Read Online Fading by E. K. Blair - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: E. K. Blair
Tags: Romance, Contemporary
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Allie comes back with a tray of bandages, ointment, and other small items I can't quite identify.
"I'm just going to clean up and bandage these cuts for you, okay?"
I silently nod my head and return to the table to sit down. I watch her as she washes her hands and puts on a pair of sterile latex gloves. She starts cleaning my wounds and covers them up. Once she is finished, she asks me if I want to take the morning after pill. My eyes dart to hers as I quickly try to think if I really need it. I feel my stomach hollow out, and I suddenly turn cold. He didn't use a condom. Christ, he didn't use a condom.
I whisper softly, "I think so." I can hardly move, let alone speak.
I hear Jase mutter an obscenity, and when I turn my head to look at him, he is sitting in the chair with his head in his hands.
"Okay, I will put in the order for that, and we can also take a few other preventive steps to safeguard against STDs," she says as she lays her hand on my knee. She gives me a reassuring look, and all I can do is continue to nod my head like an idiot.
About an hour later, Jase has his arm around my waist as we leave the hospital and head to his SUV. He unlocks the car and opens the door for me. He helps me up into the seat and shuts the door. I watch him in a daze as he walks around the front of the car and climbs into the driver's seat. I start to feel the anxiety build in my stomach at the thought of going home. I know when I get there I'm going to have to explain all of this to Kimber. God, I don't want anyone to know. I just want to pretend like this never happened. I want to hide from this nightmare.
"Can I spend the night at your place?" I ask as I stare at my fidgeting hands in my lap.
He reaches over, takes my hand, and gives it a squeeze. "Of course."
I walk into Jase's apartment, and without a second thought, head straight toward the bathroom. I feel completely filthy, and the urge to scrub every inch of my body overwhelms me. I don't say a word to Jase as I close the door behind me. Reaching into the shower, I turn on the water. Purposely avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, I start removing my clothes. The bathroom quickly fills with steam. I open the large glass door and step into the scalding hot water. Standing underneath the showerhead, I let the water pelt against my body. I brace both of my hands against the wall of slick tile and let my head fall down. My face is hot, and I know I'm crying even though I can't feel my tears as they mesh with the water running down my face.
Time is frozen as I stand here in this position. My chest aches, and my whole body feels broken. My stomach burns, and I swear to God I can start to feel my soul begin to break. Piece by piece I begin to lose myself. My chest is crumbling into painful shards of what used to be me. Violent sobs wrack my body, and I slowly collapse on the wet tile beneath me. Sitting there on my knees, with one hand on the floor balancing myself, and the other pressed against my chest, I try desperately to gasp in breaths between my wails.
I know I am no longer alone when I feel arms wrapping around me and a heavy chest on my back. Jase holds me tighter than anyone has ever held me, and I begin to cry harder. I sit here, on the bottom of the shower, and everything I know about myself, everything I love, everything I am begins to fade.
My tears run dry, and Jase and I sit in silence under the water. He loosens his hold on me, and I continue to rest on my knees—frozen. Jase takes the body wash and starts to rub it into my skin. All of my energy has disappeared, so I don't protest; I just let him take care of me.
After he washes my hair, I open my eyes and look at him for the first time. He is soaking wet in his gym shorts and t-shirt. He turns the water off and strips out of his clothes, leaving them on the floor of the shower as he steps out. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he grabs another and drapes it over my shoulders as he helps me
"I'm just going to clean up and bandage these cuts for you, okay?"
I silently nod my head and return to the table to sit down. I watch her as she washes her hands and puts on a pair of sterile latex gloves. She starts cleaning my wounds and covers them up. Once she is finished, she asks me if I want to take the morning after pill. My eyes dart to hers as I quickly try to think if I really need it. I feel my stomach hollow out, and I suddenly turn cold. He didn't use a condom. Christ, he didn't use a condom.
I whisper softly, "I think so." I can hardly move, let alone speak.
I hear Jase mutter an obscenity, and when I turn my head to look at him, he is sitting in the chair with his head in his hands.
"Okay, I will put in the order for that, and we can also take a few other preventive steps to safeguard against STDs," she says as she lays her hand on my knee. She gives me a reassuring look, and all I can do is continue to nod my head like an idiot.
About an hour later, Jase has his arm around my waist as we leave the hospital and head to his SUV. He unlocks the car and opens the door for me. He helps me up into the seat and shuts the door. I watch him in a daze as he walks around the front of the car and climbs into the driver's seat. I start to feel the anxiety build in my stomach at the thought of going home. I know when I get there I'm going to have to explain all of this to Kimber. God, I don't want anyone to know. I just want to pretend like this never happened. I want to hide from this nightmare.
"Can I spend the night at your place?" I ask as I stare at my fidgeting hands in my lap.
He reaches over, takes my hand, and gives it a squeeze. "Of course."
I walk into Jase's apartment, and without a second thought, head straight toward the bathroom. I feel completely filthy, and the urge to scrub every inch of my body overwhelms me. I don't say a word to Jase as I close the door behind me. Reaching into the shower, I turn on the water. Purposely avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, I start removing my clothes. The bathroom quickly fills with steam. I open the large glass door and step into the scalding hot water. Standing underneath the showerhead, I let the water pelt against my body. I brace both of my hands against the wall of slick tile and let my head fall down. My face is hot, and I know I'm crying even though I can't feel my tears as they mesh with the water running down my face.
Time is frozen as I stand here in this position. My chest aches, and my whole body feels broken. My stomach burns, and I swear to God I can start to feel my soul begin to break. Piece by piece I begin to lose myself. My chest is crumbling into painful shards of what used to be me. Violent sobs wrack my body, and I slowly collapse on the wet tile beneath me. Sitting there on my knees, with one hand on the floor balancing myself, and the other pressed against my chest, I try desperately to gasp in breaths between my wails.
I know I am no longer alone when I feel arms wrapping around me and a heavy chest on my back. Jase holds me tighter than anyone has ever held me, and I begin to cry harder. I sit here, on the bottom of the shower, and everything I know about myself, everything I love, everything I am begins to fade.
My tears run dry, and Jase and I sit in silence under the water. He loosens his hold on me, and I continue to rest on my knees—frozen. Jase takes the body wash and starts to rub it into my skin. All of my energy has disappeared, so I don't protest; I just let him take care of me.
After he washes my hair, I open my eyes and look at him for the first time. He is soaking wet in his gym shorts and t-shirt. He turns the water off and strips out of his clothes, leaving them on the floor of the shower as he steps out. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he grabs another and drapes it over my shoulders as he helps me
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