Do Not Forsake Me

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Authors: Rosanne Bittner
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    â€œJake, you know you’re always welcome.”
    Jake nodded. “Maybe so—maybe not.”
    The older man patted his arm in what Jeff thought was an amazingly kind gesture that Jake actually didn’t seem to mind. The man turned and went inside the church. Jake waited until the front door closed, then went to the steps and sat down. Moments later, everyone inside began singing the hymn “Rock of Ages.”
    Jeff waited a moment, studying Jake, thinking how lonely he suddenly looked sitting there on the church steps.
    Let me hide myself in thee…
    Did he think he wasn’t good enough to go inside?
    Let the water and the blood, from thy wounded side which flowed…
    Jeff took a deep breath for courage and approached him. He couldn’t resist this chance to talk to the man, even though he’d been warned to talk to his wife first. After all, Harkner seemed in a better mood today, and he was rested up from his encounter with the outlaws he’d brought in. Jake caught sight of him right away and watched him closely as Jeff pointed to the steps. “May I?”
    Jake removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair, then put his hat back on. “I don’t own the steps, Trubridge. Go ahead and sit.”
    Jeff sat down, leaning against the wooden railing. “You’re not going inside?”
    Jake took a cigarette from a shirt pocket. “No.” He lit the cigarette.
    â€œMay I ask why? Your whole family is in there.”
    Jake rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m beyond salvation, Trubridge, and my final destination sure as hell isn’t heaven. I don’t think the good Lord needs someone like me defiling his place of worship.”
    â€œYour wife doesn’t believe that, does she?”
    Jake smoked quietly for a moment.
    â€œI was wondering when you’d show up again. Brian told me you were snooping around the jail last night and asking him a lot of questions. I told you to wait and talk to my wife first.”
    So, you intend to change the subject. “Oh, I will do just that. The reason I went to the jail was to see what those men had to say about what happened. Your son-in-law just happened to be there.”
    Jake took a drag on the cigarette and took it from his mouth as he exhaled. “And I’m sure the men I brought back had some glowing things to say about me.”
    Jeff grinned. “Oh, they are very fond of you.”
    Jake actually laughed lightly. Jeff was struck by how different he looked when he smiled. A damn handsome grin it was, and it seemed to change the whole nature of the man. “Yes,” he answered. “They said you’re the most wonderful man they’ve ever known, and they’re glad you made them see the wrong in what they did.”
    Jake laughed again. “Trubridge, I don’t want to like you, but I kind of do.” He looked Jeff over. “I’m a pretty good judge of men, and something about you says I can trust you.”
    Jeff nodded eagerly. “Oh, you can!” He removed his wire-rimmed glasses and cleaned them with a handkerchief. “I’m sincere in wanting to do this right, Jake. I put in my notes last night what an enigma you are.”
    â€œEnigma?” Jake shook his head. “Well, number one—I never had any schooling, so I wouldn’t know what that word meant if it weren’t for my wife. She schooled our kids most of their lives because we usually lived where there weren’t any schools. I guess while she was teaching them, I was learning more myself. And number two—I guess you’re right. I can’t figure my own self out, let alone somebody else understanding me, so enigma is a pretty fitting word.”
    Another hymn. “Amazing Grace.”
    â€¦that saved a wretch like me…
    Jake quieted for a moment and seemed to be listening to the words. Jeff waited.
    â€œI guess my wife understands me better than

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