and squeezed.
“I’m not mad at you. I thought you were mad at me because I was telling you to lay off the alcohol and you didn’t tell me you were moving. That hurt.” He said.
“I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.” I said.
We’ re really close, so close that I feel his breath on my cheek. I nestled my head onto his chest and inhaled. We use to spend a lot of time like this. I need something normal in my life. I need this. He didn’t tell me to move so I guess he doesn’t mind.
My eyes fluttered close t hen I fell asleep. I feel safe. I know that when I’m with Bryan nothing bad can happen to me. Nothing.
I wok e up around three.
“Well , I thought you would never wake up.” Bryan said.
“Ohmy god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep so easily and for so long.” I moved my head to a pillow and glared at him.
“Em, it’s al l right. It was nice spending time like this. I mean…I’m not a creep who watches beautiful woman sleep.” I smiled as our eyes met. “I didn’t know that you talked in your sleep though.” I widened my eyes in horror. What could I have said? I hope I didn’t talk about what happened. “Well you didn’t really talk, you groaned and I swear you were going to punch me. Bad dream?” I put my hands to my mouth. Zach.
“Hold on.” I got up and went t o the bathroom down the hall. I should just tell him, right? Zach was an asshole anyway, he deserved that punch. What he did to me when we dated, he deserved more than that punch.
I walked back to Bryan’s room and laid back down on his bed. “I didn’t tell you what happened at school with Zach.” I said. He moved closer to me and put his hand on my arm.
“Are you okay? He didn’t…” I told him about Zach abusing me. Bryan called it abuse…I called it letting anger out. I don’t really care what it was called. Zach just kind of slapped me one day. It’s not a big deal. It just happened and then it was over. Bryan wanted to knock some sense into Zach but I told him to drop it, he became very protective of me after that.
“No… he didn’t. But he said a few things and I…I punched him.”
“What? You are never violent… with anybody.” I looked down at his shirt. That’s what I thought too. “What did he say?” It took me a while to answer. It was getting dark in his room so it was harder to see his face when I looked up at him. “Em, what did he say?”
“You know this and that. Don’t worry about it. I dealt with it.” I said turning on my back and staring at the ceiling. “I think he tried to kiss me. I tried pushing him off but he wouldn’t move. I slapped him then he said… forget it.” I said.
“W hat is it?” Bryan asked propping himself up on his elbow.
“Do you believe the rumors at school?” I asked glancing at him, squinting to see if I could locate his eyes. “That I sleep around?”
“How could you ask me that , Em? You know I don’t believe them.”
I actually do n’t know. I can’t read minds.
“You can tell me the truth. I won’t b e mad.” I lied. If he really does believe them, I don’t know what I would do. But I do want to know.
“No, I never believed them. I know you. You’re not that kind of girl.” He said. My heart skipped a beat.
I grabbed onto a piece of his shirt and played with it. “At the party…the one where I kissed you… I had the biggest crush on you. I told you this but hear me out.” I said. He was silent so I took that as my cue to go ahead. “I had the biggest crush on you but I was with Zach. I wasn’t happy with him. Not all the time. I always wondered if maybe life would have been different if I went out with you.” I let out a breath. “We had this fight because I was drinking and he left me there. You were there for me. You’re always there for me. After I kissed you, all the rumors started and I had to let you go. I always thought that maybe you believed them and you wouldn’t want to be with me. But
“I’m not mad at you. I thought you were mad at me because I was telling you to lay off the alcohol and you didn’t tell me you were moving. That hurt.” He said.
“I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.” I said.
We’ re really close, so close that I feel his breath on my cheek. I nestled my head onto his chest and inhaled. We use to spend a lot of time like this. I need something normal in my life. I need this. He didn’t tell me to move so I guess he doesn’t mind.
My eyes fluttered close t hen I fell asleep. I feel safe. I know that when I’m with Bryan nothing bad can happen to me. Nothing.
I wok e up around three.
“Well , I thought you would never wake up.” Bryan said.
“Ohmy god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep so easily and for so long.” I moved my head to a pillow and glared at him.
“Em, it’s al l right. It was nice spending time like this. I mean…I’m not a creep who watches beautiful woman sleep.” I smiled as our eyes met. “I didn’t know that you talked in your sleep though.” I widened my eyes in horror. What could I have said? I hope I didn’t talk about what happened. “Well you didn’t really talk, you groaned and I swear you were going to punch me. Bad dream?” I put my hands to my mouth. Zach.
“Hold on.” I got up and went t o the bathroom down the hall. I should just tell him, right? Zach was an asshole anyway, he deserved that punch. What he did to me when we dated, he deserved more than that punch.
I walked back to Bryan’s room and laid back down on his bed. “I didn’t tell you what happened at school with Zach.” I said. He moved closer to me and put his hand on my arm.
“Are you okay? He didn’t…” I told him about Zach abusing me. Bryan called it abuse…I called it letting anger out. I don’t really care what it was called. Zach just kind of slapped me one day. It’s not a big deal. It just happened and then it was over. Bryan wanted to knock some sense into Zach but I told him to drop it, he became very protective of me after that.
“No… he didn’t. But he said a few things and I…I punched him.”
“What? You are never violent… with anybody.” I looked down at his shirt. That’s what I thought too. “What did he say?” It took me a while to answer. It was getting dark in his room so it was harder to see his face when I looked up at him. “Em, what did he say?”
“You know this and that. Don’t worry about it. I dealt with it.” I said turning on my back and staring at the ceiling. “I think he tried to kiss me. I tried pushing him off but he wouldn’t move. I slapped him then he said… forget it.” I said.
“W hat is it?” Bryan asked propping himself up on his elbow.
“Do you believe the rumors at school?” I asked glancing at him, squinting to see if I could locate his eyes. “That I sleep around?”
“How could you ask me that , Em? You know I don’t believe them.”
I actually do n’t know. I can’t read minds.
“You can tell me the truth. I won’t b e mad.” I lied. If he really does believe them, I don’t know what I would do. But I do want to know.
“No, I never believed them. I know you. You’re not that kind of girl.” He said. My heart skipped a beat.
I grabbed onto a piece of his shirt and played with it. “At the party…the one where I kissed you… I had the biggest crush on you. I told you this but hear me out.” I said. He was silent so I took that as my cue to go ahead. “I had the biggest crush on you but I was with Zach. I wasn’t happy with him. Not all the time. I always wondered if maybe life would have been different if I went out with you.” I let out a breath. “We had this fight because I was drinking and he left me there. You were there for me. You’re always there for me. After I kissed you, all the rumors started and I had to let you go. I always thought that maybe you believed them and you wouldn’t want to be with me. But
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