Read Online Equilibrium (Marauders #4.5) by Lina Andersson - Free Book Online Page A

seem likely that someone became an addict in a few months. At least I didn’t think so. He’d told me a little about how he grew up; that he’d been living on the streets with his sister since he was just a kid. I took a deep breath before looking at him again.
    “What are you landing at?” he asked. “Am I freaking you out?”
    “No. Just… I guess I’ve been pretty sheltered.”
    “You think?” he laughed, and I glared at him. “That’s not a bad thing. You’re lucky.”
    “Yeah. Super lucky,” I mumbled.
    “Hey, Princess, none of that shit. Look at me,” he added just as he always did when he was about to say something serious. I’d asked him about that, and he’d said he needed to see my eyes to see how I was reacting. So I did. “I didn’t mean it like that, but if you narrow it down to the basics, you are lucky. You have people around you who are doing everything they can to help you, and you’ve had that your entire life. Bad shit happened to you, I know it did, and I get what it means, but you’ve got every chance to get better.”
    “You don’t know what it means,” I said. “What it’s like.”
    “Sure I do. Difference between you and me is that after it happened to me, I washed myself off in a public bathroom and huffed some glue to forget about it. So I definitely know a thing or two about escaping reality with the help of chemicals. And why it sometimes feels like a good solution.”
    I stared at him. Had he just said that? And he didn’t even sound, like, embarrassed. Not that he should’ve, it wasn’t his fault, but still. And then I got pissed. So his story was—what?—more sad than mine, so I shouldn’t complain? I shouldn’t feel bad because it could’ve been worse?
    Fuck that!
    I stood up and was about halfway to the clubhouse when he cut me off.
    “What?” he asked. “Don’t just run off. Talk to me.”
    “So I’ve been all sheltered, and I’m lucky, so I shouldn’t wallow in pity. Is that what you’re saying?”
    “Did I say that? No, I didn’t fucking say that. You need to start listening to what I’m saying.”
    “Then what are you saying?”
    “That I get it. I know what it’s like, and I think you’ve got every fucking shot at getting better, get good even. And that you’re lucky that you have all these people around you who are there to help you, and that you’re lucky to have had a good life.”
    I was never sure if he was nice or assholey, or a combination.
    “You make that sound like a bad thing. Like something I should apologies for.”
    He stared at me, and then he smiled. “Damn, you’re good,” he muttered and scratched his neck.
    “What?”
    “No hiding anything from you. I guess I am… Not saying that you should apologize for it, but I’m jealous of what you’ve had.” He laughed a little. “And for the record, I’m usually pretty good at hiding shit, and you being all… flimsy before made me think you were…”
    “Dense?” I asked. “People usually think that.”
    “I wasn’t gonna say dense . A bit of an airhead maybe.”
    “That’s the same thing, Roach.”
    “A spoiled brat, then?” he smiled when he said it, but then his face got serious. “I’m sorry.”
    We stood there for a long time. He was clearly still waiting for me to make a decision, and I was taking my time. I was thinking about what he’d actually said, and I guess that it did have a ring of jealousy in it, and even if he’d been rude about it, he’d been right. And he’d told me about himself, and I’d just…
    “I’m sorry, too,” I said.
    “About what?” he asked, and he looked like he honestly didn’t understand. “For having grown up sheltered? That’s hardly your fault, or something you should be sorry about.”
    “No, you told me something private, and I walked out on you. Or… you know, tried to.”
    “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with my shit, I’m fine, so don’t worry about hurting my feelings. I can take