juss watchin.

    Wot u wan then? sed a voice from abuv & behind.

    Nufink mutch, I sed, not lookin. I woz aware ov thi twig in ma beak but it din seem 2 make speakin eny hardir.

    U muss want somthen, u woodin b heer otherwyse.

    U got me thare, I sed. Am here lookin 4 sumbodi.

    O?

    Loss a frend ov mine. Roost-mate. Like 2 trace her.

    We all got frenz we like 2 find.

    This 1 very recent; ½ hour ago. Taken from thi septentrynil gargoil Rosbrith.

    Sep whort?

    Meens - (this is complicated, referin 2 thi uppir data levil whyle am down here in thi furst circle ov thi basement, but I do it) - meens northern, I sed (blimey). Rosbrith. Norf-west on thi grate hol.

    Taken by whort?

    Lammergeier, I sed. (Didn no that neevir til now.)

    Reely. Whot u given in return?

    Am heer amn I? Im a tellir. U got ma eer now. Il not forget u if u help. Luke in me if u want; c whot I say is tru.

    Not blynd.

    Didn fink u wer.

    This bird; u catch eny distingushin marx on it?

    It woz a

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