me this?"
"Because I have to say it out loud. I have to say it to someone so that it's real to me. My dad won't ever change. I know he's having an affair, but it isn't with his tennis partner."
"Who then?"
He looked away. His mouth flattened. "Does it matter? He's going to leave her and she knows it. Do you know what that does to our family? What it's like to live in that? It's like a living in a warzone, but no one wants to admit that they could get shot any second. I hate it." The same bitterness came out again. "I hate him. I hate her. Who would put up with that?"
I shot to my feet. Unnerved at the honesty from him and how exposed he revealed himself to me, I burst out, "Why are you telling me this? You dropped our friendship two months ago."
His mouth curved into a frown. His voice grew soft. "Because I was the asshole to you that I see my dad being to my mom every day. I'm sorry. I know you wanted my friendship. Hell, you needed my friendship. I knew that and I hurt you because you hurt me."
"You knew about Mason—"
He shot back, "That didn't mean I wanted to. I waited so long for you, Sam, and then you got scooped up by him." An ugly laugh wrung out from him. "That was a hard thing to swallow. I hate that guy." I opened my mouth, but his hand shot up. "Let me finish."
I closed it.
"I always thought the Kades were assholes. I still do, but I can't deny what I've seen with my own two eyes. They're good to you. They care about you, and he loves you. I see it in his eyes. He watches you when you have no idea he's even in the room. It's sickening to watch at times, but it's there and I have to deal with it. I hurt you, and I'm sorry for that."
I closed my eyes. Mason watched me when I didn't know it? That same familiar flutter came back in my stomach but tripled. I tried to hold back the smile that wanted to come out. Mason did love me, despite who my mother was.
"And I'm sorry about Becky. I lied to her so she wouldn't be your friend again. I already told her the truth and she's pissed with me, but she's scared of reaching out to you. She's embarrassed."
"What did you lie about?"
"I told her that you were using her because you had no other friends. I told her that you laughed at her behind her back a few times and that you looked down on her."
I gaped at him. Outrage was starting to boil inside of me.
He held up a hand in surrender. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I really am and I'm going to make everything right. I will." His eyes held his promise. "I saw a counselor two weeks ago, and she said a few things that resonated. For me not to become like my dad, I actually have to not do the same things that he does. So I'm done lying. I won't lie to you anymore. I promise."
Why was he saying all these things? Not now, not when Mason had been taken from me and I was alone. But Becky—my heart sank at the lies he told her. If I was in her place, I might've done the same thing and gone away. Who wanted a friend who thought they were better than them?
"Can we be friends again, Sam?"
I expelled a ragged breath. A sense of doom started to settle, but I found myself nodding.
"You won't regret this."
I already did.
Adam visited with me a little bit more, but I had a hard time hearing his words. My mind was reeling as so much had changed in the last twenty-four hours. Mason and Logan had been ripped away. Adam and maybe Becky had come back in. And where was I?
When he left for his date, he was late but had a bright grin on his face. I finished my run back home. I felt raw. I felt exposed and vulnerable to anyone at that moment, but then I stopped in my tracks when I came to the house.
A security van was parked in our driveway. A man was kneeling at the door as I walked past him to the kitchen. There were two more focused on something on the wall. Analise stood with another who must've been their boss. He held the clipboard and was nodding as she gestured around the room.
Then she saw me. A dark smile came to her
"Because I have to say it out loud. I have to say it to someone so that it's real to me. My dad won't ever change. I know he's having an affair, but it isn't with his tennis partner."
"Who then?"
He looked away. His mouth flattened. "Does it matter? He's going to leave her and she knows it. Do you know what that does to our family? What it's like to live in that? It's like a living in a warzone, but no one wants to admit that they could get shot any second. I hate it." The same bitterness came out again. "I hate him. I hate her. Who would put up with that?"
I shot to my feet. Unnerved at the honesty from him and how exposed he revealed himself to me, I burst out, "Why are you telling me this? You dropped our friendship two months ago."
His mouth curved into a frown. His voice grew soft. "Because I was the asshole to you that I see my dad being to my mom every day. I'm sorry. I know you wanted my friendship. Hell, you needed my friendship. I knew that and I hurt you because you hurt me."
"You knew about Mason—"
He shot back, "That didn't mean I wanted to. I waited so long for you, Sam, and then you got scooped up by him." An ugly laugh wrung out from him. "That was a hard thing to swallow. I hate that guy." I opened my mouth, but his hand shot up. "Let me finish."
I closed it.
"I always thought the Kades were assholes. I still do, but I can't deny what I've seen with my own two eyes. They're good to you. They care about you, and he loves you. I see it in his eyes. He watches you when you have no idea he's even in the room. It's sickening to watch at times, but it's there and I have to deal with it. I hurt you, and I'm sorry for that."
I closed my eyes. Mason watched me when I didn't know it? That same familiar flutter came back in my stomach but tripled. I tried to hold back the smile that wanted to come out. Mason did love me, despite who my mother was.
"And I'm sorry about Becky. I lied to her so she wouldn't be your friend again. I already told her the truth and she's pissed with me, but she's scared of reaching out to you. She's embarrassed."
"What did you lie about?"
"I told her that you were using her because you had no other friends. I told her that you laughed at her behind her back a few times and that you looked down on her."
I gaped at him. Outrage was starting to boil inside of me.
He held up a hand in surrender. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I really am and I'm going to make everything right. I will." His eyes held his promise. "I saw a counselor two weeks ago, and she said a few things that resonated. For me not to become like my dad, I actually have to not do the same things that he does. So I'm done lying. I won't lie to you anymore. I promise."
Why was he saying all these things? Not now, not when Mason had been taken from me and I was alone. But Becky—my heart sank at the lies he told her. If I was in her place, I might've done the same thing and gone away. Who wanted a friend who thought they were better than them?
"Can we be friends again, Sam?"
I expelled a ragged breath. A sense of doom started to settle, but I found myself nodding.
"You won't regret this."
I already did.
Adam visited with me a little bit more, but I had a hard time hearing his words. My mind was reeling as so much had changed in the last twenty-four hours. Mason and Logan had been ripped away. Adam and maybe Becky had come back in. And where was I?
When he left for his date, he was late but had a bright grin on his face. I finished my run back home. I felt raw. I felt exposed and vulnerable to anyone at that moment, but then I stopped in my tracks when I came to the house.
A security van was parked in our driveway. A man was kneeling at the door as I walked past him to the kitchen. There were two more focused on something on the wall. Analise stood with another who must've been their boss. He held the clipboard and was nodding as she gestured around the room.
Then she saw me. A dark smile came to her
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