gorgeous children.’”
Sam glanced at him. “Must be one of the six people in the region who hasn’t heard about my fertility issues.” The miscarriage she’d suffered just after Valentine’s Day had proven two things—one, that she was able to conceive despite what she’d been told after an earlier miscarriage, and two, she was not ready to try again. Before their wedding she’d had a contraceptive shot, which bought her three months of not thinking about “the issue” that loomed large over her entire life.
“They would be beautiful, you know—especially if they look like their mother.”
Taking a long sip of her wine, she studied him over the glass. “Something you want to say?”
He shrugged. “Just wondering.”
“About?”
“What happens at the end of the three months?”
Sam’s stomach sank. She almost preferred the days when she still thought the plumbing didn’t work anymore. “What about it?”
“Have you given it any thought?”
Sam stared at him. “Are you seriously asking me that? Like I don’t think about it all the time? I can’t remember what I used to think about before I knew it might be possible…” Her voice caught. Damn if this subject didn’t always get to her!
He wrapped his gloved hand around hers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked it that way. I know you’ve thought about it.”
“Obsessed about it, you mean.”
His face set in an unreadable expression, Nick released her hand, reached for another card, used a letter opener on the envelope and scanned the message. He tossed it aside and reached for the next one.
“That’s it? End of conversation?”
“I wish I hadn’t said anything.” Sighing, he sat back against the sofa, took off the latex gloves and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t deal with how sad you get when we talk about this. It kills me.”
“When I think about getting pregnant again, I picture a baby growing inside me.” She rested her hand on her belly. “They say the quickening, when the baby starts to move, is like butterfly wings fluttering. Can you imagine what that must feel like?”
“Sam…”
“I’ve never gotten that far, so I don’t know what it’s like to feel the baby move. But because of what I’ve been through in the past,” she said, swiping at a tear that rolled down her face, “when I think of being pregnant, I also have to think about losing it. And it was bad enough losing your baby once. If it happened again…”
He drew her into his arms. “I want you to know what it feels like to have a baby move inside of you. I want that more than anything.”
“Somehow I’ve managed to get through four miscarriages. I don’t know if I could survive it again.”
“Then let’s not risk it. It’s not worth the gamble.”
“It’s just that knowing I can get pregnant again… That changes everything.” Desperate to finish the job and get to bed, she sat up and reached for another card. “Oh man.”
“What is it?”
She stared at the card.
“Sam?”
“It’s from my mother.”
“What does it say?”
“Um…That she saw the pictures, I looked beautiful, you’re so handsome, we look wonderful together.” She tossed the card aside. “Yada yada.”
Nick reached for it. “You left out the part about how she’d love to hear from you sometime and would like to meet me.”
“Like that’s going to happen.”
“When was the last time you saw her?”
“At my first wedding. She started a big fight with my dad—right in the middle of the wedding. After that, none of us wanted to see her again.” Sam stared at the card on the table for a long moment before she glanced at Nick. “ She left him —for another guy. What right does she have to show up again years later and act like it was all his fault?”
“No right.”
“What? I can tell you’re dying to say something.”
“Just that only the two people in it know what really goes on in a marriage.”
Sam tossed the card
Sam glanced at him. “Must be one of the six people in the region who hasn’t heard about my fertility issues.” The miscarriage she’d suffered just after Valentine’s Day had proven two things—one, that she was able to conceive despite what she’d been told after an earlier miscarriage, and two, she was not ready to try again. Before their wedding she’d had a contraceptive shot, which bought her three months of not thinking about “the issue” that loomed large over her entire life.
“They would be beautiful, you know—especially if they look like their mother.”
Taking a long sip of her wine, she studied him over the glass. “Something you want to say?”
He shrugged. “Just wondering.”
“About?”
“What happens at the end of the three months?”
Sam’s stomach sank. She almost preferred the days when she still thought the plumbing didn’t work anymore. “What about it?”
“Have you given it any thought?”
Sam stared at him. “Are you seriously asking me that? Like I don’t think about it all the time? I can’t remember what I used to think about before I knew it might be possible…” Her voice caught. Damn if this subject didn’t always get to her!
He wrapped his gloved hand around hers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked it that way. I know you’ve thought about it.”
“Obsessed about it, you mean.”
His face set in an unreadable expression, Nick released her hand, reached for another card, used a letter opener on the envelope and scanned the message. He tossed it aside and reached for the next one.
“That’s it? End of conversation?”
“I wish I hadn’t said anything.” Sighing, he sat back against the sofa, took off the latex gloves and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t deal with how sad you get when we talk about this. It kills me.”
“When I think about getting pregnant again, I picture a baby growing inside me.” She rested her hand on her belly. “They say the quickening, when the baby starts to move, is like butterfly wings fluttering. Can you imagine what that must feel like?”
“Sam…”
“I’ve never gotten that far, so I don’t know what it’s like to feel the baby move. But because of what I’ve been through in the past,” she said, swiping at a tear that rolled down her face, “when I think of being pregnant, I also have to think about losing it. And it was bad enough losing your baby once. If it happened again…”
He drew her into his arms. “I want you to know what it feels like to have a baby move inside of you. I want that more than anything.”
“Somehow I’ve managed to get through four miscarriages. I don’t know if I could survive it again.”
“Then let’s not risk it. It’s not worth the gamble.”
“It’s just that knowing I can get pregnant again… That changes everything.” Desperate to finish the job and get to bed, she sat up and reached for another card. “Oh man.”
“What is it?”
She stared at the card.
“Sam?”
“It’s from my mother.”
“What does it say?”
“Um…That she saw the pictures, I looked beautiful, you’re so handsome, we look wonderful together.” She tossed the card aside. “Yada yada.”
Nick reached for it. “You left out the part about how she’d love to hear from you sometime and would like to meet me.”
“Like that’s going to happen.”
“When was the last time you saw her?”
“At my first wedding. She started a big fight with my dad—right in the middle of the wedding. After that, none of us wanted to see her again.” Sam stared at the card on the table for a long moment before she glanced at Nick. “ She left him —for another guy. What right does she have to show up again years later and act like it was all his fault?”
“No right.”
“What? I can tell you’re dying to say something.”
“Just that only the two people in it know what really goes on in a marriage.”
Sam tossed the card
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