Read Online Falling by Kailin Gow - Free Book Online Page B

Grayson remember? How much did they take? From what they said back at Location Six, he was only partially Faded before he broke out. He obviously got a lot of the knowledge, and some of his memory seems to be gone, but how much?
    “I remember some of it,” Grayson says. “I remember running. I remember running with you. I know that we were once in a relationship together. I just can’t remember the details of it.” He sighs. “I kind of miss the days when things were that simple.”
    He reaches out for my hand. It’s not the same as it was with Jack’s. This is about reassurance more than anything else. I squeeze his hand back. For a moment, just a moment, I can pretend that it’s the old Grayson there.
    “I know,” I say. “I miss those days, too. It was so much easier, and I didn’t have to know all of this… stuff.”
    I feel him reach over to hug me, and I let him. I remember the way Grayson used to take care of so much when we were together. He was the one I would go to with problems, and he would make it feel just like everything was fine. Of course that was back before I knew all about his father, all about the Others. I know things can’t go back to that, and in any case, I wouldn’t want them to. I love Jack too much for that.
    Grayson pulls back, looking at me seriously. “There are so many things I don’t remember,” he says. “You’re going to think this is stupid, but I don’t even remember why we broke up. I don’t even remember breaking up. I know we must have, but it’s just a blank for me.” He shakes his head. “No, it’s more than that. I feel like there’s something missing that I should know. I feel… every time I see you with Jack, I feel so sad, as though I’ve lost something so important to me, a large part of me.”
    “That didn’t stop you flirting with that Fader.” I realize what I’ve just said. “Not that it makes any difference to me.”
    “Who? Phillipa? She’s old enough to be my mother. I was just being… well, maybe I just wanted to distract myself.” He looks at me intently then. “Seriously, Celes, why did we break up? What did I do?”
    “Do? What makes you think you did anything wrong?” I ask, not understanding. I’m also worried. Things would be so much easier if Grayson would leave this alone. Yet I can tell that he isn’t going to.
    “I must have done something wrong,” Grayson says, “because I don’t think you would break up with someone without a good reason, Celes.”
    “And you’re so certain that I broke up with you, rather than the other way around?”
    Grayson nods. “I know that. I would never break up with you, even as I am now. And that’s without half my memories. So you must have broken up with me instead, and there must be a reason.”
    “I can’t explain it,” I say. “Please just accept that I’m with Jack now, Grayson.”
    He hesitates, and I think that he wants to say that he can’t accept that, but he nods. He also gets up and moves away from me, back to the other Faders. I know I should have told him the truth, but sometimes it’s kinder not to, isn’t it? Circumstances have torn us apart, and it would be cruel to let Grayson think he has a chance when he doesn’t. I’m with Jack. I’ve felt a special connection to Jack almost since I met him. I’m not about to give that up.
    The trouble is, while Grayson might not have his memories, I still have mine. I can still remember all the times we spent together. I can still remember wanting to run to him when my family went missing. I can still remember thinking of him, running back to him. It’s more than that though. Grayson is a link to my past. The last link. Without Grayson, there’s no one to remember who I was before. Without Grayson, it’s like Celestra Caine never existed.
    Is that a good enough reason to cling onto him though? I should let him go, shouldn’t I? I should want him to be happy. So why can’t I?
     
    Eventually, the jet lands. We