Read Online E. Godz by Robert Asprin, Esther Friesner - Free Book Online Page A

Fiorella. She had passed through the
bead curtain without calling forth so much as a click-click. The black cat let out a
wowowowwwwlllll of ecstatic greeting and leaped onto her shoulder where he perched
like an owl. "They're for the tourists."
    "Isn't everything?" Peez said, letting her eyes sweep across the shop. Her smile
mirrored Fiorella's. It was a stratagem that Teddy Tumtum had suggested to her. She
wished he were there to see how well she had begun this interview. Amazing how coolly
she could comport herself on the outside when her gut felt like a blender set on puree.
"Very kind of you to help them out, but doesn't it run into money when they don't return
them?"
    "Not at all." The witch-queen's little pink tongue ran lightly across her upper lip as if
she were relishing the taste of something very toothsome indeed. "Please note the sign."
    Peez looked at the wall above the cauldron. There hung a sheet of yellowed
parchment, slightly charred at the edges, with the calligraphed words:
    Welcome Ye Be to Borrow Mee in Tyme of Neede,
Yet Hearken Ye: A Witche's Curse Doth Follow Fast
on Hee Who Keepeth Mee.
    "That," said Peez, "is false advertising. There's no curse on those umbrellas. I'd be
able to feel it."
    "Nothing but the curse of truly awful poetry," said Fiorella complacently. "But it
works like a charm, and it's much cheaper than imbuing the umbrellas with a homing
spell. The tourists come here because they believe, or because they want to. The first rule
of successful retail is to give the public what the public wants, or thinks they do. I'm in
the business of meeting popular expectations. Just between the two of us, black isn't my
best color, incense makes me sneeze, and I'm frightfully allergic to my darling
Pyewacket, here." She reached up and scratched the black cat's fluffy chest. He purred
mightily. "But the tourists expect Ye Cat and Cauldron to have both, and I have a
reputation as a witch-queen to uphold. You can buy an awful lot of antihistamines on
what this store clears in a week."
    "I know. I've reviewed your records."
    "Thorough," Fiorella murmured. "But I'd expect no less of Edwina Godz's daughter."
She stepped back, gesturing at the bead curtain. "Would you care for some tea? I've just
been making preparations in the back—my Lilith Lair, as I like to call it. The two of us
have much to discuss."
    The area behind the bead curtain was a miniature jewel of a room, all ruby glass,
burgundy velvet, and gold silk tassels. The tea things were already set out on a low
mahogany table with ball-and-claw feet. Fiorella waved Peez to a place at one end of the
settee before settling herself at the other. "Two sugars and a squeeze of lemon for you,"
she said, filling Peez's cup.
    How does she know that's what I always put in my tea? Peez fought to keep her self-
possession. Fiorella had meant to astonish her, to throw her off-stride and gain the initial
advantage in this interview. I-know-something-about-you-that-you-didn't-know-I-knew
was a business ploy that had been old when Babylon was young. The witch-queen was up
to something. Peez felt a fleeting urge to rush out to the car and fetch Teddy Tumtum, but
she knew that was impossible. Instead she sat up a little straighter and launched a silvery
laugh.
    "How very kind of you to find out how I take my tea," she said smoothly. "But I'm
afraid your information is sadly out of date. I no longer care for lemon. Just cream." She
arched one eyebrow and peered critically into the tiny porcelain pitcher on the tea tray.
"That is cream, isn't it? Real cream?"
    Fiorella's perfect cheekbones flushed red. She muttered a few arcane words and
wiggled her fingers over the little pitcher. The level of liquid went down slightly and the
color deepened from the bluish-white of skim milk to the more buttery-white of full dairy
cream.
    "It is now," she said, somewhat testily.
    Peez sipped her tea and looked demure. Inside she was