that was a lie. He’d have to have been standing outside the bathroom door to hear me and that mattered quite a bit, but I couldn’t think—i.e. obsess—about that now.
I decided to wear crop pants, flats and a cute bowling shirt. It had a ’57 cherry red Chevy on it and it made my boobs look amazing. Of course, I always thought they looked amazing. It was hard to go wrong with boobs.
The bell rang promptly at ten.
A sick feeling settled in my gut. This was such a bad idea. Bad. Bad. Bad .
I opened the door and April was dressed to kill. She was wearing a tiny leather miniskirt that I could have used for a garter, a filmy see-through club halter, and those designer heels with the red sole.
“Wow.”
“Do you think he’ll like it?”
“Who wouldn’t?”
“You look great, too. I love that shirt on you.” April smiled.
I knew she was trying to be nice, but I didn’t want her to be nice.
“Ready?” I didn’t invite her in.
“Um, are those my panties on your counter?” She pursed her lips.
“Yeah. Kieran left them there.”
“I see.” Her expression was unreadable. “Let me just grab them and save you the baggie.”
“Did you tell him you were coming tonight?”
“Of course. I told him and Brant you were coming too.”
“We’re not sitting by the stage. We’re not going to be those girls.”
She looked at me after she’d stuffed her panties in her purse. “What do you mean?”
“You know. The ones that want to put their stamp on the guys and keep other girls from getting their fantasy. But that’s how they make their money.”
“It’s not even like that. I want him to see me, to know I’m there.”
“He will. Especially since you told him you’re coming. I think going tonight is a bad idea anyway.” The word bad kept flashing with neon blinkers behind my eyes—a kind of warning I would regret ignoring.
“How else will I be able to prove to him I can handle his job?”
“Go next week. This is too soon. It’s like calling the day you get his phone number. It’s desperate.”
“You’re weird, you know that, right?” April eyed me. “Why do you care so much about what other people think?”
It occurred to me that women like April didn’t have the same rules as the rest of us. She was so used to getting who and what she wanted, it would never enter her brain that there were rules to the hunt.
I shrugged. “Hey, I just live with the man.”
“Did he say anything about me?”
Aside from the part where he’d stop seeing you if I wanted him to? “No. We did our usual Saturday thing. We watched American Horror Story and took a nap.”
“Together?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, together. What about it?”
She bit her lip. “Why haven’t you guys fucked? You have all the hallmarks of a relationship. You do everything together.” I heard what sounded like defeat in her tone.
“Because we’re just friends.” The words tasted like poison, both because what had happened this afternoon had been something different and I was ready to throw away our honest friendship because I was suddenly obsessed with his dick.
And more than that, I realized. I was obsessed with the idea that a guy like him could want a girl like me.
Someone with a perfect body could be aroused by someone with an imperfect body. I wanted to prove it to myself, and everyone else.
“So says you until you fall into bed. You can’t say you’re not attracted to him. I mean, no sane, heterosexual woman could not want to ride Kieran Holt like a mechanical bull.”
“I have never denied he’s hot.” She was interrogating me and I was about to defend our relationship to her like her opinion had any bearing on the matter. So I clamped my mouth closed.
“You didn’t say you don’t want to sleep with him,” she whispered.
My blood was lava coursing through my veins. Why should I deny anything? What business was it of hers? “I already slept with him. This afternoon. In his bed. We napped
I decided to wear crop pants, flats and a cute bowling shirt. It had a ’57 cherry red Chevy on it and it made my boobs look amazing. Of course, I always thought they looked amazing. It was hard to go wrong with boobs.
The bell rang promptly at ten.
A sick feeling settled in my gut. This was such a bad idea. Bad. Bad. Bad .
I opened the door and April was dressed to kill. She was wearing a tiny leather miniskirt that I could have used for a garter, a filmy see-through club halter, and those designer heels with the red sole.
“Wow.”
“Do you think he’ll like it?”
“Who wouldn’t?”
“You look great, too. I love that shirt on you.” April smiled.
I knew she was trying to be nice, but I didn’t want her to be nice.
“Ready?” I didn’t invite her in.
“Um, are those my panties on your counter?” She pursed her lips.
“Yeah. Kieran left them there.”
“I see.” Her expression was unreadable. “Let me just grab them and save you the baggie.”
“Did you tell him you were coming tonight?”
“Of course. I told him and Brant you were coming too.”
“We’re not sitting by the stage. We’re not going to be those girls.”
She looked at me after she’d stuffed her panties in her purse. “What do you mean?”
“You know. The ones that want to put their stamp on the guys and keep other girls from getting their fantasy. But that’s how they make their money.”
“It’s not even like that. I want him to see me, to know I’m there.”
“He will. Especially since you told him you’re coming. I think going tonight is a bad idea anyway.” The word bad kept flashing with neon blinkers behind my eyes—a kind of warning I would regret ignoring.
“How else will I be able to prove to him I can handle his job?”
“Go next week. This is too soon. It’s like calling the day you get his phone number. It’s desperate.”
“You’re weird, you know that, right?” April eyed me. “Why do you care so much about what other people think?”
It occurred to me that women like April didn’t have the same rules as the rest of us. She was so used to getting who and what she wanted, it would never enter her brain that there were rules to the hunt.
I shrugged. “Hey, I just live with the man.”
“Did he say anything about me?”
Aside from the part where he’d stop seeing you if I wanted him to? “No. We did our usual Saturday thing. We watched American Horror Story and took a nap.”
“Together?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, together. What about it?”
She bit her lip. “Why haven’t you guys fucked? You have all the hallmarks of a relationship. You do everything together.” I heard what sounded like defeat in her tone.
“Because we’re just friends.” The words tasted like poison, both because what had happened this afternoon had been something different and I was ready to throw away our honest friendship because I was suddenly obsessed with his dick.
And more than that, I realized. I was obsessed with the idea that a guy like him could want a girl like me.
Someone with a perfect body could be aroused by someone with an imperfect body. I wanted to prove it to myself, and everyone else.
“So says you until you fall into bed. You can’t say you’re not attracted to him. I mean, no sane, heterosexual woman could not want to ride Kieran Holt like a mechanical bull.”
“I have never denied he’s hot.” She was interrogating me and I was about to defend our relationship to her like her opinion had any bearing on the matter. So I clamped my mouth closed.
“You didn’t say you don’t want to sleep with him,” she whispered.
My blood was lava coursing through my veins. Why should I deny anything? What business was it of hers? “I already slept with him. This afternoon. In his bed. We napped
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