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Authors: Celeste O. Norfleet
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happen.”
“You put too much emphasis on the perfect life. What’s perfect for one person isn’t perfect for another. You need to chill and relax with all that. Everything you want will happen in time. You gotta be patient, that’s all.”
“How do I know I have time? My mom didn’t,” I told him.
“Your mom was a nice person and I liked her, but she had problems. She had issues that she needed to deal with and maybe she couldn’t. That’s why she took the pills. Maybe if she talked to somebody about what was going on.”
I nodded. He was right. She should have talked to somebody. She should have talked to me. I was right therethe whole time. Why couldn’t I help her? “I think mom still felt guilty because of Jaden, my sister Jade’s father. He was hit and killed by a drunk driver. He pushed her out of the way saving her. They were right in the middle of an argument when it happened. She never got closure. I don’t think she ever forgave herself for that. But there was nothing to forgive. It was an accident. Then I came along with my dad and more drama. She held on to all that drama.”
“But people hold on to things all the time. I know I held on to the fact that my little brother was killed for seven dollars and fifty-three cents. I should have been there, but I wasn’t,” he said softly. I gazed at him seeing that he was still feeling it. “I had a test and I was studying. I heard the sirens, and I knew right then something was wrong. I ran down the street, but it was too late. I still feel…”
“That wasn’t your fault, Terrence. It was that stupid fool’s fault, the one that killed your brother. You couldn’t have changed anything.”
“Still…”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, then reached over and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt protected, safe, like the world was fine again even though I knew it wasn’t. We sat there a while just like that, holding each other feeling good. I started crying, I guess about everything we’d talked about and everything we didn’t.
I leaned back and looked at him. He wiped a tear from my cheek then kissed me sweetly. “What am I gonna do now? I messed up so bad.”
“You got expelled, fine. So now you take steps to fix it. You make it right.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’m getting my grandmother to get me into Penn Hall for the semester.”
“Penn Hall? Why there? Can’t you go someplace else in Virginia, like another private school?”
“I could I guess, but I don’t want to. My dad wanted to hire a tutor for me for the next two months, but I didn’t want that either. My mom wanted me to try Penn Hall, so I’m doing that.”
“Penn Hall isn’t fun and games, Kenisha. It’s nothing like the place you went to.”
“I know. No big deal. No uniforms, metal detectors, yeah, I get it. I’ll be fine. You just jealous, that’s all. There are guys at Penn Hall,” I said finally smiling.
“Yeah, I’m jealous, right,” he said playing it off.
“Yeah, lawnmower guy, I know you like me,” I said bumping my shoulder to him and smiling like crazy.
He smiled and his dimple peeked out like it always did. He was so cute when he smiled. His light-colored eyes brightened. My stomach fluttered as usual. He made me feel so warm inside. Actually, it was more like hot inside. I knew he was gonna be my first. I just hadn’t decided when we were gonna do it.
But it wasn’t like he was asking or pressuring me like LaVon used to do all the time. We never really talked about sex. It just sort of never came up. “So tell me about the girls at Howard,” I said.
“Uh-huh, now who’s acting all jealous, all up in my business?” he said laughing.
I laughed, too. But inside I was feeling kind of funny. He went on to talk more about college life and I listened,but I was still thinking about the girls there. Terrence was a really nice guy and a seriously good catch. Any girl would be crazy not to want to hook up with him.
“You put too much emphasis on the perfect life. What’s perfect for one person isn’t perfect for another. You need to chill and relax with all that. Everything you want will happen in time. You gotta be patient, that’s all.”
“How do I know I have time? My mom didn’t,” I told him.
“Your mom was a nice person and I liked her, but she had problems. She had issues that she needed to deal with and maybe she couldn’t. That’s why she took the pills. Maybe if she talked to somebody about what was going on.”
I nodded. He was right. She should have talked to somebody. She should have talked to me. I was right therethe whole time. Why couldn’t I help her? “I think mom still felt guilty because of Jaden, my sister Jade’s father. He was hit and killed by a drunk driver. He pushed her out of the way saving her. They were right in the middle of an argument when it happened. She never got closure. I don’t think she ever forgave herself for that. But there was nothing to forgive. It was an accident. Then I came along with my dad and more drama. She held on to all that drama.”
“But people hold on to things all the time. I know I held on to the fact that my little brother was killed for seven dollars and fifty-three cents. I should have been there, but I wasn’t,” he said softly. I gazed at him seeing that he was still feeling it. “I had a test and I was studying. I heard the sirens, and I knew right then something was wrong. I ran down the street, but it was too late. I still feel…”
“That wasn’t your fault, Terrence. It was that stupid fool’s fault, the one that killed your brother. You couldn’t have changed anything.”
“Still…”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, then reached over and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt protected, safe, like the world was fine again even though I knew it wasn’t. We sat there a while just like that, holding each other feeling good. I started crying, I guess about everything we’d talked about and everything we didn’t.
I leaned back and looked at him. He wiped a tear from my cheek then kissed me sweetly. “What am I gonna do now? I messed up so bad.”
“You got expelled, fine. So now you take steps to fix it. You make it right.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’m getting my grandmother to get me into Penn Hall for the semester.”
“Penn Hall? Why there? Can’t you go someplace else in Virginia, like another private school?”
“I could I guess, but I don’t want to. My dad wanted to hire a tutor for me for the next two months, but I didn’t want that either. My mom wanted me to try Penn Hall, so I’m doing that.”
“Penn Hall isn’t fun and games, Kenisha. It’s nothing like the place you went to.”
“I know. No big deal. No uniforms, metal detectors, yeah, I get it. I’ll be fine. You just jealous, that’s all. There are guys at Penn Hall,” I said finally smiling.
“Yeah, I’m jealous, right,” he said playing it off.
“Yeah, lawnmower guy, I know you like me,” I said bumping my shoulder to him and smiling like crazy.
He smiled and his dimple peeked out like it always did. He was so cute when he smiled. His light-colored eyes brightened. My stomach fluttered as usual. He made me feel so warm inside. Actually, it was more like hot inside. I knew he was gonna be my first. I just hadn’t decided when we were gonna do it.
But it wasn’t like he was asking or pressuring me like LaVon used to do all the time. We never really talked about sex. It just sort of never came up. “So tell me about the girls at Howard,” I said.
“Uh-huh, now who’s acting all jealous, all up in my business?” he said laughing.
I laughed, too. But inside I was feeling kind of funny. He went on to talk more about college life and I listened,but I was still thinking about the girls there. Terrence was a really nice guy and a seriously good catch. Any girl would be crazy not to want to hook up with him.
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