Out Of Order sign scribbled on cardboard was taped to the flush handle. My arm tensed as I reached for the stall door. I pushed it open slowly.
“Where’d she go?” My question reverberated in the empty stall.
“Who?” Eat’em asked.
“Who?” I repeated. Had there been no one. “The girl!”
“Oh, yeah,” Eat’em wagged his finger at the spot on the floor the blonde laid days ago. “Yeah, she left.”
I sighed, “I realize. I just want to know where she went. What happened?”
Eat’em climbed the sink counter and made an exaggerated Puck-like gesture, sweeping his arm in front of him toward a grand audience of one. “Please allow me to illustrate the scene,” He guided my attention around as he spoke, a true storyteller. “She stood from there…”
“Wait!” I interjected, “She stood up?”
“Yes,” Eat’em pointed toward the theater, “You excused yourself without warning and she stood and exchanged a looooonnnggg stare with Mr. Big. And I’m like, ‘Hey, disgusting right? He didn’t wash his hands!’ But they don’t say anything. I pontificate, ‘Attention ugly human creatures! Did you not see my acquaintance extricate himself from the commode prior to lathering his phalanges?’ I slowed down, yes. I pointed to this sign,” the sign above the sink warned washing hands is the number one way to spread illness and disease. “I said, ‘he is spreading germs right now, people. Learn from his mistakes!’ And then they didn’t say anything again. Boring! So I went to see what you were doing and I say, ‘Grotesque, you didn’t wash your hands.’ Not even you laughed. I even said, ‘Just kidding!’”
I knew I saw her wound shrinking, but I didn’t consider that she might have just gotten up and walked away. Why would she have? Why wouldn’t she have told anyone what happened?
“THEN!” Eat’em clapped his hands, “BANG!!! My favorite thing destroyed in an instant! You had no regard for my feelings, yes! NO! You didn’t ask me, ‘Hey, Eat’em, is it okay if I smash your new thing on ugly number one?’ NO! The human woman was upset too. She stood in the doorway there,” he extended a finger toward the entrance the old man leapt through unaffected by gravity. “She was so mad her proboscis spewed bile. She screamed,‘Noooooo! Not my magical universe containing box!’”
“She didn’t scream,” I could almost make out a phantom of her, watching the muscled behemoth and me collide. How’d I miss her? I never missed anything.
Eat’em picked a nostril with his tail, “No, she didn’t scream. But that’s what she would have screamed! I know that box contains the universe, Jacob! I know it does. I confirmed it with the posters, Jacob! Confirmed, yes! There was the universe, I wanted it, and you smashed it! Are you happy now?”
“Wait,” I stopped him, “What did you mean before, when you said her probe-thing spewed bile?”
“UGH…” Eat’em feigned backward, his hands gripped to his pointed ears. “Her nose puked! You never listen… I’m talking about all of the galaxies in a little box waiting for me to explore and you’re still asking about the stupid ugly human woman creature and her stupid nose! What is it with you and women?!”
We went back toward the lobby. “I’ll make it up to you with a bag of Skittles later.”
He huffed, “Well, if you’d have said that sooner.”
The supply closet was the last place I’d been on our previous visit to the planetarium. A few cleaning products were missing, but nothing else had been removed. My attention dropped to the box of gym clothes. Still opened.
I closed the lid and almost turned to leave when I noticed a smudge on the top of the flap. Blood? I pulled the box out from under the shelf and squatted for a closer look. Tucked in the corner I saw fabric of some sort. It was crumpled, hidden behind boxes and junk. It felt moist.
“What in the?” I unraveled it. Dark stains covered almost every
“Where’d she go?” My question reverberated in the empty stall.
“Who?” Eat’em asked.
“Who?” I repeated. Had there been no one. “The girl!”
“Oh, yeah,” Eat’em wagged his finger at the spot on the floor the blonde laid days ago. “Yeah, she left.”
I sighed, “I realize. I just want to know where she went. What happened?”
Eat’em climbed the sink counter and made an exaggerated Puck-like gesture, sweeping his arm in front of him toward a grand audience of one. “Please allow me to illustrate the scene,” He guided my attention around as he spoke, a true storyteller. “She stood from there…”
“Wait!” I interjected, “She stood up?”
“Yes,” Eat’em pointed toward the theater, “You excused yourself without warning and she stood and exchanged a looooonnnggg stare with Mr. Big. And I’m like, ‘Hey, disgusting right? He didn’t wash his hands!’ But they don’t say anything. I pontificate, ‘Attention ugly human creatures! Did you not see my acquaintance extricate himself from the commode prior to lathering his phalanges?’ I slowed down, yes. I pointed to this sign,” the sign above the sink warned washing hands is the number one way to spread illness and disease. “I said, ‘he is spreading germs right now, people. Learn from his mistakes!’ And then they didn’t say anything again. Boring! So I went to see what you were doing and I say, ‘Grotesque, you didn’t wash your hands.’ Not even you laughed. I even said, ‘Just kidding!’”
I knew I saw her wound shrinking, but I didn’t consider that she might have just gotten up and walked away. Why would she have? Why wouldn’t she have told anyone what happened?
“THEN!” Eat’em clapped his hands, “BANG!!! My favorite thing destroyed in an instant! You had no regard for my feelings, yes! NO! You didn’t ask me, ‘Hey, Eat’em, is it okay if I smash your new thing on ugly number one?’ NO! The human woman was upset too. She stood in the doorway there,” he extended a finger toward the entrance the old man leapt through unaffected by gravity. “She was so mad her proboscis spewed bile. She screamed,‘Noooooo! Not my magical universe containing box!’”
“She didn’t scream,” I could almost make out a phantom of her, watching the muscled behemoth and me collide. How’d I miss her? I never missed anything.
Eat’em picked a nostril with his tail, “No, she didn’t scream. But that’s what she would have screamed! I know that box contains the universe, Jacob! I know it does. I confirmed it with the posters, Jacob! Confirmed, yes! There was the universe, I wanted it, and you smashed it! Are you happy now?”
“Wait,” I stopped him, “What did you mean before, when you said her probe-thing spewed bile?”
“UGH…” Eat’em feigned backward, his hands gripped to his pointed ears. “Her nose puked! You never listen… I’m talking about all of the galaxies in a little box waiting for me to explore and you’re still asking about the stupid ugly human woman creature and her stupid nose! What is it with you and women?!”
We went back toward the lobby. “I’ll make it up to you with a bag of Skittles later.”
He huffed, “Well, if you’d have said that sooner.”
The supply closet was the last place I’d been on our previous visit to the planetarium. A few cleaning products were missing, but nothing else had been removed. My attention dropped to the box of gym clothes. Still opened.
I closed the lid and almost turned to leave when I noticed a smudge on the top of the flap. Blood? I pulled the box out from under the shelf and squatted for a closer look. Tucked in the corner I saw fabric of some sort. It was crumpled, hidden behind boxes and junk. It felt moist.
“What in the?” I unraveled it. Dark stains covered almost every
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