Read Online Don't Look Back by Nicola Graham - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Nicola Graham
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girlfriend.
The first time I notice him is during Sports Day in June, 1983, when I am a first-year student at senior school. I am walking off the field toward the girls’ changing rooms after taking second place in the one hundred meter hurdle finals. Sully is fifteen, already two years ahead of me at school, tall andslender, with olive-toned skin and soft brown eyes. I stop to watch him in the pole vault competition.
He’s standing at the starting line in his crisp white shorts, his brow furrowed with deep concentration, his long, lean legs rocking back and forth in preparation for his sprint. I’m fascinated as he starts running with his long stride, and I hold my breath as the pole makes contact with the ground. I stand captivated, watching him fly upward and over the bar, gracefully clearing it with ease, pushing the pole backward and away from his body, elegantly twisting in midair, then landing upon the thick padded mats below. He is beautiful, and I am mesmerized by his fluid movements. I feel drawn to him, as if seeing a long lost relative for the first time. I feel like I know him, like I am supposed to know him.
He jumps up, and for a moment, our eyes meet and a slight smile touches the corners of his lips as he jogs past me, back to the start for his next jump. Horrifically embarrassed, I turn around and head straight for the girls’ changing room to escape, my face blushing bright red.
It’s a few months before our next encounter. By a stroke of luck, the following autumn, Diana starts going out with Terry Hearst, who happens to be a friend of Sully’s. One day after school, I am hanging out with Diana. When we walk around the corner to Terry’s house, Sully is there, watching television with Terry. The four of us start to hang out in front of Terry’s house daily after school, and sometimes we go to the field to watch the boys kick a football around. Diana and Terry kiss each other goodbye awkwardly and we run away, giggling, acting like thesilly teenage girls we are.
Sully is there most days, and as the weeks go on, Terry and Diana spend more time together, and Sully and I find ourselves enjoying each other’s company, huddling close to stay warm on the cold winter afternoons. It gets dark early, and I have to be home before the street lights come on, so we only spend an hour or so hanging out, but we talk about many different things. I think he’s smart and clever. He makes me laugh, and he even teaches me some tricks with a football. It isn’t awkward or uncomfortable between us—we’re friends. In a way, he’s almost the brother I never had, and he becomes an essential part of my day.
When the school discos start on Friday nights in the spring of 1984, things change between Sully and me. One Friday night, when the traditional slow song comes on at the end of the night, he asks me to dance. I accept, and we awkwardly stand on the dance floor, shuffling our feet round and round, surrounded by endless couples making out. I don’t know what to do with my hands, so I set them stiffly on his shoulders. His hands are gripping the sides of my waist. We don’t speak, we don’t look at each other, and we certainly don’t kiss. But as awkward as it is, something inside me leaps, and dormant butterflies stir for the first time in my belly.
The song finishes, the lights come on, and Sully disappears, yelling “See ya!” over his shoulder like he can’t escape quickly enough. He doesn’t walk home with us that night; he leaves me to walk with the two love birds, Terry and Di. I see him at school only once or twice the next week, from a distance, and he isn’t at Terry’s at all. I am sad; I miss hangingout with him, and I feel like he is avoiding me. It isn’t the same sitting at the field by myself while Terry and Diana roll around together, hugging and kissing. I feel like a fool sitting alone, and I wonder what I’ve done to make Sully not want to be my friend anymore. I feel his absence
The first time I notice him is during Sports Day in June, 1983, when I am a first-year student at senior school. I am walking off the field toward the girls’ changing rooms after taking second place in the one hundred meter hurdle finals. Sully is fifteen, already two years ahead of me at school, tall andslender, with olive-toned skin and soft brown eyes. I stop to watch him in the pole vault competition.
He’s standing at the starting line in his crisp white shorts, his brow furrowed with deep concentration, his long, lean legs rocking back and forth in preparation for his sprint. I’m fascinated as he starts running with his long stride, and I hold my breath as the pole makes contact with the ground. I stand captivated, watching him fly upward and over the bar, gracefully clearing it with ease, pushing the pole backward and away from his body, elegantly twisting in midair, then landing upon the thick padded mats below. He is beautiful, and I am mesmerized by his fluid movements. I feel drawn to him, as if seeing a long lost relative for the first time. I feel like I know him, like I am supposed to know him.
He jumps up, and for a moment, our eyes meet and a slight smile touches the corners of his lips as he jogs past me, back to the start for his next jump. Horrifically embarrassed, I turn around and head straight for the girls’ changing room to escape, my face blushing bright red.
It’s a few months before our next encounter. By a stroke of luck, the following autumn, Diana starts going out with Terry Hearst, who happens to be a friend of Sully’s. One day after school, I am hanging out with Diana. When we walk around the corner to Terry’s house, Sully is there, watching television with Terry. The four of us start to hang out in front of Terry’s house daily after school, and sometimes we go to the field to watch the boys kick a football around. Diana and Terry kiss each other goodbye awkwardly and we run away, giggling, acting like thesilly teenage girls we are.
Sully is there most days, and as the weeks go on, Terry and Diana spend more time together, and Sully and I find ourselves enjoying each other’s company, huddling close to stay warm on the cold winter afternoons. It gets dark early, and I have to be home before the street lights come on, so we only spend an hour or so hanging out, but we talk about many different things. I think he’s smart and clever. He makes me laugh, and he even teaches me some tricks with a football. It isn’t awkward or uncomfortable between us—we’re friends. In a way, he’s almost the brother I never had, and he becomes an essential part of my day.
When the school discos start on Friday nights in the spring of 1984, things change between Sully and me. One Friday night, when the traditional slow song comes on at the end of the night, he asks me to dance. I accept, and we awkwardly stand on the dance floor, shuffling our feet round and round, surrounded by endless couples making out. I don’t know what to do with my hands, so I set them stiffly on his shoulders. His hands are gripping the sides of my waist. We don’t speak, we don’t look at each other, and we certainly don’t kiss. But as awkward as it is, something inside me leaps, and dormant butterflies stir for the first time in my belly.
The song finishes, the lights come on, and Sully disappears, yelling “See ya!” over his shoulder like he can’t escape quickly enough. He doesn’t walk home with us that night; he leaves me to walk with the two love birds, Terry and Di. I see him at school only once or twice the next week, from a distance, and he isn’t at Terry’s at all. I am sad; I miss hangingout with him, and I feel like he is avoiding me. It isn’t the same sitting at the field by myself while Terry and Diana roll around together, hugging and kissing. I feel like a fool sitting alone, and I wonder what I’ve done to make Sully not want to be my friend anymore. I feel his absence
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