Read Online Fearless by Cheryl Douglas - Free Book Online Page A

offered advice when he had a problem. She called him to task when he needed a tongue-lashing. She was strong and independent. There was only one problem. She didn’t love him, not the way he needed to be loved.
    “I should go,” she said quietly.
    He knew she was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to agree. He didn’t want her to walk out of his life, not tonight or any other night. Yet he knew she would. He knew her too well to think she would ever change her mind about her future, and he knew himself too well to think he would ever be happy with the casual relationship she said she wanted. He wanted her, in his bed, as his wife and the mother of his children. He wasn’t willing to settle for less, and if he couldn’t have it all, he had no choice but to let her go.
    “You know this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, don’t you?” he said.
    If his marriage had taught him one thing, it was that trying to change another person was futile. His ex-wife was a free spirit, much like Lexi. She loved her job as a flight attendant, enjoyed the travel to exotic destinations, meeting new people, and being independent. They talked about her taking a break when the kids were young, but she decided she wasn’t willing to give up a career she enjoyed to be a stay-at-home mom. That was the beginning of the end of their marriage. They worked alternate shifts, rarely saw each other, and when they did, they would argue. The tension and frustration continued to build until they finally had to acknowledge their marriage wasn’t worth fighting for anymore. He hadn’t been able to change Ashley, hadn’t been able or willing to change herself, and as a result, the life he’d built his dreams around crumbled.
    He couldn’t help but note the irony of the situation he found himself in now. He was years older, supposedly wiser, yet reliving the same mistakes he’d made back then. He had subconsciously spent the past several months trying to convince himself that he could change Lexi’s mind, make her see things his way. He thought he could make her believe that their relationship could work if only she were willing to give it a chance. He was asking her to be the woman he wanted her to be, a woman who wanted a lifetime commitment with just one man. She wasn’t that woman, and she never would be. He finally had to acknowledge the truth. He didn’t have the power to change her. The only person whose actions he could control were his own, and it was time for him to start taking control now.
    He forced himself off the chair. “Let me walk you to your car.”
    She hesitated, obviously surprised. “Ah, yeah okay, just let me say good-bye to the boys.”
    He watched her open the gate and walk down the path to the bonfire. He wrestled with the devil on his shoulder telling him he was a fool to let her go instead of begging her to stay. He knew he could convince her to stay tonight, pick up where they left off last night, but it would be impossible to let her go if he made love to her.
    There was no question he was in love with her. His boys had surprised him with the comment earlier, but he knew they were right. The more time he spent with her, the harder it was to fight his feelings. He wanted to tell her how he felt, beg her for a chance, but he knew it was pointless.
    It wouldn’t change anything.
    He heard the voices and laughter drifting through the air, both feminine and masculine. Those kids were probably thrilled to be getting some face time with their fantasy girl. Hell, he knew exactly how they felt. That’s how she made him feel, like an insecure teenager with a crush on the head cheerleader. She was the girl every guy wanted, but couldn’t have.
    He cursed and scrubbed his hands over his face. Getting over her was going to be hell. Not only was he losing the woman he loved, but one of his best friends.
    She walked halfway up the path toward him. “I’m just gonna head inside and grab my bag, Josh. I’ll meet