Read Online Father Of The Brat by Elizabeth Bevarly - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Elizabeth Bevarly
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Carver shrugged and stared silently into his coffee.
So Maddy continued with her interrogation, hoping it might make him realize that there were some things that were simply beyond a person’s control.
“Would you have married Rachel’s mother?” she asked softly. “And if you had, under those circumstances, do you honestly think the two of you would still be married? Would Rachel really be any different as a child of divorce than she is now? Especially if she realized that the only reason her parents had come together in the first place was not because they loved each other, but because of a social stigma attached to her birth?”
“I don’t know,” he repeated. “But maybe if I’d known about Rachel—even if I didn’t marry Abby—at least I could have been a part of my daughter’s life in some way.”
“How?” Maddy persisted. “You would have lived on the other side of the country. You still would have been traveling extensively for your job. Even with the best of intentions, Carver, Rachel would have wound up a neglected kid. And with her mother being the kind of person that she was, Abby still would have wound up dead. At least this way, you and Rachel have a chance for a new beginning with a clean slate. She can’t resent you for not being there when you didn’t know about her in the first place.”
Carver met her gaze levelly with a smile that was in no way happy. “Oh, can’t she?”
Maddy relented. “Okay, she can resent you a lot. But deep down, eventually, she’s going to have to face the fact that the reason for your absence from her life wasn’t because you didn’t care about her. It was because you didn’t know about her. And when she finally comes to terms with everything, that will make all the difference in the world.”
She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. “Just try not to think about the past twelve years. There’s absolutely nothing you can do now to change them. Focus on the present instead. Focus on the future.”
Carver looked at the hand covering his, noting the short, unpainted fingernails and the complete lack of jewelry. Nononsense hands, he thought. No-nonsense woman. How often had Maddy’s straightforwardness bothered him in high school? How often had he wanted to do something— anything—to shake her seemingly unshakable scrupulousness? Every day, he remembered. Every day she’d done or said something that had driven him crazy, something that had just made him want to grab her by the shoulders and—
—and kiss her, he recalled in a sudden shock of memory. Just like he had that night during the senior play. Just like he wanted to do now.
God, where had that come from? he wondered. He must be overwrought with worry for himself and Rachel if he waswondering what it would be like to kiss Maddy now. It had been bad enough that he’d done it once twenty years ago. And only then because he’d been under the influence of outof-control, adolescent hormones. No way was he going to succumb to such a crazy desire these days. He was an adult now, completely in control of his feelings. And he did not want to kiss Maddy Saunders-turned-Garrett. No way, no how, no sir.
If that’s so true, a little voice in his head piped up unbidden, then why does her hand feel so damned good covering yours?
Because it’s freezing out here, he answered himself immediately. Even a cold fish like Maddy is a welcome buffer against the elements.
Carver heard the voice start laughing then and tried to tune it out. But deep down, he had to admit that being this close to Maddy again felt good. Very good. Without realizing what he was doing, he turned his hand palm up and linked his fingers with hers.
“I’m going to be needing a lot of help dealing with all this,” he said softly.
When he looked up, it was to find that Maddy’s expression had become a little anxious. Slowly, deliberately, she unwound her fingers from his and curled them back around her
So Maddy continued with her interrogation, hoping it might make him realize that there were some things that were simply beyond a person’s control.
“Would you have married Rachel’s mother?” she asked softly. “And if you had, under those circumstances, do you honestly think the two of you would still be married? Would Rachel really be any different as a child of divorce than she is now? Especially if she realized that the only reason her parents had come together in the first place was not because they loved each other, but because of a social stigma attached to her birth?”
“I don’t know,” he repeated. “But maybe if I’d known about Rachel—even if I didn’t marry Abby—at least I could have been a part of my daughter’s life in some way.”
“How?” Maddy persisted. “You would have lived on the other side of the country. You still would have been traveling extensively for your job. Even with the best of intentions, Carver, Rachel would have wound up a neglected kid. And with her mother being the kind of person that she was, Abby still would have wound up dead. At least this way, you and Rachel have a chance for a new beginning with a clean slate. She can’t resent you for not being there when you didn’t know about her in the first place.”
Carver met her gaze levelly with a smile that was in no way happy. “Oh, can’t she?”
Maddy relented. “Okay, she can resent you a lot. But deep down, eventually, she’s going to have to face the fact that the reason for your absence from her life wasn’t because you didn’t care about her. It was because you didn’t know about her. And when she finally comes to terms with everything, that will make all the difference in the world.”
She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. “Just try not to think about the past twelve years. There’s absolutely nothing you can do now to change them. Focus on the present instead. Focus on the future.”
Carver looked at the hand covering his, noting the short, unpainted fingernails and the complete lack of jewelry. Nononsense hands, he thought. No-nonsense woman. How often had Maddy’s straightforwardness bothered him in high school? How often had he wanted to do something— anything—to shake her seemingly unshakable scrupulousness? Every day, he remembered. Every day she’d done or said something that had driven him crazy, something that had just made him want to grab her by the shoulders and—
—and kiss her, he recalled in a sudden shock of memory. Just like he had that night during the senior play. Just like he wanted to do now.
God, where had that come from? he wondered. He must be overwrought with worry for himself and Rachel if he waswondering what it would be like to kiss Maddy now. It had been bad enough that he’d done it once twenty years ago. And only then because he’d been under the influence of outof-control, adolescent hormones. No way was he going to succumb to such a crazy desire these days. He was an adult now, completely in control of his feelings. And he did not want to kiss Maddy Saunders-turned-Garrett. No way, no how, no sir.
If that’s so true, a little voice in his head piped up unbidden, then why does her hand feel so damned good covering yours?
Because it’s freezing out here, he answered himself immediately. Even a cold fish like Maddy is a welcome buffer against the elements.
Carver heard the voice start laughing then and tried to tune it out. But deep down, he had to admit that being this close to Maddy again felt good. Very good. Without realizing what he was doing, he turned his hand palm up and linked his fingers with hers.
“I’m going to be needing a lot of help dealing with all this,” he said softly.
When he looked up, it was to find that Maddy’s expression had become a little anxious. Slowly, deliberately, she unwound her fingers from his and curled them back around her
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