Read Online Driving Me Mad by Lindsay Paige - Free Book Online Page B

the
pitstop at campus for my things that I wonder if it’s good to use
Trace as a distraction.
    It’s not until we get to his
house that I wonder if he’s using me as well.
    ***

 
     

     
    I ’m lying on the
couch while Brittany is sitting in the recliner, obsessing over her
homework. My stomach is starting to grumble from where we never
finished eating thanks to my own panic attack. I’ve been watching
her for two hours. She’s squeezed her wrist over a hundred times
because yes, I started counting.
    “Brittany.” She lifts her
head. “Are you hungry?”
    “No, I’m fine.” She returns
her attention to her laptop and textbook.
    I stand and head to the
kitchen to fix us dinner. I feel bad, like I’m the reason for her
anxiety and in turn, her loss of appetite. Maybe I can get her to
eat something anyway. Cheeseburgers and French fries are on the
Lexington Menu tonight. Who can resist that? I can feel myself
shutting down and if a person’s mind can dig its heels in to
resist, I’m sure doing it. The night has been a bit rough as it is
and I don’t need to dampen it even more by wanting to crawl into
bed and leave Brittany to her own anxiety with her homework.
    “Hey,” I poke my head into
the living room. “Come eat.”
    Brittany doesn’t even lift
her head. She’s seems to be busy rewriting what I’m sure was a
perfectly well-written paper because her fingers are flying across
the keyboard at a rapid pace, stopping occasionally only to slam
down on the backspace key repeatedly. “Not hungry,” she mumbles. I
walk into the room, carefully pick up her laptop, and hold it
behind my back as she reaches for it. “Give it back.”
    “Come eat with me.” It’s a
simple request that she should have no problem accepting.
    “I’m not hungry, Trace. Give
me back my laptop,” she demands in a low tone with a glare.
    “No. I’ve seen everything
you’ve eaten today, and you have to be hungry. I am.”
    “That’s because you’re a
fucking giant! Give it back!” Her outburst surprises me as she
stands and reaches for the device again. “I didn’t save it and it
could crash at any time. I was right in the middle of a sentence,
too! I’ll eat when I get hungry.”
    “Which won’t be until
tomorrow. What was it you told me the first day you saw me in my
office? Something about you looking like crap? That’s because
you’ve lost too much weight. You should eat something, even if it’s
only a little bit. Your body needs it.”
    Her arms fall to her sides,
only to be propped on her hips. “You know, Trace, that’s just what
every girl wants to hear. Thank you for telling me. It definitely
makes me want to go stuff my face with food that makes me nauseated
already!” she shouts. She takes a deep breath. It’s as if all her
fight leaves with her exhale. “I call the grinch,” she whispers,
plopping back into the recliner, which causes her textbook that was
balancing on the arm to fall onto the floor.
    “What?” What the hell does
that mean?
    “It’s something Rebecca and I
came up with. It means I need twenty-four hours completely to
myself to deal.” Her fingers wrap around her wrist. “I thought I’d
be okay tonight, but I don’t know. I’m snapping and yelling at you,
and,” she shakes her head, “I think I need the grinch.”
    The last thing she needs, the
last thing I need, is for either of us to be lost in our own
heads. I think that’s why I asked her to come back. To keep me in
the here and now and not in the dark, murky places of my mind. I
place her laptop on the coffee table and get on my knees in front
of her, reaching for her hands.
    My mouth opens and closes a
few times as I struggle with what to say. Me, a therapist, has no
fucking clue what to tell her. Nothing seems appropriate or right
because half of it is a slew of things I could say to soothe her
while the other half would allow me to keep my end of the bargain
of making us a two-way street. I’d much rather