living the life of a small human girl.
“She came here while she still ruled,” Hubert corrects. “Long before the Alice brat wormed her way into the rabbit hole and caused all the mayhem and Red’s downfall.”
My tongue dries. I take a gulp of water. “Why would Red have come to the human realm
before
the Alice incident?”
“Are you daft? She visited because she was lonely. Her husband was betraying her. Seemed like she forgot herself after that, along with the kindness her royal parents had once instilled. She even forgot how to make friends of her own kind.”
Red’s disgruntled and discarded memories shadow my thoughts. Hubert doesn’t know how right he is about her forgetfulness, or how deliberate it was.
“The only way she could believe someone was loyal,” the egg-man continues, “was if they were indebted to her. Seems that’s the only way anyone in your bloodline can secure devotion. Just as you did by closing up the rabbit hole. Now we’re all dependent on you to open a way back, so we can’t possibly shrink you to bug size and squash you under our shoes as we’d like.”
Hubert’s voice is shrill and echoing. The lizard creature and his woolly companion snap their gazes to us. The moment they see me, they grimace.
“I’m
nothing
like Red,” I growl, surprised at the rage behind the words.
Although, technically, I did bully the carpet beetle conductor to get my way . . . and I did force my dad to eat a mushroom and ride a butterfly across the world to London. But it was for the greater good.
I clamp my jaw. “I’m not a tyrant like her. I’m just . . . determined.”
“As was she. Determined to improve our world. She went so far as to study the humans, as if they’re better than us somehow. Something
we
should aspire to be.” The egg-man looks over my shoulder. “Those wings aren’t the only proof of your heritage. You’re a traitor, sending us all up river so you could save your petty mortal half. You’re nothing short of a—”
“Benedict,” I interrupt between clenched teeth.
Hubert’s eyes narrow—curious and hate-filled.
“
Eggs
Benedict.” I point to a picture on the menu. “Poached eggs. Canadian bacon. Hollandaise sauce and an English muffin. And I’d like a side of fruit.”
He snatches the menu, then scribbles my order on his pad.
“Also, for the record,” I add, shifting my attention to the glaring netherling patrons, “I’m here to open the portals and the rabbit hole again. The wraiths misunderstood me and sealed up everything.” I shudder a little at the thought of the nightmarish phantom creatures and their ear-gutting wails. “I’m going to reverse it all. I’m here to make things better.”
“Of course,” Hubert scoffs. “Just like Red was going to make Wonderland
better
. But hers was a warped idea of improvement as well. She even took up with a human and started spouting off things better left secret.”
A strange intuition pecks at my brain. “What human?”
“His name was Dodgson. Known by most of your kind as that author fellow . . . Lewis Carroll.”
I press my spine into my chair and stare at Hubert in disbelief. “You’re trying to tell me that Queen Red knew Lewis Carroll. Personally.
Before
Alice Liddell ever found her way to Wonderland.”
Hubert’s yellow gaze darkens like dried yolks. “As I heard it, Red put on the glamour of a male professor and befriended Dodgson at some fancy university here in Oxford. They had endless philosophical discussions about a magical realm and where there might be an entrance. Red helped Dodgson come up with a mathematical formula to find the longitude and latitude of the gateway. It’s how Dodgson discovered this inn. Perchance you should question Rabid, seeing as he was a part of it all and is
your
royal advisor now.” The egg-man purses his mouth and taps his lip. “Oh, wait. He’s stuck in Wonderland, and there isn’t any way there or out, thanks to you. So I guess
“She came here while she still ruled,” Hubert corrects. “Long before the Alice brat wormed her way into the rabbit hole and caused all the mayhem and Red’s downfall.”
My tongue dries. I take a gulp of water. “Why would Red have come to the human realm
before
the Alice incident?”
“Are you daft? She visited because she was lonely. Her husband was betraying her. Seemed like she forgot herself after that, along with the kindness her royal parents had once instilled. She even forgot how to make friends of her own kind.”
Red’s disgruntled and discarded memories shadow my thoughts. Hubert doesn’t know how right he is about her forgetfulness, or how deliberate it was.
“The only way she could believe someone was loyal,” the egg-man continues, “was if they were indebted to her. Seems that’s the only way anyone in your bloodline can secure devotion. Just as you did by closing up the rabbit hole. Now we’re all dependent on you to open a way back, so we can’t possibly shrink you to bug size and squash you under our shoes as we’d like.”
Hubert’s voice is shrill and echoing. The lizard creature and his woolly companion snap their gazes to us. The moment they see me, they grimace.
“I’m
nothing
like Red,” I growl, surprised at the rage behind the words.
Although, technically, I did bully the carpet beetle conductor to get my way . . . and I did force my dad to eat a mushroom and ride a butterfly across the world to London. But it was for the greater good.
I clamp my jaw. “I’m not a tyrant like her. I’m just . . . determined.”
“As was she. Determined to improve our world. She went so far as to study the humans, as if they’re better than us somehow. Something
we
should aspire to be.” The egg-man looks over my shoulder. “Those wings aren’t the only proof of your heritage. You’re a traitor, sending us all up river so you could save your petty mortal half. You’re nothing short of a—”
“Benedict,” I interrupt between clenched teeth.
Hubert’s eyes narrow—curious and hate-filled.
“
Eggs
Benedict.” I point to a picture on the menu. “Poached eggs. Canadian bacon. Hollandaise sauce and an English muffin. And I’d like a side of fruit.”
He snatches the menu, then scribbles my order on his pad.
“Also, for the record,” I add, shifting my attention to the glaring netherling patrons, “I’m here to open the portals and the rabbit hole again. The wraiths misunderstood me and sealed up everything.” I shudder a little at the thought of the nightmarish phantom creatures and their ear-gutting wails. “I’m going to reverse it all. I’m here to make things better.”
“Of course,” Hubert scoffs. “Just like Red was going to make Wonderland
better
. But hers was a warped idea of improvement as well. She even took up with a human and started spouting off things better left secret.”
A strange intuition pecks at my brain. “What human?”
“His name was Dodgson. Known by most of your kind as that author fellow . . . Lewis Carroll.”
I press my spine into my chair and stare at Hubert in disbelief. “You’re trying to tell me that Queen Red knew Lewis Carroll. Personally.
Before
Alice Liddell ever found her way to Wonderland.”
Hubert’s yellow gaze darkens like dried yolks. “As I heard it, Red put on the glamour of a male professor and befriended Dodgson at some fancy university here in Oxford. They had endless philosophical discussions about a magical realm and where there might be an entrance. Red helped Dodgson come up with a mathematical formula to find the longitude and latitude of the gateway. It’s how Dodgson discovered this inn. Perchance you should question Rabid, seeing as he was a part of it all and is
your
royal advisor now.” The egg-man purses his mouth and taps his lip. “Oh, wait. He’s stuck in Wonderland, and there isn’t any way there or out, thanks to you. So I guess
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