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Authors: S. L. Jennings
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Like being near him is the most natural thing in the world.”
Dominic shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t believe I was actually saying the words aloud.
“And I assume you won’t be sharing the name of this mystery man that is so damn scary, yet somehow so damn appealing? I’ll even up the ante with champagne,” he winked.
I grinned at my little secret and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to say. Not because I was afraid to tell him in fear of judgment. And not because I thought he’d disapprove. But if what Dom said was true about revealing my fears—if saying it out loud somehow made this feeling less real, then I don’t think I could ever be ready.
For the first time in twenty-three years, I felt something. Something other than trepidation when a man touched me. Something more than the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I had to shatter another heart because I couldn’t let anyone in. Something so much more than the emptiness that filled my chest when I thought about the normal, happy life that I would never have.
Blaine was my more .
After spending another day shift with Blaine, I was ready to brave the Friday night crowd at Dive. I wasn’t worried; bartending was one of the few things that didn’t make me nervous. It was fast-paced, lively, and you could be whoever you wanted to be. I could flirt and laugh without reservation. I could be a total bitch if a patron got too ass-grabby. I could exude complete confidence and self-assurance. I could be fearless.
Tonight, the girls of AngelDust would be in attendance for their live audition. If anything, I was more nervous for them. Sure, they were amazingly talented, but after seeing who they would be up against, my stomach clenched and roiled into a dozen tiny knots.
All that was erased the moment I saw his face, his mouth rolling his studded tongue in concentration as he filled an order. I tried to focus on filling the beer mug in my hand without collecting too much foam, yet every few seconds, my gaze swept to him. And every glance ignited a jolt in me, making that damn Asian flush creep onto my cheeks.
“What’s that look for?” Blaine asked, suddenly beside me. Oddly, the nearness of him didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I only felt…heat.
I finished up my order of beers and slid them to the customers with a smile. “What look?” I asked innocently, simultaneously taking another order while he worked on filling a tray of shots beside me.
“The look that says you’re secretly undressing me with your eyes,” he answered without hesitance.
My mouth was hanging open, unable to formulate even a mutter of defense, when a familiar squeal saved me from further awkwardness.
“Kam! Holy shit, can you believe the size of this crowd?” Angel yelled over the roar of bar chatter. She leaned over the bar, her cleavage nearly spilling over into a pitcher of beer, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I greeted the other girls with a wave before rushing to take the next order.
“So, Blaine, how’s my girl working out here?” I heard her say as soon as I turned towards a group of girls who were blatantly checking out Blaine’s backside.
“Oh my God, is that Blaine Jacobs? When did he get back?”
“I’m not sure but–Wow–he’s even hotter! Looks like getting rid of that dead weight worked out for him because, DAMN!”
“I know! Can you believe what that bitch did to him? I’m not complaining because that means he’s back on the market!”
“Did you hear what he did to that guy? I heard they released him from prison early for good behavior.”
“I don’t care. I want him. Look at those arms. I can’t wait to feel them wrapped around my naked body.”
“Hell no, bitch, I saw him first. Mark my words, Blaine will be between my legs by the end of the night!”
“Can I help you?” I asked with more attitude than absolutely necessary. I
Dominic shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t believe I was actually saying the words aloud.
“And I assume you won’t be sharing the name of this mystery man that is so damn scary, yet somehow so damn appealing? I’ll even up the ante with champagne,” he winked.
I grinned at my little secret and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to say. Not because I was afraid to tell him in fear of judgment. And not because I thought he’d disapprove. But if what Dom said was true about revealing my fears—if saying it out loud somehow made this feeling less real, then I don’t think I could ever be ready.
For the first time in twenty-three years, I felt something. Something other than trepidation when a man touched me. Something more than the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I had to shatter another heart because I couldn’t let anyone in. Something so much more than the emptiness that filled my chest when I thought about the normal, happy life that I would never have.
Blaine was my more .
After spending another day shift with Blaine, I was ready to brave the Friday night crowd at Dive. I wasn’t worried; bartending was one of the few things that didn’t make me nervous. It was fast-paced, lively, and you could be whoever you wanted to be. I could flirt and laugh without reservation. I could be a total bitch if a patron got too ass-grabby. I could exude complete confidence and self-assurance. I could be fearless.
Tonight, the girls of AngelDust would be in attendance for their live audition. If anything, I was more nervous for them. Sure, they were amazingly talented, but after seeing who they would be up against, my stomach clenched and roiled into a dozen tiny knots.
All that was erased the moment I saw his face, his mouth rolling his studded tongue in concentration as he filled an order. I tried to focus on filling the beer mug in my hand without collecting too much foam, yet every few seconds, my gaze swept to him. And every glance ignited a jolt in me, making that damn Asian flush creep onto my cheeks.
“What’s that look for?” Blaine asked, suddenly beside me. Oddly, the nearness of him didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I only felt…heat.
I finished up my order of beers and slid them to the customers with a smile. “What look?” I asked innocently, simultaneously taking another order while he worked on filling a tray of shots beside me.
“The look that says you’re secretly undressing me with your eyes,” he answered without hesitance.
My mouth was hanging open, unable to formulate even a mutter of defense, when a familiar squeal saved me from further awkwardness.
“Kam! Holy shit, can you believe the size of this crowd?” Angel yelled over the roar of bar chatter. She leaned over the bar, her cleavage nearly spilling over into a pitcher of beer, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I greeted the other girls with a wave before rushing to take the next order.
“So, Blaine, how’s my girl working out here?” I heard her say as soon as I turned towards a group of girls who were blatantly checking out Blaine’s backside.
“Oh my God, is that Blaine Jacobs? When did he get back?”
“I’m not sure but–Wow–he’s even hotter! Looks like getting rid of that dead weight worked out for him because, DAMN!”
“I know! Can you believe what that bitch did to him? I’m not complaining because that means he’s back on the market!”
“Did you hear what he did to that guy? I heard they released him from prison early for good behavior.”
“I don’t care. I want him. Look at those arms. I can’t wait to feel them wrapped around my naked body.”
“Hell no, bitch, I saw him first. Mark my words, Blaine will be between my legs by the end of the night!”
“Can I help you?” I asked with more attitude than absolutely necessary. I
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