Read Online Even When You Lie to Me by Jessica Alcott - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jessica Alcott
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“Yeah!” in guttural moans.
Asha rolled her eyes. “Boys,” she said. “They do it to everyone.”
Lila looked up into the bleachers; I waved at her and she spotted me and waved back. Then she noticed Asha and frowned. Great.
“You want to get out of here?” Asha asked. “We can beat the crowd if we leave now. I think Dev’s more than ready to go.” He had already shuffled into the aisle and was motioning for us to hurry up.
“Oh, I think I might need to wait for Lila,” I said. I knew she’d be busy celebrating with her team afterward, but I wasn’t ready to be real, outside-school friends with Asha yet. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her; I did, despite Lila’s disapproval. It just made me clammy, how guileless and straightforward she was. She didn’t seem to care that I could reject her. I was much more comfortable with people who made me work for their affection.
Asha considered me. I tried not to flush. “Okay,” she said finally. “See you Monday?”
“See you,” I said. I watched them walk out. Dev turned back to wave and I waved too, feeling even guiltier now that Asha had caught me lying. I told myself I’d make it up to her somehow.
I waited a few minutes after they’d left to get up. When the doors closed behind me, it was like I’d plugged a hole; the noise and confusion was safely encapsulated on the other side.
“Ugh,” I said aloud.
“I know what you mean,” someone said, and I jumped. It was Ms. Anders, my trigonometry teacher. “Sorry, Charlotte,” she said. “I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”
“Oh, I—I didn’t think I needed to stay—”
“Oh, no, no, no,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Do what you want. I couldn’t stand these things when I was your age either.”
“Thanks. Um, have a good weekend, then.”
“I’ll walk out with you,” she said. “I need a cigarette anyway.” She fell in line beside me and we walked the few steps to the outer doors. When we got outside, she rummaged in her bag and dug out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. I was about to escape to my dad’s car when she said, “Are you liking trigonometry?”
“Yes,” I said automatically.
She looked up over the cigarette she was lighting. “It’s okay; you don’t have to lie.”
“Well, math’s not my best subject, I guess, but I’m enjoying it so far.” I hated every second of thinking about math, and Ms. Anders still didn’t have control of the class; she was lucky if she made it through a day without someone throwing something or trying to derail her.
She blew out a gray exhaust cloud of smoke. “I’m glad if that’s the case,” she said, clearly not believing me.
There was a silence as she inhaled deeply. I wondered how much longer I had to stand there.
“I don’t think I’m getting through to them,” she said.
“Oh, you are,” I said. “They just act like jerks sometimes.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, of course,” I lied. “It just, like…it just takes a while for some people to settle down.”
“Yeah,” she said. “So you like Tom, huh? Sorry—Mr. Drummond. I’ve seen you two talking.”
“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t realized they knew each other. “Yeah. He’s, uh…yeah.”
She laughed; smoke puffed out of her mouth. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She gazed up at the building. “You couldn’t pay me to do all this again,” she said after a minute. “I know it must be rough for you. And I guess you can see that not much changes.”
I knew she was trying to be nice, but somehow the fact that she included herself made it worse. I pitied her; I consoled myself sometimes that at least I
wasn’t
her.
“So you’re…you’re here for the whole year?” I asked.
“Oh,” she said. “Yes. Mrs. Morgan isn’t coming back.”
“Okay,” I said. “Good luck, then.”
She gave me a smile; her eyes looked glazed. She stubbed out her cigarette. “I’ll need it,” she said.
“So any initial
Asha rolled her eyes. “Boys,” she said. “They do it to everyone.”
Lila looked up into the bleachers; I waved at her and she spotted me and waved back. Then she noticed Asha and frowned. Great.
“You want to get out of here?” Asha asked. “We can beat the crowd if we leave now. I think Dev’s more than ready to go.” He had already shuffled into the aisle and was motioning for us to hurry up.
“Oh, I think I might need to wait for Lila,” I said. I knew she’d be busy celebrating with her team afterward, but I wasn’t ready to be real, outside-school friends with Asha yet. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her; I did, despite Lila’s disapproval. It just made me clammy, how guileless and straightforward she was. She didn’t seem to care that I could reject her. I was much more comfortable with people who made me work for their affection.
Asha considered me. I tried not to flush. “Okay,” she said finally. “See you Monday?”
“See you,” I said. I watched them walk out. Dev turned back to wave and I waved too, feeling even guiltier now that Asha had caught me lying. I told myself I’d make it up to her somehow.
I waited a few minutes after they’d left to get up. When the doors closed behind me, it was like I’d plugged a hole; the noise and confusion was safely encapsulated on the other side.
“Ugh,” I said aloud.
“I know what you mean,” someone said, and I jumped. It was Ms. Anders, my trigonometry teacher. “Sorry, Charlotte,” she said. “I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”
“Oh, I—I didn’t think I needed to stay—”
“Oh, no, no, no,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Do what you want. I couldn’t stand these things when I was your age either.”
“Thanks. Um, have a good weekend, then.”
“I’ll walk out with you,” she said. “I need a cigarette anyway.” She fell in line beside me and we walked the few steps to the outer doors. When we got outside, she rummaged in her bag and dug out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. I was about to escape to my dad’s car when she said, “Are you liking trigonometry?”
“Yes,” I said automatically.
She looked up over the cigarette she was lighting. “It’s okay; you don’t have to lie.”
“Well, math’s not my best subject, I guess, but I’m enjoying it so far.” I hated every second of thinking about math, and Ms. Anders still didn’t have control of the class; she was lucky if she made it through a day without someone throwing something or trying to derail her.
She blew out a gray exhaust cloud of smoke. “I’m glad if that’s the case,” she said, clearly not believing me.
There was a silence as she inhaled deeply. I wondered how much longer I had to stand there.
“I don’t think I’m getting through to them,” she said.
“Oh, you are,” I said. “They just act like jerks sometimes.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, of course,” I lied. “It just, like…it just takes a while for some people to settle down.”
“Yeah,” she said. “So you like Tom, huh? Sorry—Mr. Drummond. I’ve seen you two talking.”
“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t realized they knew each other. “Yeah. He’s, uh…yeah.”
She laughed; smoke puffed out of her mouth. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She gazed up at the building. “You couldn’t pay me to do all this again,” she said after a minute. “I know it must be rough for you. And I guess you can see that not much changes.”
I knew she was trying to be nice, but somehow the fact that she included herself made it worse. I pitied her; I consoled myself sometimes that at least I
wasn’t
her.
“So you’re…you’re here for the whole year?” I asked.
“Oh,” she said. “Yes. Mrs. Morgan isn’t coming back.”
“Okay,” I said. “Good luck, then.”
She gave me a smile; her eyes looked glazed. She stubbed out her cigarette. “I’ll need it,” she said.
“So any initial
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