Read Online Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars by Shannon K. Butcher - Free Book Online Page A

help and save the nearby towns from massacre. The Synestryn had planned on that, too, and were ready. They launched their real attack, which was designed to kill our women. It worked.”
    Jackie stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock. There was no emotion in his voice, no grief, horror, or regret.
    “We lost hundreds of women that night, and dozens of men. On top of the killing, they sterilized every male Theronai with some kind of magic—though it took us a while to figure out what they’d done. Without the ability to have children and refill our ranks, we’ve never recovered from that attack. Couple that with the painful deaths of many more men who can no longer house their growing power, and it was likely a killing blow.”
    “You think they’ve won?”
    Iain shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “I don’t think. I fight. I get up every day and kill as many of them as I can before they kill me.”
    “And you’re happy with that?”
    He turned his head, gazing at her. His black eyes held only faint confusion. “It’s not my job to be happy. I do what I need to so others can be.”
    “But what about what
you
want?”
    “It’s irrelevant. I realized it’s easiest not to want things, so I just stopped doing it.”
    “Stopped? How do you just…stop?” She would desperately like to learn that skill, because right about now, she’d really love to stop wanting what she was afraid she could never have. Her old life was a dream, a distant memory. As hard as she tried to reclaim it, she feared it would always be out of reach.
    That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to keep trying to make it happen. She was way too driven to simply give up.
    “This topic is clearly distressing you, and it’s my duty to see to your comfort. Let’s talk about something else. Or better yet, just not talk at all.”
    That suited her just fine.
    The landscape slid by them, the hope of spring hovering over everything. It was as if the world had just pulled in a deep breath and was holding it in anticipation.
    Jackie lasted for all of ten minutes before she couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “Do you hurt? Like the others?”
    “Hurt?”
    “Helen said that holding in all that power hurts you.” That thought had haunted Jackie the most—knowing these men were in pain. Helen had said Jackie could make it stop.
    “Helen talks too much.”
    She took that as verification of what she’d suspected. Iain was in pain, like the others. She’d only seen a coupleof flashes of it—always after he’d touched her, as if she somehow made it worse. “How do you manage it?”
    “Just fine, thank you.”
    She turned in her seat and stared at him, hoping her silence would force him to speak. His grip had tightened on the wheel, but other than that, his posture was relaxed. She wished she could do the same, but the tension riding between her shoulder blades never seemed to leave, even when she slept. Not that she did much of that these days. Nightmares of her time in captivity made it hard, and after she woke up a few days ago to one of the Theronai standing over her bed, watching her with desperate hope in his eyes, sleep had not come easily.
    Why, of all the dozens of Theronai she’d met, was Iain the only one who looked at her differently? Jackie stared at him, trying to figure him out.
    His luceria was paler than the other men’s, so pale it was nearly silver. She couldn’t see enough distinction between the colors to tell if there was any movement in the band, as there was in those of the other men like him.
    For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to put it on and wield the kind of power her sisters had. Would it hurt? Would it feel good? Would she feel anything at all?
    There was only one way to find out, and she wasn’t curious enough to try it.
    She stole glances at Iain as he drove, doing her best to hide it. She couldn’t help but stare. He intrigued her with his impassive expression, leaving her to puzzle out what