countered.
“And look how well that has worked for him so far,” I shot back. “Tell me how making snide remarks to Drew or to the senator will make anything better for anyone.”
He sighed as he rested his head on the back of the sofa. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “It just feels like my silence is my compliance. If I don’t belittle what they’re doing, then in some significant way I agree with it.” His eyes met mine. “ You’ve read his platform and heard his speeches. Do you agree with what they are proposing?”
“Of course not,” I said. “But we’re not there for us. We’re there for Jonathan. Regardless of how you feel about Drew, he’s still his father. That’s a big deal. You keep drilling it into Jonathan’s head that his father is a bad man and it undermines Jonathan’s self-esteem because that is where he comes from. Why do you think I insisted that neither Drew nor Elise speak poorly of one another in Jonathan’s presence?” He looked away with a sigh. I knew that he knew I was right. “Filters are our friends. You don’t need to express a thought or feeling the instant that you have it, especially if it serves no other purpose than to tear down a person or an idea.”
He offered a small smile. “Some might argue that certain people and ideas need to be torn down.”
“And some might be looking at the bigger picture,” I retorted. “This isn’t about politics. It’s about a little boy.” My eyes scanned his face as I thought about the boxes tucked away in the garage, mementoes of Drew’s and Alex’s past. “All three of you.”
He chuckled. “You sure don’t make it easy, do you?”
It was my turn to smile. “Teachers are supposed to force you outside of your comfort zones.”
“Fine,” he relented at last. “I’ll behave, Teach. No dunce cap required.”
I held up my hand. “Pinky swear?”
His eyes met mine. Slowly he brought his hand up to link pinkies with mine, his finger crooked around my much smaller one, holding me tight in his secure grip. “Pinky swear,” he said in a voice so soft that it made my nerve endings hum. He held my hand a beat longer than necessary, until I gently disentangled myself with a slight clearing of my throat.
“Good,” I managed. I feigned a yawn and escaped to my bedroom, where I stayed until I knew that Alex had left for the track the following day.
This was simply how our weekends worked. Without Jonathan there, I would help Millicent out around the house with whatever weekly chores that needed to be done, something she insisted on doing personally because she had never become accustomed to having a housekeeper do it for her. Alex was either at the track with his horses, or on the road to find another for the stables. He had even flown to England to visit his mother’s family over one weekend, to acquire new horses to train.
I knew he was doing anything and everything to avoid going into Mexico, to a horse ranch recommended by Drew, simply because of all the discord from Teton Tech.
It gave me some downtime on the weekend, when I wasn’t chasing after any Fullerton men, except maybe for Max… who followed me around like a little duckling. I would catch Millicent watching us with a sad expression on her face, and I knew she was thinking about her deceased daughter, Nina, who had never been a part of Max’s life. I tried only once to disengage, but Millicent was quick to respond.
“Don’t you dare pull away from a child who needs you,” she scolded with loving firmness. “It’s nobody’s fault that his mother isn’t here with us anymore. Why punish him, or you, for his finding what he needs from someone who so clearly loves him?”
And it was true. Jonathan now shared the title of my favorite boy with the rambunctious four-year-old who was more determined and independent than most children who didn’t face his particular challenges. He would cuddle in my arms as I read him story after story, and he
“And look how well that has worked for him so far,” I shot back. “Tell me how making snide remarks to Drew or to the senator will make anything better for anyone.”
He sighed as he rested his head on the back of the sofa. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “It just feels like my silence is my compliance. If I don’t belittle what they’re doing, then in some significant way I agree with it.” His eyes met mine. “ You’ve read his platform and heard his speeches. Do you agree with what they are proposing?”
“Of course not,” I said. “But we’re not there for us. We’re there for Jonathan. Regardless of how you feel about Drew, he’s still his father. That’s a big deal. You keep drilling it into Jonathan’s head that his father is a bad man and it undermines Jonathan’s self-esteem because that is where he comes from. Why do you think I insisted that neither Drew nor Elise speak poorly of one another in Jonathan’s presence?” He looked away with a sigh. I knew that he knew I was right. “Filters are our friends. You don’t need to express a thought or feeling the instant that you have it, especially if it serves no other purpose than to tear down a person or an idea.”
He offered a small smile. “Some might argue that certain people and ideas need to be torn down.”
“And some might be looking at the bigger picture,” I retorted. “This isn’t about politics. It’s about a little boy.” My eyes scanned his face as I thought about the boxes tucked away in the garage, mementoes of Drew’s and Alex’s past. “All three of you.”
He chuckled. “You sure don’t make it easy, do you?”
It was my turn to smile. “Teachers are supposed to force you outside of your comfort zones.”
“Fine,” he relented at last. “I’ll behave, Teach. No dunce cap required.”
I held up my hand. “Pinky swear?”
His eyes met mine. Slowly he brought his hand up to link pinkies with mine, his finger crooked around my much smaller one, holding me tight in his secure grip. “Pinky swear,” he said in a voice so soft that it made my nerve endings hum. He held my hand a beat longer than necessary, until I gently disentangled myself with a slight clearing of my throat.
“Good,” I managed. I feigned a yawn and escaped to my bedroom, where I stayed until I knew that Alex had left for the track the following day.
This was simply how our weekends worked. Without Jonathan there, I would help Millicent out around the house with whatever weekly chores that needed to be done, something she insisted on doing personally because she had never become accustomed to having a housekeeper do it for her. Alex was either at the track with his horses, or on the road to find another for the stables. He had even flown to England to visit his mother’s family over one weekend, to acquire new horses to train.
I knew he was doing anything and everything to avoid going into Mexico, to a horse ranch recommended by Drew, simply because of all the discord from Teton Tech.
It gave me some downtime on the weekend, when I wasn’t chasing after any Fullerton men, except maybe for Max… who followed me around like a little duckling. I would catch Millicent watching us with a sad expression on her face, and I knew she was thinking about her deceased daughter, Nina, who had never been a part of Max’s life. I tried only once to disengage, but Millicent was quick to respond.
“Don’t you dare pull away from a child who needs you,” she scolded with loving firmness. “It’s nobody’s fault that his mother isn’t here with us anymore. Why punish him, or you, for his finding what he needs from someone who so clearly loves him?”
And it was true. Jonathan now shared the title of my favorite boy with the rambunctious four-year-old who was more determined and independent than most children who didn’t face his particular challenges. He would cuddle in my arms as I read him story after story, and he
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