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kiss her daughter for days afterwards, but it was for a thousand quid a week. It was worth it in the long run.
    At least, that’s what she repeatedly told herself.
    47
     

    Marie answered the knock on her door warily. It was Amanda Stirling. She carried a half-bottle of white wine and two glasses. She also held a large brown paper bag.
    ‘Congratulations. You got a job!’
    She was genuinely pleased the first big hurdle was over and it showed. She unscrewed the wine and poured it out. As she passed a glass to Marie she saw the confusion in her face.
    ‘I ain’t had alcohol for years. Even inside I never bothered with the home-made.‘1 She didn’t take the glass. ‘Do you mind if I pass on this? I was an addict and that means I’m addicted to any kind of stimulant or drug. Especially alcohol.’
    Amanda felt bad to have put her on the spot but she smiled.
    ‘Sure. I brought these for you.’
    She placed the brown paper bag on the bed. Inside were two black tailored suits. They were newish and smart. Marie was overwhelmed.
    ‘Just what I needed. I was wondering what the hell I was supposed to wear to work. I guessed I would need new stuff.’
    ‘Well, I hope they fit. I put them aside when they came in as I thought they’d be ideal for you.’
    Marie was overcome with emotion. The kind act made her feel like breaking down and sobbing her heart out. It was so long since anyone had thought of her expressly it overwhelmed her.
    ‘I can’t thank you enough.’
    ‘You’ll have to get shoes, of course, but I think we have enough in the kitty to provide them. A couple of blouses and some tights and you should be OK for a while.’
    ‘I was going to go to Romford when I got paid and look round. I need a coat, a proper coat.’
    ‘A bit of make-up and you’ll look a million dollars.’
    ‘I don’t need makeup.’
    ‘True. What I wouldn’t give for your skin and eyes.’
    Marie was shaking her head in embarrassment.
    ‘I didn’t mean it that way …’
    Amanda laughed gently.
    ‘I know! I was only joking. But you are a very attractive woman.’
    ‘For all the good it’s ever done me.’
    The two women looked at each other for long moments.
    ‘This is a new life, Marie, and you have to embrace it. Leave the past right where it is - in the past.’
    48
     
    ‘I’m trying but it’s hard.’
    A little while later Marie was wearing one of the suits. It fitted like a glove and she knew she looked good in it. Her eyes strayed to the glass of wine Amanda had left on the bedside table. She picked it up and smelled it.
    The aroma was tart. It was cheap wine and she remembered drinking stuff just like this as a forerunner to going out when she was a girl. Carole and she would drink a litre of cheap Liebfraumilch to get them in the mood for the night’s events. They had to be out of their heads to enjoy themselves then. Drink made them lose their inhibitions, made them relax. She remembered the feeling as if it was yesterday.
    The temptation to take a sip of wine was strong. But she knew that one sip would lead to one glass and that in turn would lead to one bottle. She poured it down the sink and washed the glass out, then she went back and tried on the other suit.
    She felt good about herself. Better than she had in a long time. She could handle Alan Jarvis. She would keep the job and get a life. For the first time that seemed a possibility.
    When she finally went to bed she slept like a baby. The usual dreams and worries were put on hold for a while.
    She had made a start. Now she would take one step at a time.
    Tiffany was drunker than she had ever been in her life and she knew it. She had tracked Pat down to the gym and now he was looking at her as if he didn’t know her.
    The gym was closed, they were in his office. She started to strip off and he stopped her.
    ‘Leave it out. Tiff. I’m knackered. I have an appointment in a while anyway.’
    ‘You bastard! Who you going to see this time of night? A fucking