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to bring food in here. And I’ve trained him since he was little to be careful of everything. He’s a great respecter of order. Besides, he doesn’t come in here much. He has his bedroom – that’s untidy enough. And his playroom, of course.’ She dipped her head again, and jotted something down on the notepad.
    ‘Right,’ murmured Sophie. Oliver’s bedroom untidy? Knowing Rachel, it was probably spotless, books on shelves, toys tidied away, dressing-gown hung up, slippers neatly together, pyjamas folded beneath the pillow. She thought of Josh and Billy’s bedroom, the chaos of Action Men and toy cars and trucks strewn across the carpet, the overstuffed plastic dustbin of soft toys, and the mess of books and clothes. She took another sip of wine.
    ‘So, where do we start?’
    ‘Well …’ Rachel gazed doubtfully at the notepad on her knee. ‘I thought if I made a list. You know, of necessary qualities. The kind of things I’m looking for in a man.’
    Sophie nodded. ‘Fire away.’
    ‘Well, he has to be educated, obviously. And to be a professional of some kind.’
    ‘No proles, plumbers or scaffolders.’
    ‘I’m not being a snob, or anything. It’s just—’
    Sophie waved this away. ‘I know you’re not. Carry on.’
    ‘He has to be intelligent, well read, interesting, fond of cinema, books, theatre, that kind of thing.’
    ‘Looks?’
    ‘Oh, you know …’
    Sophie gazed at Rachel sitting there with her head on one side, fabulous cheekbones etched by the light, her dark hair framing her face, thoughtful blue eyes contemplating the mysterious charms of some unknown lover. How could any man handle such perfection? It wasn’t just the way Rachel looked. It was everything about her. She was so meticulous in every aspect of her life that to Sophie it sometimes seemed scary. Her house, for instance, the immaculate way she always dressed. Sophie remembered the first time she’d met Rachel at a school play, how intimidated she’d been by her cool, crisp appearance. Yet the Rachel she had come to know wasn’t cool. Not really. Her apparent reserve masked a hesitant, loving nature that longed to be impulsive, but was somehow restrained. Passion strangled at birth.
    ‘Tall, but not too tall,’ Rachel went on. ‘Good-looking – whatever that is. God, that’s awful, isn’t it? I mean, so vague … But it’s hard. You just know it when you see it, don’t you?’
    Sophie reached down and refilled her own glass and Rachel’s. The trouble was, the girl was still in love with her ex-husband. She might as well be listing the qualities of the legendary Leo.
    ‘I’m not sure this list is going to get us anywhere,’ said Sophie. ‘Why don’t we cut to the chase?’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘You need to find out what’s out there.’ Sophie got up. ‘Come on, take me to where your computer lives.’
    Rachel rose obediently and took Sophie to her study. They sat down at the computer. Sophie issued commands.
    ‘OK, type in www-dot-telegraph-dot-co-dot-uk- slash-onlinedating .’ Rachel hesitated. ‘Go on!’
    ‘Why
The Telegraph
?’
    ‘Don’t worry, we’ll do
The Guardian
as well. And
The Times
. We just have to start somewhere. OK, now here’s where you register—’ She glanced at Rachel. ‘What’s the problem?’
    Rachel made a face. ‘I’m not sure if this is what I want to do. It wasn’t what I had in mind.’
    ‘So you were just going to make a list of desirable characteristics and put it under your pillow, and hope the right man would magically reveal himself in your dreams? Come on – get real.’
    Rachel sighed. ‘What do I do next?’
    ‘You register. And then all you have to do is tick the boxes, say what you’re looking for. Look – they even let you specify Oxbridge-educated, if you want.’
    ‘Leo went to Bristol,’ said Rachel. She looked at Sophie. ‘Oh God – forget I said that.’
    ‘Come on,’ said Sophie. ‘Get ticking.’
    It was well after eleven by