you actually feel that way. I’m the one that’s sorry. So damn sorry I hurt you so badly. That we hurt you.”
Bawling again and gasping for air, Mira climbs over the arm of the chair, onto the
floor with me, and crawls in my lap. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she sobs hysterically
until only small whimpers pass her lips. I should have known. This is the way it
always was with Mira. She needs to be the one to come to you and not vice versa—her
own semblance of control in any given situation.
“Shhhh, I’ve got you. Shhhh,” I soothingly say, rubbing small circles on her back,
offering whatever kind of comfort I can. This is a fucked up situation for everyone,
I just never knew she took it so hard.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says, lifting her head, our eyes meeting. For the
first time since before the accident, I can actually see into her soul again. She’s
just as broken as me over all of this. The only difference is I can see the overpowering
happiness that being with Skylar provides her. Those two really do belong together,
no matter how I feel about it.
“I know. You’re a good person. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. I shouldn’t have said that.
It was stupid and careless.”
“Your feelings are never stupid. I was dumb to think that we could ever go back to
being friends like that,” she says, snapping her fingers. “I didn’t think of how
talking to you about Skylar would make you feel. You hate me for what I did.” Mira
pulls her knees tight against her chest, rocking softly in the confines of my arms.
“I could never hate you. The exact opposite, in fact. You’re my first love and I’ll always carry that with me. I just got caught in the
crossfire of destiny, that’s all. But you are right. Things won’t ever be the same again.”
For the first time in six months, I’m saying what needs to be said. It’s a sad realization,
but even more than that, it’s liberating. I think this is the closure I was seeking
all those months, wondering if Mira would think she made a mistake and come back to
me. Sitting back and thinking about it now, Skylar and Mira have a kind of love that
nobody— nothing —can stop. They’re destined to be together. I was only delaying the inevitable.
That’s the crazy thing about hindsight—you never realize it until after all the suffering.
“What do we do now?” Mira asks, standing up and walking to the hallway mirror. She
pulls a small compact from her purse and attempts to fix the after effects of crying.
I probably should tell her that nothing’s going to get rid of those puffy eyes or
flushed cheeks, but it’s too much fun watching her try.
“You’re going to fix whatever problems you and Skylar are having. You hurting me,
you being upset over hurting me, months of trying to get back to a sense of normalcy—don’t
let it all be in vain.”
“I won’t. I’ll figure out how to fix it. But what about you? What are you going to do?” She eyes me in the reflection of the mirror, still trying
to un-puff her eyes.
“I got a job offer in New York a few days ago. Mel and I talked about it and I think
I’m going to take it. I’m not sure if she’s going to come with me or not, but I know
I want this opportunity. Working in one of the largest accounting firms in the country
has always been a dream of mine. Living in New York City will just be a perk.” Mira’s
face falls again and more tears line her lower lid.
“I’ll miss you,” she says softly, walking back into the living room. She sinks into
the chair and fiddles with the strings of the quilt lying across the arm.
I’m sure the bread and coffee I gave her helped sober her up. Well, sober enough
not to yak all over my car. Standing, I reach for her hand, pulling her out of the
chair. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”
I show a weak smile and assist Mira to the door. While she’s putting on her shoes,
I
Bawling again and gasping for air, Mira climbs over the arm of the chair, onto the
floor with me, and crawls in my lap. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she sobs hysterically
until only small whimpers pass her lips. I should have known. This is the way it
always was with Mira. She needs to be the one to come to you and not vice versa—her
own semblance of control in any given situation.
“Shhhh, I’ve got you. Shhhh,” I soothingly say, rubbing small circles on her back,
offering whatever kind of comfort I can. This is a fucked up situation for everyone,
I just never knew she took it so hard.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says, lifting her head, our eyes meeting. For the
first time since before the accident, I can actually see into her soul again. She’s
just as broken as me over all of this. The only difference is I can see the overpowering
happiness that being with Skylar provides her. Those two really do belong together,
no matter how I feel about it.
“I know. You’re a good person. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. I shouldn’t have said that.
It was stupid and careless.”
“Your feelings are never stupid. I was dumb to think that we could ever go back to
being friends like that,” she says, snapping her fingers. “I didn’t think of how
talking to you about Skylar would make you feel. You hate me for what I did.” Mira
pulls her knees tight against her chest, rocking softly in the confines of my arms.
“I could never hate you. The exact opposite, in fact. You’re my first love and I’ll always carry that with me. I just got caught in the
crossfire of destiny, that’s all. But you are right. Things won’t ever be the same again.”
For the first time in six months, I’m saying what needs to be said. It’s a sad realization,
but even more than that, it’s liberating. I think this is the closure I was seeking
all those months, wondering if Mira would think she made a mistake and come back to
me. Sitting back and thinking about it now, Skylar and Mira have a kind of love that
nobody— nothing —can stop. They’re destined to be together. I was only delaying the inevitable.
That’s the crazy thing about hindsight—you never realize it until after all the suffering.
“What do we do now?” Mira asks, standing up and walking to the hallway mirror. She
pulls a small compact from her purse and attempts to fix the after effects of crying.
I probably should tell her that nothing’s going to get rid of those puffy eyes or
flushed cheeks, but it’s too much fun watching her try.
“You’re going to fix whatever problems you and Skylar are having. You hurting me,
you being upset over hurting me, months of trying to get back to a sense of normalcy—don’t
let it all be in vain.”
“I won’t. I’ll figure out how to fix it. But what about you? What are you going to do?” She eyes me in the reflection of the mirror, still trying
to un-puff her eyes.
“I got a job offer in New York a few days ago. Mel and I talked about it and I think
I’m going to take it. I’m not sure if she’s going to come with me or not, but I know
I want this opportunity. Working in one of the largest accounting firms in the country
has always been a dream of mine. Living in New York City will just be a perk.” Mira’s
face falls again and more tears line her lower lid.
“I’ll miss you,” she says softly, walking back into the living room. She sinks into
the chair and fiddles with the strings of the quilt lying across the arm.
I’m sure the bread and coffee I gave her helped sober her up. Well, sober enough
not to yak all over my car. Standing, I reach for her hand, pulling her out of the
chair. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”
I show a weak smile and assist Mira to the door. While she’s putting on her shoes,
I
Similar Books
