still.
“Where the fuck you been?” He sat up.
“Why didn’t you answer your cell?”
I stood by the door, facing away from
him. “You know I hate talking on the phone,” I said.
I heard him inhale. He smelled the
kill. “So did you kill her or make her?” he demanded.
“Neither.” I spun around to face
him.
“Hey, asshole don’t get pissy with me.
I’m not the one who went out and ate alone. Selfish dick!” He
reached for his cigarettes and lighter. He lit up, took a deep drag
and blew the smoke upward in a straight line. Then he looked at me.
“So what happened?”
“What? You need to know everything?
What are you, my fucking shrink? Are you going to ask if I want to
talk about it?” I folded my arms across my chest and glared at
him.
“Hey man, don’t take it personal.
You’ve got to admit, you’ve been acting pretty fucking weird since
she showed up. I just want to make sure that I don’t get killed by
the Quatre because of your ass.”
When he mentioned the Quatre I saw the
flipbook of images again, ending with Sara as a little girl. There
was something important in that picture but my mind couldn’t grasp
it. Then the picture blurred, and I wasn’t sure if I’d seen
anything. The flashing images were starting to piss me off. I
growled and clenched my jaw.
Jason heard my growl, rolled his eyes,
and flicked the ash from his cigarette. He pinched the bridge of
his nose, and sighed.
Finally I said: “Nothing happened. I
went to her house. I talked with her about the same stuff she
would’ve learned if she’d come to the workshop.” I stopped, hoping
that would cover it. I understood Jason’s intentions, but I wasn’t
going to tell him everything. Ash had affected him too, and I
wasn’t sure how. I just knew that his aura had taken on a strange
tone. It was as if he were radiating corruption.
My answer only sparked more interest.
“Really?” he said. “You talked to her? And she knows? Then what is
she?”
He was jealous. It had taken me a
moment to see that, but the churning colors in his aura could have
no other explanation. I didn’t know why. “She understands that she
is an incarnate,” I said, “but she doesn’t know much about what
kind of incarnate she is. She’s decided to have a private
meditation session on Saturday. I’m doing it at her place. After
that I’m hoping she’ll understand.” I closed my eyes, lowered my
head, and tried to envision what she could be.
Suddenly I understood Jason’s jealousy.
Just as vampires were encouraged to only mate with other vampires,
the same was true for incarnates. It made life simpler, eliminating
the need for secrecy. There were only a few female incarnates in
our part of the world, and the ones that weren’t already taken had
rejected Jason. He fucked up with every woman he found, but that
didn’t change the fact that he was looking for a mate.
“Do you think that I could tag along?”
Jason asked, taking another drag off his cigarette.
My heart sank. I had strong feelings
for Ash, and I felt like ripping his head off for even thinking of
her like that. It was like a blow to the stomach. Yet I knew he was
right. Jason wanted a partner. By law she was right for him, not
me. I was supposed to continue fucking and killing humans as
needed. After all, how could someone actually care about a monster
like me?
“Sure. Why not,” I said.
I kept telling myself it would be
better this way, but I knew that wasn’t true. It wasn’t just the
girl. I felt as if my life hung in the balance. Letting Jason have
her would be like letting him take my life away.
I sat on the edge of the couch, my
elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I looked at my battered
boots. The laces were barely holding them together.
“So, you dickhead,” he said, “you have
to tell me what you did. You smell like food and pussy. Is that why
I couldn’t come along? You know I don’t want your sloppy seconds.”
He nudged me, laughed, then
“Where the fuck you been?” He sat up.
“Why didn’t you answer your cell?”
I stood by the door, facing away from
him. “You know I hate talking on the phone,” I said.
I heard him inhale. He smelled the
kill. “So did you kill her or make her?” he demanded.
“Neither.” I spun around to face
him.
“Hey, asshole don’t get pissy with me.
I’m not the one who went out and ate alone. Selfish dick!” He
reached for his cigarettes and lighter. He lit up, took a deep drag
and blew the smoke upward in a straight line. Then he looked at me.
“So what happened?”
“What? You need to know everything?
What are you, my fucking shrink? Are you going to ask if I want to
talk about it?” I folded my arms across my chest and glared at
him.
“Hey man, don’t take it personal.
You’ve got to admit, you’ve been acting pretty fucking weird since
she showed up. I just want to make sure that I don’t get killed by
the Quatre because of your ass.”
When he mentioned the Quatre I saw the
flipbook of images again, ending with Sara as a little girl. There
was something important in that picture but my mind couldn’t grasp
it. Then the picture blurred, and I wasn’t sure if I’d seen
anything. The flashing images were starting to piss me off. I
growled and clenched my jaw.
Jason heard my growl, rolled his eyes,
and flicked the ash from his cigarette. He pinched the bridge of
his nose, and sighed.
Finally I said: “Nothing happened. I
went to her house. I talked with her about the same stuff she
would’ve learned if she’d come to the workshop.” I stopped, hoping
that would cover it. I understood Jason’s intentions, but I wasn’t
going to tell him everything. Ash had affected him too, and I
wasn’t sure how. I just knew that his aura had taken on a strange
tone. It was as if he were radiating corruption.
My answer only sparked more interest.
“Really?” he said. “You talked to her? And she knows? Then what is
she?”
He was jealous. It had taken me a
moment to see that, but the churning colors in his aura could have
no other explanation. I didn’t know why. “She understands that she
is an incarnate,” I said, “but she doesn’t know much about what
kind of incarnate she is. She’s decided to have a private
meditation session on Saturday. I’m doing it at her place. After
that I’m hoping she’ll understand.” I closed my eyes, lowered my
head, and tried to envision what she could be.
Suddenly I understood Jason’s jealousy.
Just as vampires were encouraged to only mate with other vampires,
the same was true for incarnates. It made life simpler, eliminating
the need for secrecy. There were only a few female incarnates in
our part of the world, and the ones that weren’t already taken had
rejected Jason. He fucked up with every woman he found, but that
didn’t change the fact that he was looking for a mate.
“Do you think that I could tag along?”
Jason asked, taking another drag off his cigarette.
My heart sank. I had strong feelings
for Ash, and I felt like ripping his head off for even thinking of
her like that. It was like a blow to the stomach. Yet I knew he was
right. Jason wanted a partner. By law she was right for him, not
me. I was supposed to continue fucking and killing humans as
needed. After all, how could someone actually care about a monster
like me?
“Sure. Why not,” I said.
I kept telling myself it would be
better this way, but I knew that wasn’t true. It wasn’t just the
girl. I felt as if my life hung in the balance. Letting Jason have
her would be like letting him take my life away.
I sat on the edge of the couch, my
elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I looked at my battered
boots. The laces were barely holding them together.
“So, you dickhead,” he said, “you have
to tell me what you did. You smell like food and pussy. Is that why
I couldn’t come along? You know I don’t want your sloppy seconds.”
He nudged me, laughed, then
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