came from you?
ELAINE : An enormous amount. An enormous amount. You canât skirt around anguish and you canât skirt around pain, and I made him take back those scripts and rewrite and rewrite until we got it.
MIKE : It shows.
ELAINE : Not that heâs ever thanked me for it. Iâm not denying that heâs a very talented writer, but I had to ride shotgun over him to ensure we felt something.
MIKE : It shows.
ELAINE : Not that he ever thanked me for it. Did you ever see Days of Wine and Whitlam?
MIKE : [ nodding ] Good movie.
ELAINE : Do you remember how big Stewart Egan was then? International rock starâevery producer in the country offering him roles and every one of them being turned down flat. I saw him seventeen times before he agreed to do it. Seventeen times, and he finally signed. It made that film and it made Colin. Now, can you believe this? Without a word of warning, Colin turned on me last year and launched an incredible tirade about how Iâd compromised the film because Egan was a rock star. Can you believe that? Can you believe that?
MIKE : [ shifting uneasily ] Turned on you?
ELAINE : [ gritting her teeth ] I said to myself, âYou ungrateful swine . You ungrateful bloody swine .â And then he had the gall to tell me Scranton was the wrong choice of director.
MIKE : [ uneasily ] Really.
ELAINE : [ gritting her teeth ] I thought to myself, âYou conceited young swine. You were damn lucky to get him. Damn lucky to get him.â
MIKE : Scranton names his own price in Hollywood these days.
ELAINE : I thought to myself, âLetâs see you have the guts to land in Los Angeles without a penny and make it to the top like Scrantonâ. It took years to talk Colin into coming as far as Sydney.
MIKE : Perhaps he knows he wouldnât make it over there.
ELAINE : Exactly.
MIKE : If thereâs one thing Hollywood demands, itâs emotion.
ELAINE : [ grudgingly ] Heâs got talent.
MIKE : Sure.
ELAINE : But severe limitations.
MIKE : Yep.
ELAINE looks slightly ashamed of herself for having said so much.
ELAINE : Must go and meet this director. What is he, Yugoslav?
MIKE : Pole. Donât bother.
ELAINE : Youâve seen his film?
MIKE nods.
A little slow?
MIKE : [ nodding ] Starts at a crawl and gallops to a standstill.
ELAINE smiles, turns to go away, then turns back.
ELAINE : Are you and Colin working on your projects full-time, or do you have some time to spare?
MIKE : Always got time to spare if the projectâs good.
ELAINE : Iâve got a very good project. I should talk to you about it.
MIKE : Iâll give you a ring.
ELAINE exits.
[ To the audience ] Iâd worked out by this time that collaborating with Colin was leading nowhere. He didnât have a gut feel for the commercial and never would. I had my doubts about Elaine too. Pompous old chook, with more venom than the reptile house at the zoo, but she still had a reputation around the traps, and when the word got round that I was working on one of her projects, the real offers would start coming in.
MIKE exits. COLIN speaks to HELEN in another corner of the room. Heâs consumed with desire and trying desperately to conceal it.
COLIN : I donât normally come to these things.
HELEN : I have to. Iâm organising the PR for this guy.
COLIN : Must be difficult to crank yourself up into a state of enthusiasm if you donât really feel it.
HELEN : Can be, but this guyâs really nice. Have you met him?
COLIN : I havenât seen his film yet, so Iâm too embarrassed.
HELEN : Itâs really good. I know Iâm being paid to say that, but it really is.
COLIN : I must see it.
HELEN : [ nodding ] Itâs about this guy who loves his wife like crazyâeven though sheâs a bit off, behaviour-wise. Manic depressive or something. She falls in love with a truck driver and goes off with him and feels really guilty about it, but itâs
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