Read Online EllRay Jakes Is Magic by Sally Warner - Free Book Online Page B

jobs, so they must already be pretty rich. But whatever.
    “Good,” Fiona says, straightening the pile of papers as if she’s the teacher. “Stanley?”
    “I think Ms. Sanchez saw him writing it this morning,” Cynthia says, tattling.
    “She did not,” Stanley says, glaring at Cynthia through his smudged glasses. “Anyway, mind your own business. My advice is,
‘Make chocolate chip cookies for Mr. Timberlake every week.’
”
    I think that’s some very good advice.
Excellent
advice. And oatmeal cookies are good, too—if you leave out the raisins.
    “Corey?” Fiona asks.
    “Okay,” Corey says, blushing underneath his freckles. “My advice says,
‘Call your husband “honey” and “sweetie” and “darling” a lot, in case you forget his name.’”
    “Ooo, ‘darling,’” Stanley jeers. “
Smoochy, smoochy
,” he adds, kissing his hand.
    “You and your hand,” I say, teasing him. Corey’s my best friend, so Stanley should lay off. “What’s up with that? Are you in love with your hand, Stanley? Kissy, kissy, kissy?”
    A couple of girls giggle.
    “Shut up, EllRay,” Stanley mumbles, even though we aren’t allowed to say that.
    “Yeah. Shut up,” Jared says. “Here’s my advice for Ms. Sanchez.
‘Don’t fight in front of your kids.’
”
    I feel kind of bad about that one, because Jared’s parents
do
fight in front of their kids. And their kids’ friends. I heard them do it once. I wanted to go home—and I hugged my own mom and dad when I got there.
    “That’s a good one,” I tell Jared.
    “What’s yours?” Jared challenges me, in caseI’m making fun of him—which I’m not.
    I am instantly so embarrassed that my ears buzz. But of course this won’t be anywhere near as bad as the talent show tomorrow, I remind myself. “My advice says,
‘Learn how to play your husband’s favorite video games. And do whatever you want at night,’
” I add, thinking of my parents.
    “Also good ones,” Corey congratulates me.
    “No, they aren’t,” Heather scoffs. “They’re
opposites
! Because how is Ms. Sanchez going to play her husband’s video games
and
do whatever she wants at night? He should do what
she
wants, for a change.”
    “She could do both,” Corey says, defending me. “Maybe playing video games is what Ms. Sanchez really likes to do.”
    I kinda don’t think so. But I still think she could follow both pieces of advice.
    “Cynthia?” Fiona says, probably to change the subject—even though she’s usually so scared of her that she almost turns invisible when Cynthia and Heather are around. I guess being chosen to do the fancy cover for our class’s book has made her braver, somehow.
    “Okay,” Cynthia says, looking important. “Here’s
my
advice.
‘Instead of saying, “For richer or poorer, for better or worse,” which my mom says is in the wedding vows, you should say, “For richer and richer, for better and better.” Because why go asking for trouble?’
”
    “Good advice,” her assistant Heather says, nodding her head.
    Which proves that she would congratulate Cynthia on
anything.
    “But it’s
long
advice,” Emma says, frowning. “And I don’t think you can go changing stuff that’s in the Bible,” she adds.
    “It’s not
in
the Bible,” Cynthia tells her, her nose in the air. “Heather checked. Someone just made it up. What’s your wedding advice for Ms. Sanchez, if you’re so smart?”
    “Mine is,
‘Get lots of pets so you can practice for having babies,’
” Emma tells us. “Because I think they should have more than one. Baby, I mean.”
    Emma is an only child, she told me once. I guess that’s why she thinks that.
    I should lend her Alfie for a while.
    Annie Pat laughs. “That’s funny,” she says. “Because my advice is,
‘Go to the beach whenever you can. And only have one baby.’
”
    And Annie Pat’s mom has a baby at home!
    Annie Pat and Emma are best friends, but they gave OPPOSITE advice about having babies.